Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

[Djnn]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

I just found someone that runs a local group around here too. I messaged him. Im anxious and very excited all at the same time.

[RainbowDemonic]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Awesome! Let us know how it goes.

[Djnn]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

That I shalt <3

[Djnn]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Well my bf and I had a nice chat with two of the people from this coven that I had found from meetup.com. It was a rather interesting conversation that we had. But something was very off about it. I understand the poking and prodding and testing strengths of new people around you. But I also know when things go to far. When my guardians speak up, when I feel nauseated and light headed I know something is not right. I pulled a card from my tarot deck during our conversation and it was one that eluded to Veils of confusion, spying, elegant speech. So that was a dead on sign that what ever I was experiencing was up to no good. On one hand I have no desire to go meet them , practice with them etc... They just seem so dark. Spider to the fly kind of welcoming.
I am unsure if this is just my apprehensiveness of being new and exploring this new path or if it is genuine. But even if it is I feel like I should meet with them, meet with this coven a few times. Learn a few things whether I need to stick around or not. I believe everyone has something they can teach you and why should this be any different. But something about these two disturbed my spirit as well as my BF's.
I am not sure what to do at the moment. A huge part of me wants me to feel them out further, endure their prodding. Im not easily manipulated as many are.
Does anyone have an insight to this?

[Dez]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

If something was that seriously "off", don't play with fire

Just my $.02

[RainbowDemonic]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Well my bf and I had a nice chat with two of the people from this coven that I had found from meetup.com. It was a rather interesting conversation that we had. But something was very off about it. I understand the poking and prodding and testing strengths of new people around you. But I also know when things go to far. When my guardians speak up, when I feel nauseated and light headed I know something is not right. I pulled a card from my tarot deck during our conversation and it was one that eluded to Veils of confusion, spying, elegant speech. So that was a dead on sign that what ever I was experiencing was up to no good. On one hand I have no desire to go meet them , practice with them etc... They just seem so dark. Spider to the fly kind of welcoming.
I am unsure if this is just my apprehensiveness of being new and exploring this new path or if it is genuine. But even if it is I feel like I should meet with them, meet with this coven a few times. Learn a few things whether I need to stick around or not. I believe everyone has something they can teach you and why should this be any different. But something about these two disturbed my spirit as well as my BF's.
I am not sure what to do at the moment. A huge part of me wants me to feel them out further, endure their prodding. Im not easily manipulated as many are.
Does anyone have an insight to this?

I've seen this more times than I can even count anymore, LOL. Among us pagans and especially among those of us who are seriously into magicks and energy work or whatever, it's very guarded - and there's a lot of claws and teeth that come out when a new person comes around. It could be many things. Just a few examples:

1. They could be nervous about new people because they themselves have had terrible experiences with others they've met. Gunshy, and making sure you're not going to bring trouble with you - especially if you mentioned Christ, they might be afraid you're more Christian than pagan and there to 'convert' them.
2. They could be the types who think they're super awesome because of their abilities, the kind who try to flex their metaphysical muscles every chance they get and have a superiority complex about it all - and think your brain is just another to pick and prod and mess with for their amusement. I've come across a lot of these predatory types and frankly, I ask them politely to cease (they often play innocent with a twinkle in their eye when you confront them about it, not used to people knowing what they're doing), warn them, and if they continue to be hostile, I shove energy at them like a hammer to the head - and with enough headaches they realize it's not a good idea to do that to me.
3. They could be 'dark' in the way they operate or for lack of better word their 'aura', but generally benign, and their curiosity might make you feel as though your spirit's invaded by a strange darkness when they don't mean to do that. Hubby has this happen a lot to him - he doesn't mean to harm anyone but sometimes 'gifted' people who first meet him think he's "evil" or "dark" when he's generally harmless. I get mixed reactions - some people sense "a bright light" and others "something dark/unsettling", and I'm generally pretty laid back. Even if they have a seemingly "dark" feel about them, it doesn't always mean they're bad people.
4. They might be energy workers who suck at what they do and pull energy from those around them without meaning to.
5. They might be one of those "psy-vampire" types who pull energy on purpose.
6. Maybe they had a really bad day and their aura was all angry-hurty and you got caught in the crossfire.
...and a lot more.

