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Thread: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

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    Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    As a non-christian I am not sure how I feel after seeing her in the coffin and as the only member of my family to speak besides the reverend. I felt very odd and strange after the reverend stated that she would be watching me , this bothered me a lot I am not sure what to think or feel I just haven't been myself after this. Also this was the first funeral I have ever attended in my life I am 21 years old if it helps. Has anyone else had any such experience or advice ?

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    How did she say it? Like I'm watching you evil glare. Or I'm watching you kindly gonna keep an eye on you.
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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    No the reverend said her last regret was not seeing me graduate from college etc and that she was watching us from heaven i donr believe that but it was unsettling i apolofgize for spelling mistakes im incredibly drunk right now .

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    This might be a dumb question but I'll ask anyway. Did she mean she the reverend would be watching you or you departed grandmother?
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith View Post
    As a non-christian I am not sure how I feel after seeing her in the coffin and as the only member of my family to speak besides the reverend. I felt very odd and strange after the reverend stated that she would be watching me , this bothered me a lot I am not sure what to think or feel I just haven't been myself after this. Also this was the first funeral I have ever attended in my life I am 21 years old if it helps. Has anyone else had any such experience or advice ?
    Usually when (most) Christians state things like your departed loved one will be "watching you", it's intended to be comforting - because, from their perspective, she is in Heaven and will be able to see you from above (i.e. - watch over you, care for you, watch you as you journey along your life's path).

    I've been to far too many funerals - all of them were Christian funerals. My experiences varied depending upon how I felt about the deceased. I've seen preachers preach Hellfire and brimstone and talk about all of the "sins" of the deceased which was utterly despicable.

    But it's confronting, no doubt. Especially if you were close to your grandmother.

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Was it more unsettling seeing her in her coffin or thinking that she could be possibly watching you? I think it was meant as encouragement. That even though she wasn't with you any more she could still see all that you accomplish.

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    What Torey said.
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

    "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Torey View Post
    Usually when (most) Christians state things like your departed loved one will be "watching you", it's intended to be comforting - because, from their perspective, she is in Heaven and will be able to see you from above (i.e. - watch over you, care for you, watch you as you journey along your life's path).

    I've been to far too many funerals - all of them were Christian funerals. My experiences varied depending upon how I felt about the deceased. I've seen preachers preach Hellfire and brimstone and talk about all of the "sins" of the deceased which was utterly despicable.

    But it's confronting, no doubt. Especially if you were close to your grandmother.
    I don't think I've ever seen a hellfire and brimstone funeral. Pretty sure that would end in pain for someone. My family has its issues but some poor outsider of a preacher talking hellfire and brimstone when we're gathered to mourn one of our own...

    The man better be really well liked by some Power because he may be needing them shortly
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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by kalynraye View Post
    Was it more unsettling seeing her in her coffin or thinking that she could be possibly watching you? I think it was meant as encouragement. That even though she wasn't with you any more she could still see all that you accomplish.

    - - - Updated - - -

    What Torey said.

    Both watching me and seeing a dead body for the first time in my life event thugh morbid things dont bother me tv shows/movies death metal art etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Torey View Post
    Usually when (most) Christians state things like your departed loved one will be "watching you", it's intended to be comforting - because, from their perspective, she is in Heaven and will be able to see you from above (i.e. - watch over you, care for you, watch you as you journey along your life's path).

    I've been to far too many funerals - all of them were Christian funerals. My experiences varied depending upon how I felt about the deceased. I've seen preachers preach Hellfire and brimstone and talk about all of the "sins" of the deceased which was utterly despicable.

    But it's confronting, no doubt. Especially if you were close to your grandmother.
    I suppose that is what they were aiming for although no one in my family knows that I am not a christian except my parents who suspect that I am just a skeptic or an atheist. Im just not sure where to go on this feeling you know its just weird.

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith View Post
    Both watching me and seeing a dead body for the first time in my life event thugh morbid things dont bother me tv shows/movies death metal art etc.
    Yes but actually seeing someone you love laying there is very different then seeing stuff on tv and reading about it. You are actually effected by this. This is really happening to you. Its not an easy thing to loose someone close to you. Its hard but the words the reverend said were meant for comfort.

    Also I agree with MO, we are crazy protective of our kin. We might not get along and we might run our mouths about them but no one else gets to do it. Especially if they are no longer here to defend themselves. Though I would like to see a hellfire and brimstone funereal. I have been to many Sunday services of it but never a funereal. The baptist love hellfire and brimstone services.
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

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    Re: Just went to my Grandmothers funeral not sure how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith View Post
    Both watching me and seeing a dead body for the first time in my life event thugh morbid things dont bother me tv shows/movies death metal art etc.

    - - - Updated - - -



    I suppose that is what they were aiming for although no one in my family knows that I am not a christian except my parents who suspect that I am just a skeptic or an atheist. Im just not sure where to go on this feeling you know its just weird.
    Seeing a dead body is perfectly normal to feel weird about, no matter how peaceful it was, and no matter how much gore you can take in art. It's never real until you're there. In the long run, having seen the person dead can ease the pain of letting them go (this is from personal experience, I was 12 the first time I saw a dead person). But perhaps most importantly you've just lost your grandmother, mourning and feeling strange is ok, normal. A funeral can sometimes make the realisation hit harder... I'm sorry for your loss
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