Passing over and death

[LillieNeko]

Hi everyone, I hope I'm posting in the right section. I'm having a crisis (or a few related ones), that I think I know logically aren't true, but emotions are clouding my judgement. I euthanised my beloved kitty this morning. She was a senior kitty and has been having senior-related health issues, but nothing that made me decide to euthanise her. She had a bit of an issue this past week but she was coming out of it. But, last night, she developed respiratory distress and I chose to euthanise her since she wasn't going to come out of it and be the kitty she was.

Yesterday, we bought a betta fish, and I had this thought that probably sprung from an idea of replacement (when people buy a cat when the family cat has passed on). This thought was that bringing a soul into the house means that another has to leave. But I mean, it's a fish and a cat. I've bought fish before without an issue, and I wonder if I only thought it because for the past week I've been trying to assess my cat's quality of life and decide if I should euthanise her or not. Please just tell me that that was my overactive mind and not a warning meaning that I'm responsible for my cat's death.

Also, after she started getting a bit better, we were optimistic and bought her some different food to tempt her, set up her living area to be safer for her. Did our optimism have any effect on anything, do you think?

Yesterday, she had one of the best days she had in a while. Which made me get my hopes up that she is going to be with me for a bit longer. I was giving her attention and she was just rubbing up against my hand, quite a lot. Looking back, I wonder if this is her saying goodbye? It was almost exactly 12 hours later that she went into respiratory distress.

Thank you.

[anunitu]

Re: Passing over and death

We do need to understand that when any living creature is in great pain and suffering,we must be strong enough to let go. It is not that our loved one has passed on into a peaceful place that bothers us so much,BUT that they have left US,the living without their presence,so really we morn for ourselves. Just me but I would feel I was not honoring the departed creature if I did not rejoice that they were at peace and with no pain ever again. This is just my take on these things,but then I myself being 67 am a bit closer to the understanding of death.

[Munin-Hugin]

Re: Passing over and death

LillieNeko, I'm so very sorry for your loss. As Anunitu had said, part of loving is knowing when it's time to let go, and being strong enough to do so. You did the right thing, and I'm sure that your kitty had a wonderful last day, one that I'm sure you'll remember for a long time. And yeah, it's painful, but in time it will pass, leaving only the good memories behind.

I'm going to post a link here that came to mind while reading this. It's very touching, and sad, but it's also full of hope.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/14/dog-last-day-robyn-arouty_n_5585074.html

Hang in there, and know that you did the best you could for your kitty, and that she knew that, too.

[Threshold]

Re: Passing over and death

Love and hugs, it's so hard, and we are never ready to say goodbye to a friend.

I wouldn't at all be surprised if your cat "rallied" for a good last day, a sweet loving goodbye, and even a thank you for all you've done for her.

Rather than worry you were responsible for her death, I feel quite certain that without the loving care you have provided her life would have been much shorter, and perhaps more pain filled.

I expect your colorful betta will always be a reminder of your kitty's dancing soul.

Years ago we put to rest a house bunny we had, for a few years he "visited" us, I would hear the tapping of his nails on the floor, and would SEE him stretched out under the Christmas tree that he was always certain we put up just for him!

[LillieNeko]

Re: Passing over and death

Thank you for your replies, and kind words, they make me feel so much better about things. Yes, I think she might have rallied one last time so her final few days were not spent struggling to stand and not eating. My little girl was a survivor, there are many times one of her nine lives were taken. I think my kitty is still here in spirit, trotting around the house like she used to.
Thank you all again.

[Praven]

Re: Passing over and death

Shame your kitty left you

[Willow]

Re: Passing over and death

We went through that a bit recently as well. One of our cats (19 years old-ish) had been clearly slowing down over the last few years we had her. She had arthritis, she wasn't eating as much as she used to, mostly she just slept and lied still for petting and brushing. She was still kicking, she probably could have lived a year longer, but we knew she was ready and that it was only going to get more painful for her. The hardest part in the end wasn't that she was able to shed that aged shell, but because I couldn't go home to her sleeping on the couch like she had been for nearly 2 decades of my life.

But we knew it was time, and she knew it was time too.

You shouldn't beat yourself up about it, it's a hard decision to make no matter what the circumstances. But if you feel that the quality of life was deteriorating (it sounds like this was the case), then you made a sound decision.

[LillieNeko]

Re: Passing over and death

Thank you guys for the replies and support. Your kitty, Ljubezen, sounds a little like mine did, before she went into respiratory distress. My kitty sure loved getting attention, it was her favourite thing even as a young girl. I hope that she was ready to go.