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    #1

    Cyberbullying

    There is so much in the news about cyberbullying lately - movies about it, too - it really makes me wonder: Don't these researchers, etc., realize that it's only an extension of things that have always gone on? When I was in 5th grade we had "Slam Books" - a notebook passed around class in which girls would write what they thought of other girls. Reading these sometimes nasty remarks led to emotional scars, no different than if they were typed.
    Yes, I know that online, more people can see it - but is that really the issue? Or are kids more hurt by what is said by people they know and thought they could trust? Is the internet possibly helping by drawing more attention to this age-old problem, and finally getting parents/faculty involved?
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    #2
    Re: Cyberbullying

    I think it's an indication that, (at least in developed nations with internet access), we are moving away from an emphasis on physical friendships to a greater acceptance of long-distance electronic ones. Problems people have with socialization and relationships in real life tend to be magnified in an online, electronic setting because it's harder to determine context and tone, and it's easier to hide behind the anonymity of the computer screen. In other words, if someone (be it a school-age bully with computer access, an obnoxious coworker, a horrible neighbor or just some generic troll) is a dick in real life, they are probably going to be a bigger dick online because their targets cannot physically fight back and there are few serious consequences for their actions. It goes both ways, too - someone who has difficulty reading and interpreting body language, facial expressions, understanding sarcasm or the difference between light teasing and genuine threats is probably going to take everything said to them online the wrong way.

    As far as parental involvement, a couple of the more well-known instances (Jessi (Slaughter) Leonhardt or Megan Meier) have shown that parents can make a situation worse almost instantly. I remember from going to school that one of the worst things a kid could do for their social circumstances was to be a tattle-tale. It's important for parents to recognize the difference between a little recess rough-housing and constant harassment or abuse - as much in their kids' everyday lives as in their kids' online lives.
    The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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      #3
      Re: Cyberbullying

      I think the problem with cyberbullying though is that it can really go viral. We had nasty comments and notes and stuff in my school too but as I got older and the internet got bigger, stuff had the potential to go to other schools and even the next town over VERY quickly. And I didn't even go to school in the era of facebook, texting and twitter! Anyway, having seen it a bit of both ways and also seeing some of my younger cousins' posts on facebook, I think it's definitely different problem than in the past.

      Also, like perzephone said, people are going to take it further online. They can hide behind handles and private messages.

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        #4
        Re: Cyberbullying

        I agree that it spreads faster, etc., but the remarks hurt just the same. I remember girls who were very depressed and talking of suicide back in the days of the handwritten note. No one really paid attention to it then. Perhaps the way things are magnified today will somehow help the issue by drawing more attention to it.
        One can hope....
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        Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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          #5
          Re: Cyberbullying

          Hopefully.

          I guess it depends on how sensitive you are in the first place too. Teenage self-esteem is so fragile. I'm sometimes worried about some of the things I hear though. Like really the spreading causes total social alienation sometimes. Think of that girl that sexted her picture and it spread everywhere. yes, she did something extremely stupid. But in the past if she'd given a nude photo to a boyfriend and he photocopied and distributed it, it wouldn't have followed her still when she changed schools.

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            #6
            Re: Cyberbullying

            No one has privacy anymore - it's sad, really. When I was a teenager we used to have to wait for the next monthly issue of 16 magazine, or Tiger Beat, to get any news about David Cassidy or whoever. Political scandal took a long time to surface. Now it seems like everyone's every move is everywhere. I'm not sure whether this is social evolution or dissolution.
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              #7
              Re: Cyberbullying

              It's not that no one has privacy any more - it's that people, intentionally or unintentionally, give it away. It's up to an individual to decide how much of themselves they want to give away. In high school, if a girl went and had sex with a guy, he might laugh it up with his friends the next day - who then told their girlfriends, who told their friends, and eventually it would get back to the original girl who would either grin & bear it or be completely humiliated & then decide maybe she wouldn't have sex w/any of her class mates. But usually there was no 'media' involved to distribute.

              People see these things happen on youtube, facebook, myspace, and in the news, but they still put themselves out there, online, on film, in photos. Some kids are probably sheltered or too young to fully comprehend just how big the internet world is (like Rebecca Black - she is what, 13? She got a lot of knocks for the cute little song & video that her parents gave her for her birthday - she took the criticism well & is apparently putting out more videos), but others who participate in social media should know better. Adults fall into the trap just as easily as kids do, due to that 'oh, that could never happen to me!' factor. If so-called responsible adults think, 'oh, it could never happen to me', they're passing that same message to their kids.

              I think it may also be a case that there is bullying all the time, all over the place, and always has been, and it's been handled in one way or another, but we hear more about it now because of the proliferation of the media. Just like crime rates in the US actually going down over the past 50 years but seems like it's going up because we hear more about it on the news.

              It may seem that I have a nonchalant attitude about bullying when it happens, but I don't. I went through a lot of it in elementary and high school. I do think parents and caregivers (including teachers & admin staff at schools & community centers & what-not) should pay attention to their kids. But, at some point in a person's life you have to learn how to stand up for yourself. The first time someone intimidates you - be it with an unkind joke, a mean prank or something like trying to get you fired, if you're always protected and sheltered, or people prevent you from dealing with the situation yourself & take over, you're not going to be able to handle the bully. You're either going to become a doormat - or over-react. I got past always being the victim and in high school actually became a bully, which wasn't any better, but at least no one caused trouble for me anymore. My husband was highly sheltered & never allowed to react to bullies (much less develop a normal social life) in his grade-school years - and now he is a social retard. He can't interact with people who aren't threatening him and his first instinct when someone intimidates him is to pick up a gun whether the situation warrants it or not.
              The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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                #8
                Re: Cyberbullying

                What I hate about cyber bullying is the caliber of bullies. They aren't bullies at all. Just opportunists with a fear of people. I want my bully to smash me in the face directly. Not over a few typed keystrokes. A bully should get their own hands dirty if you ask me.

