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    Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

    I wanted to do this thread separately from the other one about the Polish mother. I wanted a place where we can talk openly and honestly without pc bullcrap and goodspeak. I was doing research on baby havens. And I come to find this thing has been going on since the middle ages.

    How come there are women out there who have absolutely no clue how contraception works? How sex works? There are women (and on this very forum) who have never looked at their vagina. I'm not judging. I'm saying that is extremely sad. YOU are responsible for your own body. YOU are the one walking around 9 months with a fetus in your belly. YOU should at least know how the hell it got there.

    I want to talk about why this information isn't happening. We teach our young so many things. Hell, boys learn how to jerk off from their dads, friends. But does anyone teach a girl how to masturbate? How to take complete and total control over her own body down to the very clitoral button?

    Women at some point. Mothers at some point are the only ones to bare the brunt of the shame of raising girls to have no iota what's going on sexually with their bodies. When do we start taking responsibiliy for that? When do we stop blaming the schools for lack of education on sex, the tvs for lack of real talk on sex?

    When do we suck up our own error in this day and year. It's NOT the middle ages.

    let's chat :=):
    Satan is my spirit animal

    #2
    Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

    My mother never told me a thing, other than some vague stuff about my period. We had medical books in the house, and it was from those that I learned the mechanics and anatomy of sex. I'd read those parts on the rare occasions when my parents left me home alone for a half hour or so. I was 15 when the whole Roe v. Wade controversy was happening, and 16 when it passed, which motivated me to educate myself about birth control for my future. This "education" consisted mostly of secretly reading the instructions on boxes of OTC foams, gels, condoms, etc., in the store when nobody was looking.

    In retrospect, I understand that my ability and determination to ferret out information on my own, was unusual. Mothers really SHOULD educate their daughters. One of the funniest movie scenes ever is in "Peggy Sue Got Married" when the mom says "You know what a penis is? Stay away from it." I never even got that much LOL
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      #3
      Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

      I think I remember picking up The Joy of Sex at the library. And when I was 13, my friend living upstairs from me got preggers. She was 15. I remember being completely shocked. She was such a 'good girl' in a very bad and abusive family. She eventually had the kid. Married the very nice father (who I knew also) and became a LAPD officer of all things!

      But I pretty much learned about sex through porn vhs tapes my brother made me return.


      (I don't count the molestation. I blanked those out completely so I don't recall 'learning' anything sexual)
      Satan is my spirit animal

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        #4
        Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

        My wife and I were just having a conversation about this not long ago.

        Here in Australia, according to her, sex-ed is pretty much everywhere - even in rural schools. These kids are learning about their bodies, sex and contraception from about 12 years old, even younger in some places. It was entirely different where I come from.

        In rural Louisiana, there was no sex-ed during the time when I was in school. I remember being in about year 6 and hearing teachers discussing bringing it in for middle school students - let me tell you, there was such an uproar and protest from the parents that they scrapped it. Parents didn't want their kids "talking about sex" in school in any way, shape or form. Mind you, this was hardcore Bible Belt Southern US in the early 90's.

        I know for a fact that the larger percentage of girls in my class (and some boys) didn't get "the talk" from their parents. This is just from conversations I remember having with other kids. They didn't know that penises went into vaginas - didn't know that penises ejaculated - thought that somehow being married would magickally make them pregnant. Literally.

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          #5
          Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

          I graduated high school back in 1978 and still recall one girl who swore you could only get pregnant from kissing. Yet any sort of penile penetration was ok and nothing could come from that in her upbringing. Even as her belly swelled with a child it was other kids in school who finally got it through her head that it wasn't kissing that got her pregnant.

          Sex education was always a delicate issue in the Virginia school system, even recently from some things I've heard and seen. A lot of it seemed it was always a by product of the Physical Education system and it lasted for a couple of weeks then you moved to drivers ed or some other class.

          Then heaven forbid a father say anything to their daughter about anything dealing with sex. Seen father's ripped apart because they shouldn't have been talking to their daughters in such a manner. I know fathers even today who will not bath their young daughters because of crap like that. Better to let them be raped or knocked up in many areas than to get accused of anything inappropriate that might have been done because you talked to them.

          Sad state of affairs for sure. Then we tend to wonder why so many son's think of women as objects and not people.
          I'm Only Responsible For What I Say Not For What Or How You Understand!

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            #6
            Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

            Originally posted by Medusa View Post
            I wanted to do this thread separately from the other one about the Polish mother. I wanted a place where we can talk openly and honestly without pc bullcrap and goodspeak. I was doing research on baby havens. And I come to find this thing has been going on since the middle ages.

            How come there are women out there who have absolutely no clue how contraception works? How sex works? There are women (and on this very forum) who have never looked at their vagina. I'm not judging. I'm saying that is extremely sad. YOU are responsible for your own body. YOU are the one walking around 9 months with a fetus in your belly. YOU should at least know how the hell it got there.

