A "traditional" funeral often includes several elements. A person is typically embalmed. There's a visitation where family comes to say goodbye and get that last look at their loved one. There is usually a funeral service that includes music, readings, a eulogy, and symbolism. There is typically a graveside committal where loved ones physically say goodbye in some way. Some place flowers in or on the grave, other take turns shoveling, etc. And there is typically some sort of gathering afterwards.
Each of these elements has a purpose. They contribute to this hierarchy of needs that we have to have met to complete the grieving process. Accepting the reality of the death, recalling our loved one, finding support from our community, expressing our feeling for the deceased, finding meaning in their life and death, and transcending the experience.
More and more people are going the route of direct cremation, and I can totally understand why. It's much more affordable, it's the only option that a lot of county assistance programs offer (if one is even available where you live), and sometimes people feel like they're cheating the funeral home instead of the funeral home cheating them. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with cremation and avoiding the funeral home so long as you're making an effort to heal your grief and get those needs met in some other way.
There are other options starting to pop up.
Green burial is starting to rise. And so are death doulas. These movements encourage the family to hold visitations and services in their homes and to run them themselves. Even if that means everyone is uncomfortably packed together for a time. They teach people how to care for their own dead and provide the items or resources to find what they need to do so. And many states allow a family to set up a family cemetery on their own land, which could go on to serve your family for generations. Learning what your local laws are is really important.
Green burial cemeteries are also a rising thing. They provide a place for a person to be buried naturally, outside of a tomb, typically in a shroud, but sometimes in an alternative biodegradable container or urn if they chose to be cremated.
Those who have chosen to be cremated can have their ashes feed a tree and thus become a tree. You can also have your ashes spread in space for something like $2500. And many people are choosing to have their loved ones ashes mixed into glass trinkets.
When it comes to planning for your own death, I think it's important to remember those left behind. Almost everyone I know says they just want to be cremated, and not to do anything else. But that takes away from the time and support that the family gets through having some sort of funeral service.
So, all of that being said. If you could go all out, what would you want your funeral to look like? Or if that's too personal, if you had to run a funeral for someone in your faith, what would you want it to look like? What traditions or rites would you pull from? What music would you want included? What quotes or readings? Would you want any symbols (like a pentagram, etc) placed with you? Are you a part of any military or fraternal organizations? Would you want an aspect of that included in your funeral or not?
Each of these elements has a purpose. They contribute to this hierarchy of needs that we have to have met to complete the grieving process. Accepting the reality of the death, recalling our loved one, finding support from our community, expressing our feeling for the deceased, finding meaning in their life and death, and transcending the experience.
More and more people are going the route of direct cremation, and I can totally understand why. It's much more affordable, it's the only option that a lot of county assistance programs offer (if one is even available where you live), and sometimes people feel like they're cheating the funeral home instead of the funeral home cheating them. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with cremation and avoiding the funeral home so long as you're making an effort to heal your grief and get those needs met in some other way.
There are other options starting to pop up.
Green burial is starting to rise. And so are death doulas. These movements encourage the family to hold visitations and services in their homes and to run them themselves. Even if that means everyone is uncomfortably packed together for a time. They teach people how to care for their own dead and provide the items or resources to find what they need to do so. And many states allow a family to set up a family cemetery on their own land, which could go on to serve your family for generations. Learning what your local laws are is really important.
Green burial cemeteries are also a rising thing. They provide a place for a person to be buried naturally, outside of a tomb, typically in a shroud, but sometimes in an alternative biodegradable container or urn if they chose to be cremated.
Those who have chosen to be cremated can have their ashes feed a tree and thus become a tree. You can also have your ashes spread in space for something like $2500. And many people are choosing to have their loved ones ashes mixed into glass trinkets.
When it comes to planning for your own death, I think it's important to remember those left behind. Almost everyone I know says they just want to be cremated, and not to do anything else. But that takes away from the time and support that the family gets through having some sort of funeral service.
So, all of that being said. If you could go all out, what would you want your funeral to look like? Or if that's too personal, if you had to run a funeral for someone in your faith, what would you want it to look like? What traditions or rites would you pull from? What music would you want included? What quotes or readings? Would you want any symbols (like a pentagram, etc) placed with you? Are you a part of any military or fraternal organizations? Would you want an aspect of that included in your funeral or not?
Comment