Your daughter can't come back to school

[Medusa]

Till she comes back as a her original boy self.

The facts: (cues People's Court intro)
~Mother's anger after school tells her 13-year-old transgender daughter that she isn't welcome back after summer vacation unless she returns as a boy

~Rachel Pepe has been told by Thorne Middle School in New Jersey that she will only be allowed back as Brian


Over the summer Brian transitioned to Rachel with the help of her parents. She wants to go back to school now. School says no go.

Rachel Pepe transitioned to a girl over the summer, but Thorne Middle School in Middletown has said that they want her to return as a teenage boy and that they will address her as Brian, the name on her birth certificate.
Thorne Middle School is also demanding that Pepe dress as a boy and claims it doesn't have the resources to provide bathroom facilities for her.

middle school cafeteria sauce

The school claims it cannot accommodate transgender children. Let the kid use the bathroom in the Principal's office. There is always one there. No biggy. Plus tell the students don't be douches. If they are? Well that's middle school. They are going to bully you over your shoes, your hair color and your love of My Little Pony. Accommodate that.

What say you?

[Heka]

They wouldn't be able to do that in Australia. We have programs to address LGBTI children, and as part of the SHine SA program I teach is to ask students which toilet Trans kids would use. The generally accepted answer is 'which ever toilet they prefer to use'.

That school is an arsehole.

[LunarHarvest]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

What's so difficult about letting a girl use the girl's toilet?

It so surprising to me what some people, organisations, schools, et cetera get away with. Let us hope that, since it is now being distributed through the media, and therefore more than likely than not also through social media, that the pressure will cause them to give in. Until then I would hope that the people and government in the States will come out against this.

[Doc_Holliday]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

No worries, the outcry from the people should fix this soon enough. Although I hope the girl decides to go to another school just to shame them, they don't deserve to have diversity if they don't understand the value of it.

[ThorsSon]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

No worries, the outcry from the people should fix this soon enough. Although I hope the girl decides to go to another school just to shame them, they don't deserve to have diversity if they don't understand the value of it.

You underestimate the faux-religiosity of Americans... This school will (1) get the support of the public, (2) be defeated in court, (3) submit to the court order, (4) receive backlash from the public, and (5) be back to their unconstitutional ways in short order... they may even skip steps 3 & 4.

[Torey]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

I'm a little surprised, unfortunately. Backwards-thinking is the norm in the Deep South, but I honestly didn't expect this to come from a NJ school.

[thalassa]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

I'm a little surprised, unfortunately. Backwards-thinking is the norm in the Deep South, but I honestly didn't expect this to come from a NJ school.

This doesn't surprise me at all...there is still a tendency in the US to be uncomfortable with transgendered persons, even if there is more acceptance of homosexuality. And NJ isn't all that liberal anyhow.

The school claims it cannot accommodate transgender children. Let the kid use the bathroom in the Principal's office. There is always one there. No biggy. Plus tell the students don't be douches. If they are? Well that's middle school. They are going to bully you over your shoes, your hair color and your love of My Little Pony. Accommodate that.

What say you?

Part of the problem is that too many people here aren't well educated on the topics of gender and sexuality. And that sort of educational campaign takes time. Lets be honest here--schools aren't set up to handle the politicization that this brings to them (and if people think this sucks, desegregation was worse). Yes, schools should absolutely be able to accept and accomodate this student (any student)--to ensure their safety, their emotional growth, their education. But this isn't a just or perfect world. The vast majority of the public in vast swathes of this country aren't ready for this...and its the public in this country that elects school boards, and unfortunately our system is structured in such away that those elected school boards set school policy and hire (and fire) school administrators.

Either way, I'm not sure that legally they can claim that they cannot accommodate transgender children (or maybe I should say that they can try, but I don't think they can meet the burden of proof a legal challenge would take)...and if they can legitimately claim this, then I'm pretty sure that legally they have to find and pay for appropriate placement for the student and family. One way to guarantee they have to do something is to request an IEP.

