I don't know why it took a stupid photo on FB to make me realize this, but I don't spend any time with my BF anymore. He sleeps until 2:16pm, goes to work at 2:30, comes home at midnight, and then plays video games until 5-6am. If I'm lucky, we might have some intimacy but I have to ask him for that -- it's never his idea and he never instigates anything physical. He never instigates anything that we might do together. I'm sure he thinks he's showing his love for me when he paid my rent for this month, but I didn't ask him to do that and I don't want his damn money, I want HIM. We don't watch movies together, don't watch shows together like we used to -- we don't spend any fucking time together. He just comes home and wants to play video games, and then when he knows I'm going to sleep, he'll come tuck me in, and then go right back to gaming.
I feel unimportant. I feel undesirable. I feel like maybe we're just playing house. I'm not asking to be the center of his universe but just a tiny bit of attention would go a long way.
He shows his love in practical ways -- buying the groceries I like, getting me Christmas things, and so I KNOW he cares, but money is the laziest thing to me. I want quality time and when I don't get it I feel huffy and it makes me resort to getting my attention in other places, which isn't cheating but is at least on its way there. I don't want anyone else, I want him, and I want to explain that this just isn't enough. Stop buying me things and watch a damn movie with me, talk to me, SOMETHING.
-sigh-
Thoughts? Rants? Words of advice? I'll take whatever you got.
I feel unimportant. I feel undesirable. I feel like maybe we're just playing house. I'm not asking to be the center of his universe but just a tiny bit of attention would go a long way.
He shows his love in practical ways -- buying the groceries I like, getting me Christmas things, and so I KNOW he cares, but money is the laziest thing to me. I want quality time and when I don't get it I feel huffy and it makes me resort to getting my attention in other places, which isn't cheating but is at least on its way there. I don't want anyone else, I want him, and I want to explain that this just isn't enough. Stop buying me things and watch a damn movie with me, talk to me, SOMETHING.
-sigh-
Thoughts? Rants? Words of advice? I'll take whatever you got.
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