            I want to talk about why this information isn't happening. We teach our young so many things. Hell, boys learn how to jerk off from their dads, friends. But does anyone teach a girl how to masturbate? How to take complete and total control over her own body down to the very clitoral button?

            Women at some point. Mothers at some point are the only ones to bare the brunt of the shame of raising girls to have no iota what's going on sexually with their bodies. When do we start taking responsibiliy for that? When do we stop blaming the schools for lack of education on sex, the tvs for lack of real talk on sex?

            When do we suck up our own error in this day and year. It's NOT the middle ages.

            let's chat :=):
            This is a hard one for me, because in Australia, we learn sex-ed in schools, so even if parents don't teach you, you will learn it. It's just a part of life here, so it seems very alien to me that it doesn't happen elsewhere. My best friend and I broached the subject with our mums at the same time, together at her house. So her mum gave us a book to read together at the time and they told us to come ask them questions when we were done. From what I remember, that was before it started in school, or it could have been the same year... I can't really remember. But our mums were open and discussed it with us. If you ask my mum, she'll probably tell you that sex-ed at school made it easier, because we had a frame of reference to build on. When she was a kid, it was very different. One day she found the book that taught her sex-ed at my grandma's house and showed it to me... it was this little 1950's booklet that basically said congratulations, you're now a woman, here is a list of your responsibilities as a good housewife (my mother was born in the 60's, but my grandma is a prude and just gave her the same book SHE had been given as a teenager).

            My first sex-ed at school was in year five or six... at eleven or twelve. We learned about male and female bodies, about puberty, the basics of how babies were born and even a little about sexual predation. In year seven and eight we learned about sex, pregnancy, contraception, date rape, drugs and alcohol. And when I say 'sex-ed', I mean the whole year level went through several weeks of full classes, with workbooks, videos, diagrams you had to fill out, written stuff, pictures. I have memories of being in primary school and colouring in vaginas and penises and watching videos to be able to label the different parts. And that was a Catholic primary school.

            I understand why people my parents' age and older may have had some trouble teaching their kids sex-ed... because for the most part THEIR parents never told them anything, and it was still very much a taboo subject. My mum is an incredibly open, forward person, so she found a way around that to teach my sister and I some things. My dad, on the other hand, thought it was all her responsibility (either because we were girls or because he's a jerk). I do think that it's the responsibility of the parents to teach sex-ed, but at the same time I understand why so many didn't. But I do think that it is absolutely deplorable that there are teenagers and young adults NOW, in supposedly educated Western Countries, who know nothing about sex, puberty or contraception.

            I absolutely believe that it should be taught in schools. I absolutely believe that it should be taught at home (BEFORE the girl gets her first period). At least if it's standard to teach it BOTH at home and school, it will happen.

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              #7
              Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

              We had a pretty good sex ed program senior year of high school (I graduated in 1975) but it was very scientific and anatomical, like the books I'd read earlier. I don't remember any discussion of birth control, but the teacher was very nice, and encouraged us to ask her questions privately, which some kids did. One funny thing I remember was my high school bf saying you could tell if a girl was a virgin or not by how she walked. Amazing how this crap persists.

              I had girlfriends who would ask me what I knew, and we'd try to piece things together. LOL
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                #8
                Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                We had a pretty good sex ed program senior year of high school (I graduated in 1975) but it was very scientific and anatomical, like the books I'd read earlier. I don't remember any discussion of birth control, but the teacher was very nice, and encouraged us to ask her questions privately, which some kids did. One funny thing I remember was my high school bf saying you could tell if a girl was a virgin or not by how she walked. Amazing how this crap persists.

                I had girlfriends who would ask me what I knew, and we'd try to piece things together. LOL
                You know, I think that senior year is FAR too late. How old are you in senior year? Like 17 or 18? Talk about shutting the gate after the horse had bolted.

                Kids need these discussions and this education BEFORE puberty. Before the drive starts, before the need for experimentation starts, before the girls get their periods, before the guilt trips and stories about masturbating start. I didn't have sex until I was 18, but almost all of my friends had started well before that. Senior year? If we wait until senior year, we've already missed it.

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                  #9
                  Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                  I think much of it stems from our puritanical roots, especially in my country. There's this special evil that is assigned to sexuality, for some reason. We cannot just accept it as part of our basic makeup, so we try to act as though it is avoidable. Abstinence Only education operates under this philosophy.
                  I know a girl, a 21 year old girl, who once told me that she thinks she pees out of the same hole she has sex in. I had to draw a diagram in the dirt to show her otherwise. This view of "dirty" sexuality isn't doing us a lick of good. Let's get on with the screwing

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                    #10
                    Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                    Originally posted by iflewoverthecuckoosnest View Post
                    I think much of it stems from our puritanical roots, especially in my country. There's this special evil that is assigned to sexuality, for some reason. We cannot just accept it as part of our basic makeup, so we try to act as though it is avoidable. Abstinence Only education operates under this philosophy.
                    I know a girl, a 21 year old girl, who once told me that she thinks she pees out of the same hole she has sex in. I had to draw a diagram in the dirt to show her otherwise. This view of "dirty" sexuality isn't doing us a lick of good. Let's get on with the screwing
                    THIS^!

