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    Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

    Well let's find out!

    Story:
    ~Is seven too young to be left home alone? Meet the New York mom who says it teaches children independence and responsibility
    ~Mother-of-three Lizzie Heiselt says she occasionally leaves her 'homebody' seven-year-old son at home alone for up to 45 minutes

    ~She is averse to 'helicopter parenting' - stifling kids by being too involved in their lives - and instead encourages hers to learn and do things on their own


    after school special sauce herel

    Now I'm actually on the fence but will go with don't do it. And here's why. I think there are very smart 7 year olds out there. They can do math in their heads. They can name all the presidents. They can figure out a rubix cube. They are book smarts. Now some are 'experience' smarts, for lack of a better word. I mean how much experience can you actually have at 7 if you probably can only remember to 6? They know to speed dial 911. They know to not open a door to strangers. They know to run from a fire. Not to plug in their bobby pin into an outlet (something one of the kids my mom was babysitting did while alone taking a nap!). They know how to talk to adults.

    But do they know how to deal with an emergency that requires deductive reasoning? That requires experience in what to do in that scenario. I know not to put metal into the microwave. But my brother did it at 25 because he was an idiot. Something a kid could do even though they are told not to. Does a kid know what to do if a toilet over flows and how to turn off the water at the source? Or god forbid there's an earthquake (in Southern Cali, this CAN actually happen quite often and not out of the blue like you flat land people would love to believe. Though you have those tornados. So it's a pull.

    Anyways. I might leave a 12 year old alone. But not a 7 year old. No matter how brainy mensa smart they are. That's just me. And I wouldn't be considered a helicopter parent (if I had kids) I mean I would let them play in mud just for fun.


    What say you?
    Satan is my spirit animal

    #2
    Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

    45 minutes? Possibly, especially in an era of cell phones when I know I'll be easy to reach by phone. Six hours? No.
    life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


    Comment


      #3
      Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

      I'm guessing 7 year olds now a days would be glued to the x-box 360 for a good 45 minutes. So then yes. Then again some are antsy. It takes 30 seconds to jump on the furniture and jump off with a towel draped around you because you think you are Batman and you die. Less then 45 minutes.

      I guess you have to figure out what kind of kid you have. A kid that is a vegetable. Or a kid that has a creative mind. :=I:
      Satan is my spirit animal

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

        I interact frequently with a 7 year old cousin. Yes, she's silly and yes she pulls stupid crap on occasion but she isn't generally a risk of instantly suicidal stupid. Give her explicit rules of what not to do for the time you're gone and she'll probably be okay. I've got a greater concern that she'll steal snacks I don't want her to have or make a mess and not clean up then that she'll hurt herself. If she was into instantly fatal crap then she wouldn't be allowed out of the line of sight of an adult relative and she generally has free travel inside the house or around the decent size yard as long as she tells someone which of the two she's in. I prefer for an adult or at least older kid to be around if she's over but she can survive 45 minutes unsupervised. I'm still not into a six hour plan at all but 45 minutes should be fine.
        life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

        Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

        "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

        John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

        "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

        Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


        Comment


          #5
          Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

          Originally posted by Medusa View Post
          I guess you have to figure out what kind of kid you have. A kid that is a vegetable. Or a kid that has a creative mind. :=I:
          It's that right there. How well do you know your kid? Is your kid Damien or easily influenced by social media & tv? Are they getting into trouble at school? Do they enjoy destroying things? Or are they a mousy bookworm? Are they super-friendly & likely to talk to sketchy people in windowless vans, or are they skittish? It's hard to say if 5, 6, or even 17-year olds are old enough to be left unattended. It's one of those things that can only be decided on a kid-by-kid basis.

          My parents were leaving me alone for hours when I was 5 - 6 years old. Because they knew exactly what I'd be doing during that time: reading or coloring. I could make myself a can of tomato soup on the stove (a regular ol' electric stove) or a grilled cheese sandwich, or stick a pot pie or frozen dinner in the oven for dinner. When my friends could play, we roamed the streets in a destructive little pack from yard to yard or apartment complex to apartment complex. We stayed out past dark.

          I also walked to & from school alone or maybe with a friend or two. Walked to the park alone. Walked to the convenience stores alone (and bought my parents' cigarettes). Walked to the library alone. Snuck out of the house at 3am to raid neighbors' flowerbeds - alone.

          But I wasn't the only kid I knew who was doing this - all of us had working parents, and the only ones who had babysitters were the ones who had older siblings. And usually, the kids w/brothers & sisters weren't 'babysitting', per se, they were trying to kill each other.

          My nieces? Left to their own devices at 15 and 11, they decided to steal a car & go joyriding.
          The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

            I was also a kid left to my own devices. During first grade I would walk to and from school down a large blvd all by myself. No problems. Freaked my aunt out. But I was generally left to my own devices.
            Satan is my spirit animal

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

              I don't actually remember what age my sister and I were first left home alone for extended times at. Nothing generally came of it. We were certainly staying home alone at various points by the time I was 10. Just don't remember if it was early as 7.
              life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

              Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

              "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

              John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

              "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

              Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


              Comment


                #8
                Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                My sibling and I were routinely left home alone at 7 years and upwards, although ours was purely through neglectful carelessness of our mother. We were, however, taught how to handle just about any emergency that could crop up by our grandparents throughout our childhoods - and we could both use a phone to call for help, so that was about all that was needed.

