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    why the net sucks for women

    Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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    #2
    Re: why the net sucks for women

    Having someone say things like that to you affects you, whether it's online or in person. When I was 15, a boy in my class cornered me and said "what would you do if I raped you?" and it made me feel so horrible. Years ago, I was more public online and it took me years to feel comfortable with myself and my body and to recover from some of the things that were said to me. I've heard a lot of things like "you need a thicker skin online," but that doesn't help. Words hurt and words can be disturbing. We don't need to learn to have thicker skins; people need to learn that the people on the other side of the screen are real people with feelings.

    Rape isn't about sexual attraction most of the time; it's about power. It's the same idea when it's threats over the internet. I think those people see what women say and feel the need to cut them down.
    Last edited by DanieMarie; 07 Jan 2014, 14:22.

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      #3
      Re: why the net sucks for women

      I read this article on Facebook and I just haven't seen it. Certainly my personal experiences aren't the whole world, but I've seen as many examples of men being targeted as women. I don't think these threats are a gender issue -- just gender is a handy tool to use when these people go on their rampages.

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        #4
        Re: why the net sucks for women

        I can't think of much to say, other than sad agreement.

        - - - Updated - - -

        Originally posted by Rowanwood View Post
        I read this article on Facebook and I just haven't seen it. Certainly my personal experiences aren't the whole world, but I've seen as many examples of men being targeted as women. I don't think these threats are a gender issue -- just gender is a handy tool to use when these people go on their rampages.
        I've barely seen it on any men ever, but plenty when women raise their voices on my social media feeds...
        Last edited by Malflick; 07 Jan 2014, 14:55. Reason: doublepost
        hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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          #5
          Re: why the net sucks for women

          I haven't had any of this kind of stuff get thrown in my face personally-but then again, I don't throw out my two cents regarding feminism and stuff that's going to pander and attract those kinds of idiots looking for an excuse to cause trouble. Still though, it's sad and pathetic that people go to these kinds of lengths
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            #6
            Re: why the net sucks for women

            Originally posted by Malflick View Post
            I've barely seen it on any men ever, but plenty when women raise their voices on my social media feeds...
            You've barely seen verbal abuse aimed at men? I've read entirely too many tweets and comments along that vein, at men and women both. Because that is what this is, verbal abuse, it's people who want to hurt others with their words.

            Rape is vile, hurtful, and terrifying. That's why they use those threats, because they know it'll get the reaction they want.

            When you are dealing with feminists, of course most of the vilest comments are going to be misogynistic... because the commenters know that those tactics will get under their skin more than anything else.

            Men don't get nearly as many rape based threats because most men don't really think about getting raped let alone worry about it. (unless you are talking about prison rape.)

            Most attacks of this nature against men tend to either be focused on castration specifically or emasculation in general, because that is something that they would know would get under most men's skin in the same kind of way. I've seen those comments aplenty.

            This isn't entirely about misogyny, though that can and does play a role in a lot of this. I'd say this is mostly about people being assholes on the internet, which is old news.

            The only thing in that article that really rustled my jimmies was the lack of police response and dismissal of people concerns. Jurisdiction is becoming more and more of a problem in our global culture, and really needs to get with the times.

            Some of the statistics were worrying, but I'd need to know more about how they got that info and what it means before I can comment on it really.

            Statistics aren't exactly great on that front.
            Trust is knowing someone or something well enough to have a good idea of their motivations and character, for good or for ill. People often say trust when they mean faith.

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              #7
              Re: why the net sucks for women

              Originally posted by Denarius View Post
              You've barely seen verbal abuse aimed at men? I've read entirely too many tweets and comments along that vein, at men and women both. Because that is what this is, verbal abuse, it's people who want to hurt others with their words.

              Rape is vile, hurtful, and terrifying. That's why they use those threats, because they know it'll get the reaction they want.

              When you are dealing with feminists, of course most of the vilest comments are going to be misogynistic... because the commenters know that those tactics will get under their skin more than anything else.

              Men don't get nearly as many rape based threats because most men don't really think about getting raped let alone worry about it. (unless you are talking about prison rape.)

              Most attacks of this nature against men tend to either be focused on castration specifically or emasculation in general, because that is something that they would know would get under most men's skin in the same kind of way. I've seen those comments aplenty.

              This isn't entirely about misogyny, though that can and does play a role in a lot of this. I'd say this is mostly about people being assholes on the internet, which is old news.

              The only thing in that article that really rustled my jimmies was the lack of police response and dismissal of people concerns. Jurisdiction is becoming more and more of a problem in our global culture, and really needs to get with the times.

              Some of the statistics were worrying, but I'd need to know more about how they got that info and what it means before I can comment on it really.

              Statistics aren't exactly great on that front.
              Yeah, I've barely seen it in comparison to women. I see men insulted plenty, but I see women get death and rape threats, have seen angry groups go after women who spoke out against something or someone, and mob them, and then deal very politely on the exact same issue. Do men get verbally abused? Yes. But there is a disparity in the amount.

              But we're talking entirely in anecdotal evidence here anyways.
              hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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                #8
                Re: why the net sucks for women

                I have seen this, quite often. But, I also hang out in a number of military and veteran's groups...lots a wanna-be macho dumbasses, not a lot of sense. Dudes usually tell each other off, they usually don't threaten to "slit your bitch throat and cum down it" or, "fuck you with a sandpaper condom", or "duck tape your mouth shut, put a bag over your head, and fuck you till you bleed".

