Reactions to your "coming out"

[Nerá]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I came out to one of my work buddies tonight, and the reaction I got is the reason I am terrified of telling people about my beliefs. I figured he would be the most understanding but he acted he was trying to put me down. He just kept asking questions like "Do you believe in God? What do you think happens when you die? Do you believe in heaven and hell?" which I expect people to have questions and I answered all of them truthfully. But the way he asked them was very.....snarky.

I wish I didn't care so much about what people think.

[wisp]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I came out to one of my work buddies tonight, and the reaction I got is the reason I am terrified of telling people about my beliefs. I figured he would be the most understanding but he acted he was trying to put me down. He just kept asking questions like "Do you believe in God? What do you think happens when you die? Do you believe in heaven and hell?" which I expect people to have questions and I answered all of them truthfully. But the way he asked them was very.....snarky.

I wish I didn't care so much about what people think.

I have some friends who get that way. They call me 'New Age' in one of those insulting tones even though they do it with a smile. I try to explain it's not quite accurate, but when their eyes glaze over I just sort of give up. Spiritual beliefs are often a touchy subject, especially when you don't subscribe to one of the major, more accepted belief systems. If you have confidence in it, though, people tend to stop being as..amused? by it and less questioning.

[PsykhikosAnarchosNautikos]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I learned to shut out certain types of people for that very reason. I grew up in the martial arts and still practice quite a bit and when I first started teaching some friends, I had people ask at dinner parties (parent people) what my hobbies are and what I did for a living. I told them I was into music, they genuinely responded, "Ah, that's cool, what kind?" I told them I like to read, again, they kindly responded, "Oh, what kind of books?" (I told the truth, but not the whole truth- I think I was reading a book on Satanism or occultism at the time, so I said 'philosophy' or 'alternative religion'), then I told them I practiced and taught martial arts... the conversation ended with a funky look on their part and them just, "Oh... that's nice..." And I thought we were in the age of understanding...

Anyway, it's a let down when people seem to judge you for things that you find such beauty and passion in but they can't seem to lift their filter that 'martial arts is not a real career' or 'pagans run around naked, have sex with everyone they know and practice Satanic Death magic!' My favorite is when ignorant people call Wicca satanic... seriously?

[Kahlenda]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I cant really say ive had much of a problem. i made my desicison and im confident and happy in it, if i tell people now aday,s including the Squadrons Padre people dont even bother me about it. ummm thinking back to when i first started dabbling in magic as a kid, i know my grandma and mum both already believed in magic, so i was told to be careful what i was messing with, but i was never given the devil speech. no adays ive done several protective or banishment spells for my grandma. the only real bad energy thrown my way is when my brother takes the piss out of my "creepy magic voodoo shit"

[Nerá]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

Something I just realized....people were more accepting when I said I was atheist than when I say I'm pagan. How sad is that?

It's like, "oh, you don't have faith in anything? That's totally cool. Oh, you do have some sort of spiritual faith? Well, they're not the same as mine, so you're kind of weird."

I don't judge people because they have different spiritual beliefs than I do. Good for them. They found something that fulfills them and makes them strive to be a better person. But when the tables are turned, the people that do have (non-mainstream) religious beliefs are going to be looked down on more so than people that don't.....

Sorry. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

In retrospect I have a hard time relating to people who ask about coming out of the broom closet so to speak. In part because i've never been in one and my interest and idea's have always been known to family and friends. Factor in that for me it was initially identified as occult things vice pagan or heathen so those tags never really applied.

I do not wear jewelry or such as it was a hazard to at my job on the fire dept and rescue squad. In the military it was simply not allowed for the most part so I never used it as an identifier. Books, cards and many of the other accruments of a pagan pathway were always in plain sight so we didn't try to hide them. Yet we also didn't go out of our way to push it in someones face or concern ourselves about what they though of us.

Though part of that might also be due to the fact this was the late 70's and early 80's and most things were still satanic influenced with the rabid belief that we sacrificed babies and virgins. Occultism was seen as something different than paganism or witchcraft at the time.

[Clive]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

Nobody in my family really cared. A few asked questions, but most of my family never really said anything about it. Most of my family are generic Christians on my mom's side, as far as I know most of my dad's side is Baptist; I haven't discussed religion with Pop's side.

I had to show my mom that Wicca wasn't evil, but that was easy; just had to show how Wicca differed from Satanism. My grandmother didn't like me saying I didn't believe in the Bible, but we never discussed it extensively. An uncle once typed angrily to me, "THERE IS NO GOD BUT JESUS CHRIST." But again, it wasn't discussed any further.

None of my friends really cared, except for one girl in high school who was uber-Christian. But even then, we were able to discuss different ideas amicably. I've been Pagan since I was 14, so every friend I've made since high school has known. Most of the people I know are atheist, the "I believe in God in a spiritual, nonreligious way" type, or Christian. I get a few questions here and there, that's about it.

My dads don't know anything at all about Paganism, but Pop has expressed interest in learning what I believe. Papa doesn't seem to care at all.

[arcticluna]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I've never been in the closet. Over the years I have become acquainted with several people who I would have liked to have become friends with, but they were unable to respect me as I am so I cut ties with them. I don't expect people to believe exactly the same stuff as I do, but I do expect a level of respect and if people are incapable of giving that then they have no place in my life.

For me it doesn't have anything to do with lack of respect, just the feeling of trespassing some intimate limit that I have. On some things I'm very open about things, while other things are just very private. I can at times be very private in general. For example: I think most people at work know I'm LGBTQ (even though I rarely speak about it), but very few know that I have a girlfriend. Not that it is a secret (far from it), but it's private.

Did that make sense?

[Dyani]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

I haven't told anyone yet. My mother is coming to visit next month and I'm still deciding if I should keep my altar out along with my books or if I should tuck them away and save my reveal for a later time.

My mother is incredibly intelligent and has ways of twisting words with little to no effort, so I have to be very guarded and grounded in my faith and know exactly what to say. At this point, I feel like I'd just fumble over my words. I know I shouldn't have to justify my faith to my family, but I just don't want to put up with her little jabs and comments the rest of my life without being able to defend myself.

[wisp]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

As many have said, it's a private matter, so if you aren't ready to share with your mother then you're just not ready. is your altar out in a main room? You could potentially just move it to your room for the visit, if so.

[Willow]

[TomBom1337]

Re: Reactions to your "coming out"

My mother was the first person I told, as shes a Reiki Master Teacher and also a Psychic Medium, so shes very open to this sort of stuff. I even let her look through the books i'm researching. She's lovingly supportive as always.

My father just calls me a freak, and has ever since i got into spirituality. Apparently if you're anything but a godless alcoholic, you're a freak in his books. lol.

I told a friend, she passively accepted it.

I haven't really told anyone else... at this point there isn't much need to. I don't really have any friends or a girlfriend that come over that would see the altar, so I don't need to explain myself about it... so why go out there pounding my drum about it you know? I hope that's sound logic. It's a lot more special if I just tell the people closest to me, and let it be mine.