                    Down with cultural stigmas on sex!











                    And: wait! Guys learn to masturbate from their fathers and friends?? What color is the sky in your world??




                    "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

                    "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

                    "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

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                      #11
                      Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                      My dad didn't teach me how to masturbate - thanks, that was all me. Like most adults, neither of my parents wanted to have the "sex" talk with me, so I figured it out from my friends at school (I was about 8 at the time). When I was 10 or 11 I was given a book that was the equivalent of "Our Bodies, Our Selves" which taught me all about girl parts, but I knew what was important already.

                      As far as why people can't address their junk without getting weirded out? I completely and totally blame society for my hang-ups about sex.

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                        #12
                        Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                        Originally posted by Torey View Post
                        My wife and I were just having a conversation about this not long ago.

                        Here in Australia, according to her, sex-ed is pretty much everywhere - even in rural schools. These kids are learning about their bodies, sex and contraception from about 12 years old, even younger in some places. It was entirely different where I come from.

                        In rural Louisiana, there was no sex-ed during the time when I was in school. I remember being in about year 6 and hearing teachers discussing bringing it in for middle school students - let me tell you, there was such an uproar and protest from the parents that they scrapped it. Parents didn't want their kids "talking about sex" in school in any way, shape or form. Mind you, this was hardcore Bible Belt Southern US in the early 90's.

                        I know for a fact that the larger percentage of girls in my class (and some boys) didn't get "the talk" from their parents. This is just from conversations I remember having with other kids. They didn't know that penises went into vaginas - didn't know that penises ejaculated - thought that somehow being married would magickally make them pregnant. Literally.
                        Ahh the beloved bible belt of the south. Right there with you I'm from an area where we have a church on every block in Texas. Now my school did do a sex ed program however it was a 30 min video and they separated the boys from the girls and we had to get a written permission slip to see this video. After they gave each of us a plastic bag with some information and a few other things. I learned absolutely nothing in that class. My talk didn't actually come from my mother it came from my dad. He grew up in southern Illinois and theres nothing to do there but make babies. From the age of 8 my grandfather was telling him that i needed to be on birth control as soon as my period started.
                        Guess what as soon as it started I was on birth control. Daddy never once said sex was bad or wrong but he did say if I was going to do it I need protection.
                        "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                        "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

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                          #13
                          Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                          For the record, my wife had a "proper" sex talk with our son when he was about 7 years old. I had another with him when he was about 10, and sex was one of those topics that wasn't really taboo in our house - it was talked about and referred to (although the details were usually left out). My son doesn't have any weird hangups (as far as I know) about sex, other than it (you know) not being a really big deal.

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                            #14
                            Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                            Originally posted by Roknrol View Post
                            For the record, my wife had a "proper" sex talk with our son when he was about 7 years old. I had another with him when he was about 10, and sex was one of those topics that wasn't really taboo in our house - it was talked about and referred to (although the details were usually left out). My son doesn't have any weird hangups (as far as I know) about sex, other than it (you know) not being a really big deal.
                            None of us kids really did either, because my dad was realistic about it and willing to inform and teach us we were all knowledgeable about it and weren't in any great rush to have it. He took the taboo out of it which I think gave us time to grow into the idea of it. We knew what it was, how it was done, that it could be great and we knew about all the good and the bad that could come of it. He talked to us about the stds that could come from it and so forth. We were all in our late teens when we decided to have sex. Yes I know that info my sibblings are my best friends... With the exception of my youngest sister who just turned 16. Shes has never had a boyfriend. Not to say she isn't interested, its just not her priority right now.
                            "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                            "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

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                              #15
                              Re: Contraception? Who knew? Apparently not women

                              Originally posted by Rae'ya View Post
                              You know, I think that senior year is FAR too late. How old are you in senior year? Like 17 or 18? Talk about shutting the gate after the horse had bolted.

                              Kids need these discussions and this education BEFORE puberty. Before the drive starts, before the need for experimentation starts, before the girls get their periods, before the guilt trips and stories about masturbating start. I didn't have sex until I was 18, but almost all of my friends had started well before that. Senior year? If we wait until senior year, we've already missed it.
                              I was 17 senior year - They might (and should) do all that earlier these days, I don't know - but it was pretty progressive for the 70's.
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                              Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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