                Ahh..the good ol' days.
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                  #9
                  Re: Cyberbullying

                  Originally posted by Medusa View Post
                  What I hate about cyber bullying is the caliber of bullies. They aren't bullies at all. Just opportunists with a fear of people. I want my bully to smash me in the face directly. Not over a few typed keystrokes. A bully should get their own hands dirty if you ask me.

                  Ahh..the good ol' days.
                  This.

                  I'm seen as a bully online from time to time. Why? Because electronically, tone and meaning do not carry over very easily, and the publicity of internet bullying has only made it worse. If you comment on someone's status on Facebook, and they do not like it, then you're "harassing" them.
                  "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." - Khalil Gibran

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                    #10
                    Re: Cyberbullying

                    Originally posted by Simon Slade View Post
                    This.
                    Because electronically, tone and meaning do not carry over very easily, and the publicity of internet bullying has only made it worse. If you comment on someone's status on Facebook, and they do not like it, then you're "harassing" them.
                    This is where I disagree, but I look at it from a literary approach. There are certain cues that lead to a reasonable conclusion. Now if these cues are being taught is another thing.

                    But I'm also the type of person that doesn't mind comments I don't like as long as they're not just insulting a person. But I guess that falls under the "comments people don't like" category
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                      #11
                      Re: Cyberbullying

                      Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                      No one has privacy anymore - it's sad, really. When I was a teenager we used to have to wait for the next monthly issue of 16 magazine, or Tiger Beat, to get any news about David Cassidy or whoever. Political scandal took a long time to surface. Now it seems like everyone's every move is everywhere. I'm not sure whether this is social evolution or dissolution.
                      I'm gonna second Perze here to a degree. Granted, if a person is unwise enough to grant their full name (and the state they live in just to be nice) to random people on the net there is a significant amount of data available to any determined searcher but it doesn't become insane unless you are in the public eye for some reason (I strongly advise you not to be unless it gets you a particularly good paycheck) or you are careless with how much information you post in strange places.

                      Your name is normally enough to get a background check if I either want to pay people or (because I'm a cheap bum) news articles regarding you, an address and depending on the state your criminal records* if you've got any. Most of the non-public record data that shows up on social media sites, embarrassing photos, details of your daily life, all the miscellaneous crap does not get on the internet by magic. It's there because either

                      1) a person has made a choice (knowing or otherwise) to give up some of their privacy by posting information on the net

                      or

                      2) a person has questionable choice in friends and their friends post crap about them without consent

                      Avoid those mistakes and you keep about 70% of the privacy that modern society is trying so desperately to throw away for fun and profit. Make one of your priorities in life "I shall never stand in front of a judge for anything!" and you also keep the amount of public records with your name attached limited. That option can complicate life so most people are better off just controlling how much they post about themselves and avoiding showing up as part of a criminal proceeding.

                      * if I don't have reason to believe that a person has lived in multiple states then when I start pulling up court documents it will only be for the states that I know they've been in. Someone who actually does such searches for a living will probably be more thorough. Also some states don't have particularly easy to reach online court records. I know two states where I can pull non-sealed/expunged/etc court records off the net in under an hour and one that is not so helpful.
                      Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

                      Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

                      "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

                      John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

                      "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

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                        #12
                        Re: Cyberbullying

                        Before 9/11, I was so deep underground I couldn't even find myself. I used a PO Box for everything - it was even on my drivers license. No agency, credit card, etc., had my street address. I had 2 landline phones - 1 had the ringer off and was hooked into an answering machine. That's the one I gave out when asked. The other was my "real" number, for friends, etc.
                        Now I get mail at my physical address, and that's the end of it, for physical privacy. For internet privacy, I don't broadcast too much info but I'm not obsessed with it. I have been bullied on message boards - one person who knew what kind of pet I had, posted pics of a dead one, repeatedly. Some people are just evil-minded.
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                          #13
                          Re: Cyberbullying

                          My standard of obsession is what you put in play to hide from a government. Right now, I'm merely not forthcoming with the vast majority of personal info. That said, there are some truly pathetic examples of humanity running around. That trick with photos is pointless sadism.
                          Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

                          Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

                          "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

                          John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

                          "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

                          Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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                            #14
                            Re: Cyberbullying

                            Originally posted by MaskedOne View Post
                            My standard of obsession is what you put in play to hide from a government. Right now, I'm merely not forthcoming with the vast majority of personal info. That said, there are some truly pathetic examples of humanity running around. That trick with photos is pointless sadism.
                            My "undergroundedness" began as a reaction to being stalked by an ex. (Back then, the police didn't help.) That person who posted the dead pet photos is a serious, vicious troll who is still around that message board community. It's funny now, as an observing non-participant, to see who they fool into thinking they're a nice person. The whole scene would make a great Psychology/Sociology paper. It's interesting to see who trusts whom and why. That was the first message board community I joined that wasn't oriented toward either a specific subject or a specific group (like this one is), and I'll never join anything like that again.
                            I guess kids get drawn into things like that and don't yet have the social skills to determine who's for real and who isn't. I personally don't think they should be allowed to "friend" (on Facebook, etc.) anyone they don't know in real life. Sometimes the people you know are bad enough, you don't need strangers in the mix!
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                            Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                              #15
                              Re: Cyberbullying

                              I have nothing to prove and nothing to hide, and therefore exist in the middle realm of being myself on the net (without problem for some 20 years of my life) and not being a idiot enough to allow electronic copies of things I would not want in public.
                              Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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