Re: Comeing out of the closet
I can appreciate the beauty of women, but I'd never get with one. It won't work. I tried to become straight. Didn't work.
I went to a friends house, and my brother told my mother that friend was gay. While out, my mom called my cell phone to tell me she's worried he'd rape me because he's gay. I got home later on, and my mom asked me, "you aren't gay are you?" and referenced my going to a gay guy's house. I had the hugest crush on him (after what he did, I no longer have such good feelings for him), so I blushed. At that point, I figured that if I said no, I wouldn't be believed. So I said that yeah I was.
At first, there was shock and disbelieve. My mother figured I was joking, so nothing was said for a few days. A few days, then a week went by, and my mother realized, I never said I was joking like she expected. She said "you're not gay" often. She said stuff about how gay guys really were, and that I couldn't be one of them. Eventually she realized, yeah, Matt/Spartacandream is gay. Then everything went downhill, and my relationship with my mother (already sparred from other things) basically went out the window.
At the moment, things are fine. We live in a small trailer, but we don't speak to eachother, we just avoid eachother. Mainly because she says stuff to me and treats me like crap. She's depressed and doesn't even want to look at me.
There is light though. I've got friends to help me through, and they've been crucial. I thank them so much for being there for me. They're seeing me through these really really hard times.
I can appreciate the beauty of women, but I'd never get with one. It won't work. I tried to become straight. Didn't work.
I went to a friends house, and my brother told my mother that friend was gay. While out, my mom called my cell phone to tell me she's worried he'd rape me because he's gay. I got home later on, and my mom asked me, "you aren't gay are you?" and referenced my going to a gay guy's house. I had the hugest crush on him (after what he did, I no longer have such good feelings for him), so I blushed. At that point, I figured that if I said no, I wouldn't be believed. So I said that yeah I was.
At first, there was shock and disbelieve. My mother figured I was joking, so nothing was said for a few days. A few days, then a week went by, and my mother realized, I never said I was joking like she expected. She said "you're not gay" often. She said stuff about how gay guys really were, and that I couldn't be one of them. Eventually she realized, yeah, Matt/Spartacandream is gay. Then everything went downhill, and my relationship with my mother (already sparred from other things) basically went out the window.
At the moment, things are fine. We live in a small trailer, but we don't speak to eachother, we just avoid eachother. Mainly because she says stuff to me and treats me like crap. She's depressed and doesn't even want to look at me.
There is light though. I've got friends to help me through, and they've been crucial. I thank them so much for being there for me. They're seeing me through these really really hard times.
on the whole i would prefer to be out even dealing with some hasseling then to bother hiding it. (also my private thought that gays are simply better probably has something to do with that)
Comment