My house is an utter dump.

[KarrinMurphy]

Right now, I'm working two jobs. 7AM to 2PM office job, and then 3PM to 10PM labor intensive grocery store job. I get home around 10:30PM, I cook dinner, and I promptly pass out on the couch around midnight. Then, I am woken up and I drag myself to bed where I sleep like a stone.

My boyfriend is getting upset, because I keep falling asleep before I've done the dinner dishes or picked up around the house-never mind sex, which is now nonexistent because I'm so worn out. I have clean laundry that's been sitting in piles on the floor for a week!

I was just in the ER and was informed that I am anemic due to hemmorhagic ovarian cysts, and also potassium deficient. I know this contributes to my lack of energy and I have made an appointment with my GP to address it, but in the meantime-what can I do to stay awake long enough to do the dishes, or maybe even have a cuddle?

I'm hesitant to try coffee, because I need to be up at 6AM, sometimes earlier.

Thanks in advance.

[Shahaku]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

I know this might not be to helpful, but getting the job situation worked out would be the best way. You need your sleep. So, either dropping a job, cutting back some hours, finding something not labor intensive for the second one. Finding something that pays more. I know. Impossible. But that would be the best solution.

Barring that, keep moving. Don't stop to eat until the dishes are cleaned, make things that you can keep warm. Also, think about taking a day off to prepare a bunch of crockpot dishes. Freeze them in freezer bags and then throw them in in the morning. Clean the dishes during the time you would be cooking. You might spend a whole day off making food to be frozen, but it'll save you in the long run.

[Jacob]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Does your boyfriend do the same hours you do? If he doesn't why can't he help out by doing some of the house stuff?

[anubisa]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

I agree with Shahaku. You can spend a day off making meals and freezing them. Or you can get frozen meals from the frozen section at the grocery. You might want to plan your meals for the week on a day off to help you.

[Gleb]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

I am with Shahaku too. It will be only repeating her words in my way, but I will say it anyway:
Yes, money is important. Paying for apartment, electricity, water, food etc'. But don't forget that you are a human being. You can't sacrifice precious hours of sleeping for this.

[LadyDorothy]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Let's revisit what Jacob said, why doesn't your boyfriend help some? Does he work the same hours?

[Medusa]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Hire some teenager to come to your place once a week or so and clean the major stuff. Like do your laundry etc. Hell, you can take your clothes to the laundromat in a bag and they do it $10 a load. Fold and fluff and you just pick up.

And what's your boyfriend's house duties consist of?

[Willow]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

I know this might not be to helpful, but getting the job situation worked out would be the best way. You need your sleep. So, either dropping a job, cutting back some hours, finding something not labor intensive for the second one. Finding something that pays more. I know. Impossible. But that would be the best solution.

Barring that, keep moving. Don't stop to eat until the dishes are cleaned, make things that you can keep warm. Also, think about taking a day off to prepare a bunch of crockpot dishes. Freeze them in freezer bags and then throw them in in the morning. Clean the dishes during the time you would be cooking. You might spend a whole day off making food to be frozen, but it'll save you in the long run.

I second this.

If at all possible, it might be worth re-assessing your budget in order to try and cut down on hours. Sometimes it's not possible, I can't speak for your own financial situation, but if it is it may be an option in order to cut back on hours by removing luxuries from the budget.

Working out chore responsibilities between you and your partner wouldn't be more than a temporary band-aid, because the fact is that if you aren't already there then you are well on your way to burning out. Take care of yourself, do what you can to keep yourself healthy and to make sure your basic needs (sleep, food, etc..) are being met. Everything else is secondary.

Keep in mind that burn-out can take years to recover from and it's in your best interest to try and combat that as much as you possibly can.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Some of my children often tell me that my house is an utter dump. I tell them that others things are more important than housework.

Don't ever become a slave to work, housework, or your boyfriend. You have a right to some quality of life. So tell him to shift his arse and help you out. Some men will tell you that they bring home the money so they're entitled to lounge around like lions the rest of the time. Not true.

Two of you working AND doing some work around the house should be plenty to keep everything going reasonably well.