                Kids nowadays - I don't know. I can't speak for how smart or dumb or naive other people's kids are - so it's not for me to speculate what they should do. If it were MY kids - and I plan, along with my wife, to teach them life skills early - I wouldn't have an issue with leaving my 7-year-old alone for 45 minutes.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                  State law here says they have to be 13 to be left alone. Personally, I think by 6 they should be able to be by themselves for half an hour. An hour by 10 at the oldest. And by 13 they should be able to be home alone for an afternoon/evening. Long enough for a date night. 15 they should be able to do overnights and possibly weekends if they're trustable.
                  We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                  I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                  It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                  Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                  -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                  Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                    I doubt a little that leaving a 7 year old at home is good. Unless the parents hide everything dangerous like knives away, explain to the kid where the food is and so on.
                    45 minutes? Maybe, just maybe it can somehow turn out good.
                    "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



                    Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                      For short periods of time? No. For a longer period of time? Depends on the kids and the situation. If the parents are somewhere nearby (I mean the neighbours' house or something like that) and can come back at the drop of a hat, then no. But if the kids aren't very independent yet, then maybe it's still not a good idea.

                      It's not uncommon here for kids to take the subway by themselves, take care of themselves for periods of time, or go out and about alone. Still, there are lines. People would still get babysitters for longer periods of time, especially if they weren't readily available to come home. 7 is still a bit young for kids to babysit themselves for an evening or spend the day alone. People leave their 9 or 10 year olds home alone for the evening, though. I think people here are fairly sensible when it comes to when it is and isn't ok for kids to be alone, so I generally support that.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                        My neighbor has 2 daughters, ages 8 & 10. I've lived here since they were 3 & 6. The older one would have been OK, at 6, for a half hour. The younger one won't be until she's 30 LOL - nothing "wrong" with her - she's just one of those kids with a gleam in their eye, always up to something somewhat devious.
                        sigpic
                        Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                          #13
                          Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                          We occasionally leave our 7 year old at home alone for up to an hour, during daylight hours, in the afternoon/evening. We also occasionally leave her with her 5 year old brother, for up to about 15-20 minutes. And in this case, by "alone", I mean we check with our neighbor first to see if they are going to be home and don't mind being a handy and nearby adult, and the kids know they can go over there if there is a problem, and they have a phone, plus google chat, so that one of us can run over to the Wal-greens or to the 7-11 that is less than a block away... We've never been anywhere where one of us is more than 5 minutes away (for both) or 10 minutes away (for Chickadee).

                          Before we started leaving her alone at all, we practiced what to do in different scenarios--if there was a fire, if someone comes to the door, if someone tries to go through the door, if they hear strange noises, etc. We practiced calling for help--mom and dad, the neighbor, and (as a simulation, not in actuality) 9-1-1. We practiced being "home alone"--Hubby and I would go outside and walk around the block, or sit at the picnic tables and read a book.

                          A lot of it is how mature your kids are for their age, how much they follow rules even when they think someone isn't watching, and how much common sense they have, how cautious they are. If there is more than one, its also a matter of how well they get along, and how much the one that is less mature will listen to the one that is more mature. We luck out there.

                          Is there a potential for problems? Of course. But kids learn by doing far better than they do by hearing you blather on and on about something. If you don't let them do, on a small, controlled scale, then they will never learn on the big scale. We give our kids responsibility...when they show they can handle that responsibility, we praise and reward them, and they are proud of their accomplishment. If they can't handle the responsibility, we scale it back to work on the steps for the task, until they get it. The next time around, when we give them more responsibility, they are inclined to meet the challenge because the feeling of being proud of their accomplishment is its own reward. This is how life works. Sure, they will make mistakes...and then they will learn from them.
                          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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                            #14
                            Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                            Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                            My neighbor has 2 daughters, ages 8 & 10. I've lived here since they were 3 & 5. The older one would have been OK, at 6, for a half hour. The younger one won't be until she's 30 LOL - nothing "wrong" with her - she's just one of those kids with a gleam in their eye, always up to something somewhat devious.
                            (Edited to correct kids age)
                            sigpic
                            Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Is 7 too young to be left home alone?

                              Originally posted by Gleb View Post
                              I doubt a little that leaving a 7 year old at home is good. Unless the parents hide everything dangerous like knives away, explain to the kid where the food is and so on.
                              45 minutes? Maybe, just maybe it can somehow turn out good.
                              Dangerous items are only dangerous because we act like they are, and parents are so concerned about their kids being hurt that they over-emphasize the items, making them taboo. And we all know, if something is taboo it is temptation incarnate. If a kid accidentally grabs something hot, or sharp or pointy or stinger-y they'll let go of it, and they won't pick it up again (for me it was the business end of a soldering iron).

                              I shot my first gun when I was 4 or 5. With my dad, in our back yard. He showed me where he kept it, in a locked box. It was understood that I never touch it when he was not home, and that I never tell anyone else where it was. But it wasn't a big, scary taboo. I knew what it was, where it was, how it looked, sounded and basic safety precautions that had to be followed. My dad took all the mystery out of 'dangerous' items. I gutted & scaled fish with a formidable fishing knife. I shot guns. I learned to start fires and cook over open flames as well as electric ones. I used power tools. But, I obeyed the rules and didn't bother breaking them because when my dad & I were messing around in the garage, or out hunting/fishing, it was something we could do together.

                              Yes, I got cut, burned, fell off of things, fell into things, got impaled with fishing hooks, bitten & stung by animals & insects, and managed to cut one of my fingers completely off (it was successfully reattached, and I don't know where the scar is anymore)... but I never did anything truly stupid twice. I have a lot of confidence now, and I'm pretty handy around the house and in the kitchen. My husband, who was a sheltered child w/parents who would do most things for him because they'd get impatient and irritated by his fumbling around, is afraid to do so many things because the implied risks outweigh any benefit to him. And he's like Mr. Safety, too - everything comes with a verbal warning label.
                              The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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