Some Thoughts on Spirituality

[Poshi]

So I was talking to my boyfriend last night about a few topics relating to my religion, and he had some really wonderful points that I wanted to share with you all. You were a huge help in getting me to find out how to be more open with him about spirituality, so your advice got me a long way. (For curious folk, that thread is here: http://www.paganforum.com/showthread...iccan-Religion).

Since my boyfriend is atheist, the primary thing that we talked about was Gods and Goddesses, and how my main issue right now with my practice is having a really tough time feeling like I'm able to identify my God and Goddess. While I know that having identities for them isn't mandatory and shouldn't be rushed, it's something that's really frustrating to me because it's important to me in my day-to-day life. I really want to feel like I have a more personal connection, and I'm admittedly getting a little frustrated that it's taking so long. I talked to my boyfriend about how I feel the presence of my God and Goddess, but have been having a really difficult time identifying them. I have felt for a while that the male presence I am feeling is Cernunnos, but I am not certain of that and I'm having an even harder time placing the Goddess who is reaching out to me. I mentioned to him the very smart comment that someone on here made (I apologize for not being able to give them credit!) about how it's possible that some people are feeling deities that might not have ever been worshiped before not and that's why they don't have a name to give. I thought that was incredibly interesting, and my boyfriend used that to build on. He explained it like this:

Each person is a filter. We see the world through our experiences and our paradigm. He and I have a good relationship. We're very close. I am surrounded by that, and have a grasp because of it on what a male presence feels like. However, in my life right now... I can't say that I have much confidence or trust myself, and it's something that I'm trying very hard to work on. But while I'm still shaky on my own two feet, my perception of female entities is just as shaky, because I don't have any outside positive female influence. I'm not tuned into that. Because I see things a certain way, I am blocking out some of the information I could be receiving simply because that's how my filter is set. I'm not allowing myself to be open and honest about what I feel and I don't have that level of trust with myself right now. I'm not in touch with that.

While I'm doing a really not-great job of explaining this to you, and he would do a much better job making it make sense, let me get ahead to my question. Does anyone else on here have issues making that connection and reaching that identification? If so, what are your theories on it? How are you dealing with it? I'm very curious!

[Malflick]

that makes a lot of sense to me. I'm really impressed at that insight! Obviously I'm not Pagan, but I can see that quite a bit, worshiping a God I see as neither and both male and female, and that line of thought makes sense to me.

It very often is easiest to see parts of the divine when we are closest to those parts in our own lives.

I'll have to think about this more before I respond more thank you for sharing this!

[Heka]

Each person is a filter. We see the world through our experiences and our paradigm. He and I have a good relationship. We're very close. I am surrounded by that, and have a grasp because of it on what a male presence feels like. However, in my life right now... I can't say that I have much confidence or trust myself, and it's something that I'm trying very hard to work on. But while I'm still shaky on my own two feet, my perception of female entities is just as shaky, because I don't have any outside positive female influence. I'm not tuned into that. Because I see things a certain way, I am blocking out some of the information I could be receiving simply because that's how my filter is set. I'm not allowing myself to be open and honest about what I feel and I don't have that level of trust with myself right now. I'm not in touch with that.

woah. That is cool, and so great that your bf help you to see that. Brilliant.


Lol, Mal, I bet you can pick my exact feelings at this point hey :P *sigh*

- - - Updated - - -

Does anyone else on here have issues making that connection and reaching that identification? If so, what are your theories on it? How are you dealing with it? I'm very curious!

And yes. My focus ATM is study study study. I feel like a teenager at school, but this is more interesting!

[Malflick]

Lol, Mal, I bet you can pick my exact feelings at this point hey :P *sigh*

Yes, yes i can *offers you an internet hug*

[Heka]

Yes, yes i can *offers you an internet hug*

yay for hugs! Haha

[Poshi]

I was really impressed at how he could see through me and come to that conclusion when I hadn't even thought of it. It's really amazing to be able to see that sort of stuff in other people, I think.
You guys definitely gave me the information I needed to be able to ask my next question: How should I go about reaching out and becoming more familiar with this Goddess? I don't feel like she's necessarily reaching for me, more just waiting for me to be able to reach for her. Is there something I should do to open myself up to her?

[Azvanna]

I think there's a ritual described in 'Drawing Down the Moon' which is a dedication ritual. Have you tried something similar? Maybe you won't like to try, though, until you know who you're dedicating yourself too. It sounds like you've been trying for a long time, so maybe you've already done something like it, but I'll elaborate anyway.

At the beginning of my spirituality, I prayed a prayer receiving Jesus Christ as Lord over my life. It was a separate prayer apart from baptism, confirmation or any of the other more formal rituals. It was a simple prayer that I found in a catholic text book that I prayed alone. The format was a simple A, B, C and I think I could be modified pretty easily.
A - Acknowledge the deity's call to you.
B- Believe the deity is what it says it is.
C - Confess the deity's authority within you (if that's what you believe) and invite the deity into your heart to be a guiding and transformative presence.
You could create your own ritual with a prayer of invitation that you feel comfortable with.

Again though, I think the dedication/invitation ritual described in Drawing Down the Moon was really nice. http://magicalrituals.blogspot.com.a...ting-with.html

[Poshi]

I think there's a ritual described in 'Drawing Down the Moon' which is a dedication ritual. Have you tried something similar? Maybe you won't like to try, though, until you know who you're dedicating yourself too. It sounds like you've been trying for a long time, so maybe you've already done something like it, but I'll elaborate anyway.

At the beginning of my spirituality, I prayed a prayer receiving Jesus Christ as Lord over my life. It was a separate prayer apart from baptism, confirmation or any of the other more formal rituals. It was a simple prayer that I found in a catholic text book that I prayed alone. The format was a simple A, B, C and I think I could be modified pretty easily.
A - Acknowledge the deity's call to you.
B- Believe the deity is what it says it is.
C - Confess the deity's authority within you (if that's what you believe) and invite the deity into your heart to be a guiding and transformative presence.
You could create your own ritual with a prayer of invitation that you feel comfortable with.

Again though, I think the dedication/invitation ritual described in Drawing Down the Moon was really nice. http://magicalrituals.blogspot.com.a...ting-with.html

Wow, thank you very much! That's incredibly helpful and what I'll probably turn to when I decide to dedicate myself with a better idea of which Goddess I'm dealing with. I have never thought of it as being so simple.