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    Body Image

    I want to make this clear that this is NOT a rant at these people, but rather at the society that makes them this way.

    I've recently encountered a number of facebook posts from friends that I find deeply depressing. One is an athletic girl who is constantly bemoaning how overweight she is. Now, I haven't seen her in a while and I don't know exactly how much she weighs, but she doesn't look like she's changed since she lives here and she was a muscular girl on the low end of an average build back then.

    Another is an attractive girl who always posts about how unattractive she is.

    These are just a couple of a constant stream of friends who always bemoan how "fat" and "ugly" they are. Most of my friends are average weight and I don't think I know anyone who is hideous (if you can even define hideous...I don't think you can). They're always women. I think they mean it.

    I used to feel really bad about myself as well but I sort of snapped out of it. Now I just feel so horrified at how we all feel about ourselves. What could we accomplish if we didn't feel that way?

    #2
    Re: Body Image

    big part of this is unrealistic images of what a woman should look like. Take playboy with airbrushed pics of a woman that could never exist,or barbie with her fantasy looks.
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      #3
      Re: Body Image

      General notice to all members. The last time we had a topic related to this subject pop up in rants, we also had a clusterf*** of epic proportions and mass diplomatic failures on the part of multiple senior members. I wish to be absolutely clear ahead of time. I will kill this topic with a smile on my face and a song in my heart if I so much as imagine that history might repeat itself. If maintaing your temper within this thread is liable to be an issue then stay out of it. This is your official warning.

      You may now return to your regular programming.
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      "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

      John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

      "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

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        #4
        Re: Body Image

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          #5
          Re: Body Image

          Originally posted by Aeran View Post
          That's exactly what I was thinking. Now I know many people who have low self esteem. And they aren't constantly drawing attention to themselves for compliments. I see them working hard to be humble and to flourish in their small victories. Those people I support 100% with words of encouragement.

          But those who I know are fishing? *and what constitutes it for me? Constant calling attention to one self. I find it narcissistic. Even if it's based in 'feeling truly bad about oneself'. You still shouldn't be a narcissistic c u in the morning person. My solution? When a girl says constantly to me 'in passing' that she's just so fat, I say with a concerned face that she is indeed. And I make sure to assure her of this every single time it's pointed out to me. I ain't got time for your weakness bs. I'm trying to deal with my own without spreading it on to anyone else.

          Cruel? Harsh? Sure. But they quickly move along to someone else.
          Satan is my spirit animal

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            #6
            Re: Body Image

            I can't speak for everyone but I don't feel like it's fishing. It's never a pic followed by a comment about their appearances. Nor is it a post dedicated just to that. It's always something offhand in the comments. I really think they feel bad about themselves, and it makes me feel sad, because they're all lovely people inside and out.

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              #7
              Re: Body Image

              Originally posted by anunitu View Post
              big part of this is unrealistic images of what a woman should look like. Take playboy with airbrushed pics of a woman that could never exist,or barbie with her fantasy looks.
              I think that's a big part of it.

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                #8
                Re: Body Image

                I think another part of the problem that's an issue with body image is the mass amount of fat/skinny shaming that goes around on the internet, and even in real life.

                There was a big deal that came out about we should stop fat shaming anyone who was even remotely bigger than the stupid "ideal" that we had, and it turned around to suddenly skinny shaming smaller people with "you need to eat more, what's wrong with you don't you eat, are you anorexic/bulimic" and crap like that.

                Image issues go both ways for either being "too" skinny or fat. People of both sizes have the same issues of finding clothes that actually fit right and the media certainly doesn't help, and is a big part of the clustermess that makes it such a crap issue that people get themselves down over.