[DanieMarie]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

I second what pretty much everyone else has said: you are not a robot and if you can, you should try to cut back your hours. Your lack of energy is because you are overworked (14 hours a day...I can't even imagine!) and your health problems are probably connected (I had all kinds of health issues when I was working and studying and super stressed). Go over your budget with a fine-toothed comb and see if you can make some changes

I also second the questions as to what your BF does to help. Even if he is working as many hours as you are, he should be kicking in. If you cook, he should do the dishes and vice versa. It doesn't all fall on you!

Do you have any days off?

[thalassa]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Right now, I'm working two jobs. 7AM to 2PM office job, and then 3PM to 10PM labor intensive grocery store job. I get home around 10:30PM, I cook dinner, and I promptly pass out on the couch around midnight. Then, I am woken up and I drag myself to bed where I sleep like a stone.

My boyfriend is getting upset, because I keep falling asleep before I've done the dinner dishes or picked up around the house-never mind sex, which is now nonexistent because I'm so worn out. I have clean laundry that's been sitting in piles on the floor for a week!

I can tell you what *I* would do in this situation, should my husband ever even THINK about questioning whether or not the dishes are done or the laundry is folded...and that includes when I was a stay-at-home-mom and doubly with me working full time. And that is somewhere between telling him "do it your darn self" and "don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya".

Honestly, he probably does 2/3 of the household chores...mostly because I do 2/3 of the kid stuff.

Somehow though, I don't think that is probably helpful...

I was just in the ER and was informed that I am anemic due to hemmorhagic ovarian cysts, and also potassium deficient. I know this contributes to my lack of energy and I have made an appointment with my GP to address it, but in the meantime-what can I do to stay awake long enough to do the dishes, or maybe even have a cuddle?

Nothing.

Seriously, if that is your work schedule, you need sleep more than you need to be the one cleaning. Most of the advice here is great---I'll add a few.

That is 14 hours a day--not counting commuting...that is not a healthy schedule. Unless he's also working 14 hours a day, he needs to be the one taking care of the housework, period. Cut yourself some slack.

Take vitamins, eat healthy, use your day off to prepare meals that only need to be reheated or better yet, not heated at all. Sleep. Don't cook dinner when you come home--eating that late is HORRIBLE for you...take your meals to work to eat on your break, take a snack for the commute. Eat a good breakfast--I'm willing to bet you skip it alot like most folks. Look into overnight oats or smoothies--they take minimum prep work and are easy to eat commuting and good for you.



In terms of actual housework though...simplify the steps you have to do and make a schedule.

Minimizing/Simplifying how much *stuff* you have will help--less stuff=less work for cleaning. Make sure you have a place to put things and you put them away immediately after use. Wash dishes while cooking, or before cooking the next meal. Fold the clothes as they come out of the drier and put them away immediately afterwards (better yet, if you have an in-house laundry, keep clothing storage IN the laundry room and not a bedroom). Clean the bathroom while in the bathroom (my kids clean the shower when they take a shower), etc.

[Hoho]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Cook in cast-iron and stone-wear pans(for in the oven), They never need to be washed; just need to wipe off the cast iron with a cloth and scrape the food particles off of the stonewear. Eat straight out of the dishes, then the only thing you would need to do is clean cups (or just drink out of the bottle/cup your hands under the faucet) and clean the silverwear. I can't really think of a way to get around silverwear

Also, you're working yourself to death. Literally.

[Shahaku]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Disposable silverware. Might cost a little more, but it's worth it if you are really that stressed for time.

[KarrinMurphy]

Re: My house is an utter dump.

Thanks for the feedback, y'all.

I just started these two jobs, because I was at one for six years that made me so miserable, every single day. I finally left, and I am much happier. The grocery store job is very, very good and it's a positive environment. At this point in time, I just wanted to get my foot in the door. They provide raises every six months, along with benefits and all that. I just need to be patient with the job situation. After a while, when I can pay my bills, I'll quit the other one, but I need it at the moment.

I discussed the issue with my boyfriend, who agreed to do dishes if I cook. He doesn't really do them that often, but since it's his job, he can't complain. I also looked up some crockpot recipes and freezable meal ideas so that I can spend a day off making food for the week.

Thanks again for all of your help! I'm still exhausted, but there's definitely less on my plate now.