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Guys, I have a serious problem....

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    #46
    Re: Guys, I have a serious problem....

    What you described is not dark humor. It's classic emotional abuse, classic precursers to physical abuse, and a classic reaction to being confronted that attempts to make you doubt yourself. The next step in the playbook is apologies... all sweet like and sounding as sincere as can be. Ignore it. You did so well to get this far... it doesn't sound like you'll fall for the apologies, but be prepared for them! Cut all ties, do exactly what you've told us you're going to do, and stand firm.

    If you are into energy work, it may also be worth doing some checking to ensure there are no energetic ties to him. These sorts of relationships often end up with energetic ties, which can be very insidious and difficult to rid yourself of. A very simple ritual is to tie an object that represents you and one that represents him together and empower them to represent any energetic, emotional or psychological connections between you. Then physically cut, burn, unwind or otherwise demolish the tie connecting them. I don't know if you feel that there was co-dependency issues between you, but if there were then before you cut, intend to bring all parts of yourself back first. 'Cut all ties' is not just a figure of speech lol

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      #47
      Re: Guys, I have a serious problem....

      You're right, Rae'ya. I'm realizing that the longer I stay away from his influence on my mind. The punchline of his "jokes" seemed to be consistently dominating and scaring me.

      So far, he has not tried to contact me, which I am grateful for. If he tries calling, I won't answer. If he approaches me in person, I will hide the fact that I am shitting myself and calmly tell him that I do not want to see him anymore. If he does not respect that boundary, or if he does ANYTHING to make me feel threatened, a restraining order it is. If he texts me, I'll ignore it.

      No, I've never really tried energy work before, but that sounds like a pretty simple ritual. I think I will try it, because I still do sense some sort of his residual vibes. It couldn't hurt. At the very least it would be a good psychological tool to remind myself that I'm never going back.

      I'm not too worried about weakening, though. I may have a bad track record with getting into abusive relationships, but I have an excellent track record of leaving them and never looking back. I'm taking a long time to do some serious work on myself before I try dating again. I want this to be the last abusive relationship I ever leave, because I want it to be the last one I ever have.

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        #48
        Re: Guys, I have a serious problem....

        Originally posted by iflewoverthecuckoosnest View Post
        I will definitely look into that, Gabriel. I think it will be a while before I feel completely at ease again.
        I would only recommend a handgun if you can find a place that offers specialized training in how to use it for personal defense, which involves more than just proficient shooting skills.

        There was recently a pretty good example of a reason for that in the news--an unarmed civilian got to the quarterdeck of a ship, got into a scuffle when he was refused access with one of the persons of watch (the Petty Officer of the Watch) and took her weapon, which he used to shoot and kill a military police officer responding to the scene before being shot and killed by another person on watch. Part of the qualification to be Petty Officer of the Watch is being a proficient shot--but, what they are not trained in is actually using that weapon in close quarters to repel an attacker.
        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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          #49
          Re: Guys, I have a serious problem....

          I don't know what the laws are where you are, but I'm thinking a tazer might be a good investment for you. Even if he does nothing more, the best case scenario will be that you're out a few bucks to ensure that you're protected.

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