                I know I've got my own issues with my own body image, but those are due to personal issues that got in the way of stuff (Like stretch marks from gaining a lot of weight back that I'd worked forever to lose due to depression) but I'm slowly learning to get over it.
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                  #9
                  Re: Body Image

                  Originally posted by Aeran View Post
                  I don't think they are fishing for compliments. I think that these people (it occurs with men as well as women) genuinely think that they are fat, ugly, etc. Society constantly tells people that they are not good enough. Women are expected to aspire to supermodel levels of beauty, when a lot of that is photoshopped anyway, and a lot of supermodels are unhealthily skinny, starving themselves to cater to society's expectations of them. There are whole industries (the cosmetics industry is a huge one, as well as the fashion industry) that help publicize the image of the "perfect woman." And men are expected to be athletic and good-looking so they can "have a chance" with said "perfect woman." When someone says they think they are ugly or fat, it is because they have been made to believe that they are ugly or fat because of the images of people in the media.

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                    #10
                    Re: Body Image

                    Ok. Let's take fishing off the table. They have low self esteem. Are we able to actually address it though? I don't ever tell my friends they have it. But I try to encourage their strengths though. Also we want to blame Barbie. We want to blame Playboy. But deep down? We need to blame our own sex. Women are horrible with other women. We are so competitive that we tear each other up. I personally choose not to have those sort of females in my life. I don't want frenemies. This isn't MTV Real World. This is real real world. I can choose who will be my friends. I'm lucky in that. But I see so many people have 'friends' in their life who are just horrid to each other in snide sly ways.

                    As for all those skinny fashion models. Men aren't buying those clothes. Men aren't taking that mag to their teen bedroom and wanting to be like that. Women are. We are doing this to ourselves. And until we address our own self sabotage, pointing fingers outside of our sex is just a bandaid. Yes, the other part of the world doesn't help. But we really need to check our own selves first.
                    Satan is my spirit animal

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                      #11
                      Re: Body Image

                      I totally agree that other women don't help each other. I recently read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf and that's a major point she makes. She's not big on porn either (she's not anti-porn, but she had a big problem with mainstream porn as it was in the 1980s), but she points the biggest fingers at other women and especially companies, which want us to feel bad about each other so we buy stuff. That really spoke to me as a marketing major, because textbooks are filled with examples of invented "problems" created to sell products. I think it's getting bigger with men now as well (not that men are pressing it...that they're being marketed to in that way and it's affecting them more).

                      I don't know if any of that made sense. I'm really tired!

                      Edit: and by the "blaming companies" thing, I also don't mean men. Lots of women work for those companies, especially cosmetic companies.

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                        #12
                        Re: Body Image

                        Body image is all about marketing. Selling perfection, be it to buy cosmetics or watch a movie. I just quit. People don't like my body? Good for them. Doesn't effect me unless I let it.

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                          #13
                          Re: Body Image

                          Originally posted by Rowanwood View Post
                          Body image is all about marketing. Selling perfection, be it to buy cosmetics or watch a movie. I just quit. People don't like my body? Good for them. Doesn't effect me unless I let it.
                          I agree. But how did you and I get that way though? I had a craptastic childhood. I should, by all accounts and stats, be on baby 4 or drugged out or a prostitute or stripper. How did we get a good self esteem? I have no idea how except through sheer force.
                          Satan is my spirit animal

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                            #14
                            Re: Body Image

                            Originally posted by DanieMarie View Post
                            ...That really spoke to me as a marketing major, because textbooks are filled with examples of invented "problems" created to sell products. I think it's getting bigger with men now as well (not that men are pressing it...that they're being marketed to in that way and it's affecting them more).

                            I don't know if any of that made sense. I'm really tired!
                            It made sense

                            If people didn't buy it, they wouldn't be selling it. People can opt out... if they wish.

                            By the way, just because I think it's interesting, there is now a big market in selling beauty products to men in the U.S.

                            For the record, how important is a nicely plucked beard or trimmed chest hair patch, and/or manfume (perfume for men, of course) to you?

                            Are we guys now being lied to, and becoming slaves to some mysterious corporations advertising?
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                              #15
                              Re: Body Image

                              I think self esteem in those who stereotypically "shouldn't" have it comes from seeing yourself handle life, independence, and realizing the sheer stupidity of most people, hence not valuing their opinions.
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