For example, I have a child with ADHD...he has an IEP, under the listed under the criteria "other impairment" because he doesn't have a learning disability, physical disability, emotional or behavioral disability, etc. Instead, he has problems with social interaction and executive functioning. If I had a child that was transgender that I insisted should go to public school (knowing how school systems work), I'd file for an IEP on the basis of (according to the story) depression (which is an emotional disability if, in this case, the kid is having panic attacks and its affecting their school work)...and part of the IEP would be that they are accomodated as the gender they identify as....also, a parent can request things like counseling, etc. In reality, if I had a child that was transgender and we didn't live in the sort of school district that was going to work with us we would a) move or b) homeschool.

[Rae'ya]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

In reality, if I had a child that was transgender and we didn't live in the sort of school district that was going to work with us we would a) move or b) homeschool.

This.

Even if the school DID change their tune, I'm sorry but I am not entrusting them with the welfare of my child. She's better off elsewhere. The fact that this is an issue for the school simply creates a situation where there is focus on her. She's just transitioned... the LAST thing she needs is to be the special trans kid who has to go to the toilet in the principle's office and get all these special considerations. That sets her apart from her peers and draws attention to the fact that she wasn't born in a female body. She needs to be somewhere where she's just treated as a girl, because that is what she is.

[anunitu]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

A lot of this has to do with the state of the laws. As with all LGBT issues the laws are all over the place. It has only been a few years where they got rid of the defense of marriage act,that was a federal statute. Lots of states had same sex marriage bans in place. Things are changing BUT until there is a federal law against
discrimination on ALL levels,and even then some states and local areas will still try to circumvent even those laws. As Thal said,education and the understanding about human rights in general become common and excepted we will have these attempts to stay in the "good old days" mentality. I think there will always be problems until the next generation comes into power,and even then it might rear its head again somewhere.

[Ula]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

Public schools are just that, public they can't tell a kid they can't come unless there has been some sort of safe schools thing that the kid was expelled for and they have hearings for those.

[Gleb]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

What's so difficult about letting a girl use the girl's toilet?

It so surprising to me what some people, organisations, schools, et cetera get away with. Let us hope that, since it is now being distributed through the media, and therefore more than likely than not also through social media, that the pressure will cause them to give in. Until then I would hope that the people and government in the States will come out against this.

Seconded. The administration of that school seems to have only a******* within itself.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

I agree that the school is pretty jerky.

I don't know what would happen here, to be honest. Germany recently allowed people to choose neither sex/gender (the German word is the same for both words, btw) for their passports and ID and I -think- people are allowed to choose the other one if they're trans, but don't quote me on that one. Still, Germany can be a pretty conservative country, so it's hard to say what a school would do. I suppose that a Berlin school would be very supportive (because it's Berlin), but I'm not sure what a school in Stuttgart (or somewhere rural) would do.

In British Columbia there has been some news about this lately. The Vancouver district recently stood in support of trans kids. I think it's getting more supportive over there.

[Heka]

I agree that the school is pretty jerky.

I don't know what would happen here, to be honest. Germany recently allowed people to choose neither sex/gender (the German word is the same for both words, btw) for their passports and ID and I -think- people are allowed to choose the other one if they're trans, but don't quote me on that one. Still, Germany can be a pretty conservative country, so it's hard to say what a school would do. I suppose that a Berlin school would be very supportive (because it's Berlin), but I'm not sure what a school in Stuttgart (or somewhere rural) would do.

In British Columbia there has been some news about this lately. The Vancouver district recently stood in support of trans kids. I think it's getting more supportive over there.

Its nice to see South Australia being so liberal in this case. Its seriously been discussed and taught in public schools for ages.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

Its nice to see South Australia being so liberal in this case. Its seriously been discussed and taught in public schools for ages.

That's fantastic!

[loststarshine]

Re: Your daughter can't come back to school

If it was my child i would of picked a new school after they transgendered even if the facility was welcoming kids are cruel.