Putting my daughter to bed last night...

[LiadanWillows]

Re: Putting my daughter to bed last night...

What I was taught as a little girl (and by "little" I mean elementary school) is that his body died, but his spirit is still alive. He can be seen, but only when we go to heaven. Otherwise he is someone who is felt. I don't know if that helps you in any way...

This is how I was taught too.

[calfhill]

Re: Putting my daughter to bed last night...

As long as your little one understands that all paths are valid, she'll be ok. It is really difficult to deal with those who will tell her that she will go to hell if she's not this, or that. Those of us who have a little better understanding know that NO ONE is going to the Judea/Christian hell. If MIL is a Mormon, that shouldn't be too difficult. Mormons don't believe you go to Hell just because you're not a Christian.

[Dez]

Re: Putting my daughter to bed last night...

As long as your little one understands that all paths are valid, she'll be ok. It is really difficult to deal with those who will tell her that she will go to hell if she's not this, or that. Those of us who have a little better understanding know that NO ONE is going to the Judea/Christian hell. If MIL is a Mormon, that shouldn't be too difficult. Mormons don't believe you go to Hell just because you're not a Christian.

True...this is a situation, though, where it's good that I proceed with caution. MIL has "lost" two out of her four children so far...one is gay, and the other is secular. Each time, there has been massive drama, medical problems, and emotional breakdown. She has placed enormous amounts of pressure on her remaining children to "stay faithful" and "raise their children the right way". Once it becomes perfectly clear that we are leaving the church, and she has only had a 25% success rate, after all her hard work and sacrifice trying to fit mormon standards for being a wife and mother, all hell will break loose. Chances are, she will try even harder to pressure our kids, and "make up" for us ending up in Outer Darkness because we left as temple-worthy members(her interpretation of the status of her other children, not mine).

I've decided that if it blows up, I will make it clear that I refuse to engage on that topic, even leaving if I have to, however, I will not pull away entirely. My kids have had them in their lives for as long as they can remember, and despite their problems, they're very loving grandparents, while my parents want nothing to do with my children. They can only pick a fight, though, if I take the bait, and I'm not biting.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: Putting my daughter to bed last night...

Problems with parents - especially when they aren't your own - can be very unpleasant. You're probobly right - your best bet is to ry to stay out of the conflict as much as possible. I find that there are times when the best defense against pressure is to just nod and smile, then ignore the whole thing. A fight can only be a fight when two (or more) people are trying to win. Master Lao says:

Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.

The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.

Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.

True words seem paradoxical.

[Medusa]

Re: Putting my daughter to bed last night...

Problems with parents - especially when they aren't your own - can be very unpleasant. You're probobly right - your best bet is to ry to stay out of the conflict as much as possible. I find that there are times when the best defense against pressure is to just nod and smile, then ignore the whole thing. A fight can only be a fight when two (or more) people are trying to win. Master Lao says:

Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.

The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.

Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.

True words seem paradoxical.