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What Not to Say to a Newbie

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    #1

    What Not to Say to a Newbie

    I stole this from another forum I visit

    Someone asks a 'newbie' type question and you give the wrong answer.

    Example: What is a BoS?
    Next poster would answer: Bag of Shenanigans



    Here's mah newbie question:

    When I burn a jar candle, where does all the wax go?
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

    Originally posted by perzephone View Post
    I stole this from another forum I visit

    Someone asks a 'newbie' type question and you give the wrong answer.

    Example: What is a BoS?
    Next poster would answer: Bag of Shenanigans



    Here's mah newbie question:

    When I burn a jar candle, where does all the wax go?
    Well duh, candles are magic. Why do you think we use them in spells? It just magics away!

    I've been trying to make my broomstick fly but it won't leave the floor. What am I doing wrong? Is it that I need a black cat to ride on the back?
    夕方に急なにわか雨は｢夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は｢朝立ち」と呼ばれないの？ ＾＾If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

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      #3
      Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

      Originally posted by Jembru View Post
      I've been trying to make my broomstick fly but it won't leave the floor. What am I doing wrong? Is it that I need a black cat to ride on the back?
      Did you remember to put petrol in it? It won't fly without it.

      What's the best way to make an offering to a deity?
      http://thefeministpagan.blogspot.co.uk/

      Comment

        #4
        Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

        Well, the best way involves an unbaptized child and a big knife...

        How do I get some of my boy/girlfriend's pubic hair without seeming suspicious?
        Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure. Do not mistake a child for his symptom.
        -Erik Erikson

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          #5
          Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

          Shower drain. Works every time.

          I think my apartment is haunted...I keep hearing steps on the ceiling during the night! What should I do?!?!
          Great Grandmother's Kitchen

          Comment

            #6
            Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

            Originally posted by Dez View Post
            Shower drain. Works every time.

            I think my apartment is haunted...I keep hearing steps on the ceiling during the night! What should I do?!?!
            Earplugs. Won't hear them anymore.

            People are bullying me, what can I do to stop their bullying?
            [4:82]

            Comment

              #7
              Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

              Summon Q

              I keep dreaming about armageddon, is it an omen?
              life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

              Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

              "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

              John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

              "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

              Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


              Comment

                #8
                Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
                I keep dreaming about armageddon, is it an omen?
                No, the Gray Aliens were beaming it into your head while you slept. Try wearing a tinfoil hat at bedtime.

                A black cat is following me everywhere! Is it my familiar?
                The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                  Originally posted by perzephone View Post
                  No, the Gray Aliens were beaming it into your head while you slept. Try wearing a tinfoil hat at bedtime.

                  A black cat is following me everywhere! Is it my familiar?
                  No. You are the Black Cat's familiar

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                    ^sans question so I'll toss one in [evil grin]

                    Every time I try to evoke the gods, I fail. What am I doing wrong?




                    "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

                    "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

                    "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

                    "The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." - Johnny Depp


                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                      Masturbating at night.

                      Why can't I see auras?


                      Mostly art.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                        ^^
                        Electronic frequencies are blocking them. Try switching off all your electronics, and don't carry a cell phone.

                        Ever since I can remember, I've felt like I was different somehow...special, I guess. I've always felt that I wasn't quite human. I think I might have been a dragon in my last life. How do I know if I'm a dragon?

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                          Jump off a cliff, if you start flying then you're non-human. If not, well you might be a dragon in your next life....

                          (I am not responsible for anyone dumb enough to attempt the above.)

                          I seez dead people, what do I do?
                          life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

                          Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

                          "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

                          John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

                          "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

                          Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


                          Comment

                            #14
                            Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                            Talk to them in public and talk to strangers about it.

                            I keep seeing numbers everywhere; what does it mean?
                            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." - Khalil Gibran

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Re: What Not to Say to a Newbie

                              You're a math genius who has discovered the key to unlocking the very secrets of the universe itself.

                              There's this guy in my math class, and I really like him, but he's really popular and doesn't know I'm alive. What's a good love spell that will make him fall for me?

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