There's a lot of things it could be. What I WILL say is - if you felt light headed, nauseated, etc. that is kind of sucky, but not uncommon at all. Try to shield up if you decide to go around them again and figure out whether they're actually crappy people or just a little bit dark by initial appearance - and being the way I am, I tend to recommend a sound smack on the head (energy-wise) if they keep being total douchebags about it.

I tend to take it with a huge grain of salt when someone with a much more light-ish feel about them such as yourself says things like "They seem so dark!" - simply because of how often I've heard those words said about people I knew to be very laid back people uninterested in hurting anyone, myself included. But that's just me. There are a whole host of reasons you might have felt that way, only some of which would be active hostility.

Just my opinion. It's up to you and your bf what you guys want to do, and I wasn't exactly there or anything, so I'm just a bystander talking from my experiences, lol

[Djnn]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Now that I have slept on it, things seem a bit lighter. All night I just felt that heavy energy about. My bf is no where near as sensative of things as I am, but I watched as he had become overly protective of me. I have seen this side of him, he didn't know he had it. The two others had spoke of being psy-vamps when they are angry. I did speak of my christian backing and we discussed many of what my believes were to which they seem to agree with or simply to understand. Im a passive person. So my aggression tends to be in a very passive manner. And I was able to do that. When I felt them prodding I spoke up about it. When I felt the oddity of it all, I played up my lack knowledge and down played my strength. When I started this the feelings I had were stronger. One of them was more than nice, the other seemed more... odd. lol.

The two were lovers. lol I will go ahead and get put that out there. The most guarded one didn't share his real name, only the magick named he adapted to himself. We chatted on Skype, and it took some time before he even showed a picture for me. Both of them seem... broken to me. Like they need someone to open up to and mend them. But most people who can "see" me see that I am capable of doing this, and I have had people play up this a lot. Trying to get me closer.

My bf and I decided he would keep our distance. Continue our conversations over skype or facebook for now. See what happens exactly. I know the evasive one was flexing, and I flexed right back. So I know he is very much aware of me to some degree. If things stay this way or make me feel worse, then I will count my losses and move in. But I think there is a chance that they are just very intune with what they can do, and the strength in which they were investigate was strong and just alarmed myself, as would be normal.

[RainbowDemonic]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Now that I have slept on it, things seem a bit lighter. All night I just felt that heavy energy about. My bf is no where near as sensative of things as I am, but I watched as he had become overly protective of me. I have seen this side of him, he didn't know he had it. The two others had spoke of being psy-vamps when they are angry. I did speak of my christian backing and we discussed many of what my believes were to which they seem to agree with or simply to understand. Im a passive person. So my aggression tends to be in a very passive manner. And I was able to do that. When I felt them prodding I spoke up about it. When I felt the oddity of it all, I played up my lack knowledge and down played my strength. When I started this the feelings I had were stronger. One of them was more than nice, the other seemed more... odd. lol.

The two were lovers. lol I will go ahead and get put that out there. The most guarded one didn't share his real name, only the magick named he adapted to himself. We chatted on Skype, and it took some time before he even showed a picture for me. Both of them seem... broken to me. Like they need someone to open up to and mend them. But most people who can "see" me see that I am capable of doing this, and I have had people play up this a lot. Trying to get me closer.

My bf and I decided he would keep our distance. Continue our conversations over skype or facebook for now. See what happens exactly. I know the evasive one was flexing, and I flexed right back. So I know he is very much aware of me to some degree. If things stay this way or make me feel worse, then I will count my losses and move in. But I think there is a chance that they are just very intune with what they can do, and the strength in which they were investigate was strong and just alarmed myself, as would be normal.

I take it back. Having heard that, they do sound like douchebags. :XD:

I mean really. Only telling you his super special name? How utterly stupid. Don't get me wrong, I have names of significance like that and I know others with them too - but that's a personal thing. Sounds like he was caught up in how awesome he thinks he is and thought he'd wave it in your face.

[Djnn]

Re: Confusion... Inner struggle. Insight greatly Appreciated

Funny thing is... a lot of he tried to do to me was Cold-Reading. And I was calling him out on it. And forced him out of his shell to show some of his ability. I even pulled a Tarot. One that showed lies, deciet and veils of confusion. I slapped that in HIS face. haha. Its the other one I feel I can learn from. But the other one... just annoys me. Im older and he started calling me little one as well. I mean sure I understand you feel entitled to be elder to me for your time in the craft but to belittle is not a pagan way at all