                (if you read the comments in articles about women in combat, or other women's issues in the military or women's vet issues before they get censored, you'll see them plenty)

                ETA: also on gamer posts and comments to articles
                Last edited by thalassa; 07 Jan 2014, 17:13.
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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                  #9
                  Re: why the net sucks for women

                  You've barely seen verbal abuse aimed at men? I've read entirely too many tweets and comments along that vein, at men and women both. Because that is what this is, verbal abuse, it's people who want to hurt others with their words.

                  Rape is vile, hurtful, and terrifying. That's why they use those threats, because they know it'll get the reaction they want.

                  When you are dealing with feminists, of course most of the vilest comments are going to be misogynistic... because the commenters know that those tactics will get under their skin more than anything else.

                  Men don't get nearly as many rape based threats because most men don't really think about getting raped let alone worry about it. (unless you are talking about prison rape.)

                  Most attacks of this nature against men tend to either be focused on castration specifically or emasculation in general, because that is something that they would know would get under most men's skin in the same kind of way. I've seen those comments aplenty.
                  This. It absolutely happens to men, although the specific content in the comments is different because men have different buttons to push. The difference is that, for whatever reason, men are more likely to recognize that it's just an attempt to get a rise out of them and ignore, whereas more women seem to struggle to separate internet trolling from a serious, personal threat.

                  It's pretty shitty, but they're just angry kids looking to get a rise out of people, all this talk about 'death/rape threats' as if they're actually serious just gives them what they want. The internet is the one medium of communication which the individual has absolute control over, just ignore it and they'll get bored and piss off.

                  headlessfemalepig was clearly a deranged individual with a bizarre fixation on me.
                  No, they aren't. What they clearly are is an angry individual who was offended by something you wrote and responded in the only way they could lash out back - by saying horrible things to you.

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                    #10
                    Re: why the net sucks for women

                    I've been called a bitch on-line many times. Mostly here right before a male member loses his ever loving mind and then he gets banned. I find it funny. I have thick skin and probably a lack of attention to these things. It never bothers me when a man says mean things to me on-line. Because I've been abused as a child and raped...well..words? I fluff them off. Give it to me for real or shut the fuck up with your rape banter. That's my usual response.
                    Satan is my spirit animal

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                      #11
                      Re: why the net sucks for women

                      <-- thick skin.
                      When one too many horrid things happen to you in real life, one could care less about what some jerk off says to you online. My usual response is simply "get real idiot"
                      Do I think it's OK? No! Further more I don't believe that people should learn to have thick skin, I believe that people should learn how to act decently, learn to communicate properly with others and for the love of God stop being power-lusty moronic imbeciles.
                      Also I agree that it happens to guys as well. Verbal abuse, just as physical abuse, is gender-less!

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                        #12
                        Re: why the net sucks for women

                        Originally posted by Lilium of the Valley View Post
                        <-- thick skin.
                        When one too many horrid things happen to you in real life, one could care less about what some jerk off says to you online. My usual response is simply "get real idiot"
                        Do I think it's OK? No! Further more I don't believe that people should learn to have thick skin, I believe that people should learn how to act decently, learn to communicate properly with others and for the love of God stop being power-lusty moronic imbeciles.
                        Also I agree that it happens to guys as well. Verbal abuse, just as physical abuse, is gender-less!
                        That's a good point. We have a tendency to ignore abuse when it is perpetuated against men. Men who admit to being raped are even openly laughed at by certain sectors. There's this underlying cultural notion that men should be stronger and less vulnerable than women, so when they are mistreated or exploited, it is seen as a failing on the part of the male victim, not the perpetrator.

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                          #13
                          Re: why the net sucks for women

                          Originally posted by iflewoverthecuckoosnest View Post
                          That's a good point. We have a tendency to ignore abuse when it is perpetuated against men. Men who admit to being raped are even openly laughed at by certain sectors. There's this underlying cultural notion that men should be stronger and less vulnerable than women, so when they are mistreated or exploited, it is seen as a failing on the part of the male victim, not the perpetrator.
                          I agree completely, the fact that the male victim then gets "blamed" sort of speak for being weak is horrible and has come to my ears many many times. It's just like saying "Well it was her own fault she got raped she was wearing a mini skirt"

                          If we don't accept the latter being said bout a woman being raped, than the first shouldn't be accepted either when a man gets beaten/raped/verbally abused etc. It is wrong.

                          The word victim is gender-less. The word perpetrator is gender-less. The word abuse is gender-less. Meaning they are things that could happen to any woman or any man. Meaning any man or any woman could be the perpetrator. And either way it is just as wrong.

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                            #14
                            Re: why the net sucks for women

                            Women get the rape comments. Men get the faggot comments. At least that's what I see on reddit. Day in. Day out.
                            Satan is my spirit animal

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                              #15
                              Re: why the net sucks for women

                              Originally posted by Medusa View Post
                              Men get the faggot comments.
                              Or sissy, or dickless, or wuss, or girlyman... Emasculation, because that's the biggest and most common insecurity among men. Pretty much every guy is terribly concerned about how big their dick is compared to other guys. Figuratively and literally.

                              Though people being called ugly is unisex.
                              Trust is knowing someone or something well enough to have a good idea of their motivations and character, for good or for ill. People often say trust when they mean faith.

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