Hi, I'm Allan
For those who dont know me (which is most of you) I have moderately severe Dissociative Identity Dissorder which I have been dealing with all of my life. I have over 56 "Named" personalities that regularly front, and I/we bassically discover new personalities every few weeks.
It's not always a walk in the park, but we are a family and "I" am a rather unique person.
In fact the question I am inquiring about is not actually mine but belongs to my main switching partner Annika.
Annika has always had a close relationship to Aphrodite even when we/I were about 7 years of age. Annika is the most pagan part of me, and actually did wiccan "cerimonies" when we/I was little and even before I litterally even knew anyting about it. When I was about 13 I/we started to notice that we were most truly not normal.
Its hard for a teenage boy just on his own sexually, not to mention switching with males females (and children) on an hourly basis.
It was hard for many of my female alters (and still is) to live in a male body. As strange as that sounds to someone with a normal psycology, It would be as if you were literally traped (with no way out) in the physical body of your brother and sharing that body with 50 other people. I highly doubt many of the females on this forum would honeslty enjoy that senario...
Annika HATES not being female, although "I" dont, but it is a hate so strong it has nearly driven her to suicide. She learned that Aphrodite (in mythology) was the patron of "souls trapped in the wrong body." So she actively prayed and wished for a relationship with her.
And as strange as it sounds for a normal person, someone with DID can actually have thier alters dream as themselves, or have kind of Individual dreams. In a dream "I" had last night Annika was in control. Which she as an individual adamantly enjoys becasue she can well...look like herself. She dreamed that she was in a kind of greek island and she went into Apphrodites temple. She had an audience with her.
They talked ans she answered her questions and such and Apphrodite invited her to umm, "Take a bath with her" and this personality was too embarased so she declined and the dream ended.
Although this sounds very unusual, Annika's feelings were that her intentions were just playful but had a little bit of a sexual taint to it. Which was uncomfortable/embarasing to this personality. I dont think you really understand that part of my psyche or me in general, but the reason why I have this severe of Dissociation is becasue I was abused as a child and have emotional scars attached to it.
She (and the rest of us) think that Approdite (and also in waking life and in meditations/feelings) she is just trying to say "It's okay, you shouldnt be so guarded like you are. You should let yourself heal." But in the words of another personality Sasha "She's the Bloody Goddess of Love what do you expect!"
Or It could be just a dream, and we are overanalyzing the situation.
I'm sorry if that is overly strange but it has been on our minds.
avarin
For those who dont know me (which is most of you) I have moderately severe Dissociative Identity Dissorder which I have been dealing with all of my life. I have over 56 "Named" personalities that regularly front, and I/we bassically discover new personalities every few weeks.
It's not always a walk in the park, but we are a family and "I" am a rather unique person.
In fact the question I am inquiring about is not actually mine but belongs to my main switching partner Annika.
Annika has always had a close relationship to Aphrodite even when we/I were about 7 years of age. Annika is the most pagan part of me, and actually did wiccan "cerimonies" when we/I was little and even before I litterally even knew anyting about it. When I was about 13 I/we started to notice that we were most truly not normal.
Its hard for a teenage boy just on his own sexually, not to mention switching with males females (and children) on an hourly basis.
It was hard for many of my female alters (and still is) to live in a male body. As strange as that sounds to someone with a normal psycology, It would be as if you were literally traped (with no way out) in the physical body of your brother and sharing that body with 50 other people. I highly doubt many of the females on this forum would honeslty enjoy that senario...
Annika HATES not being female, although "I" dont, but it is a hate so strong it has nearly driven her to suicide. She learned that Aphrodite (in mythology) was the patron of "souls trapped in the wrong body." So she actively prayed and wished for a relationship with her.
And as strange as it sounds for a normal person, someone with DID can actually have thier alters dream as themselves, or have kind of Individual dreams. In a dream "I" had last night Annika was in control. Which she as an individual adamantly enjoys becasue she can well...look like herself. She dreamed that she was in a kind of greek island and she went into Apphrodites temple. She had an audience with her.
They talked ans she answered her questions and such and Apphrodite invited her to umm, "Take a bath with her" and this personality was too embarased so she declined and the dream ended.
Although this sounds very unusual, Annika's feelings were that her intentions were just playful but had a little bit of a sexual taint to it. Which was uncomfortable/embarasing to this personality. I dont think you really understand that part of my psyche or me in general, but the reason why I have this severe of Dissociation is becasue I was abused as a child and have emotional scars attached to it.
She (and the rest of us) think that Approdite (and also in waking life and in meditations/feelings) she is just trying to say "It's okay, you shouldnt be so guarded like you are. You should let yourself heal." But in the words of another personality Sasha "She's the Bloody Goddess of Love what do you expect!"
Or It could be just a dream, and we are overanalyzing the situation.
I'm sorry if that is overly strange but it has been on our minds.
avarin
