California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

[RiverSong]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

This disturbs me on all kinds of levels, personally. I wonder if people should be re-educated to learn the courses we had in high-school about "date rape" and "no means no", instead of this sick game of "let's blame the victim for our sexual disfunction!" u_u

[B. de Corbin]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

This disturbs me on all kinds of levels, personally. I wonder if people should be re-educated to learn the courses we had in high-school about "date rape" and "no means no", instead of this sick game of "let's blame the victim for our sexual disfunction!" u_u

Well, remember that this was one guy, and he was universally condemned for it.

[thalassa]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

Well, remember that this was one guy, and he was universally condemned for it.

The problem is that its not one guy with the opinion, its one guy that was dumb enough to openly express the opinion and was important enough that the media reported it. In which case...there's been a few too many of this one guy lately (Todd Aiken of Missouri, Richard Mourdock of Indiana). And unfortunately, this one guy is a reoccurring conservative meme that has been around for quite some time, and that we (as a society) seem unable to move beyond.

I've worked as an advocate for sexual assault victims while I was in the Navy, and I've taught the "no means no" and "what is sexual assult" classes...and I'm sorry to say that this isn't an unusual or rare opinion and belief that people are actually TAUGHT--in their families and even in their churches...that truly chaste and virtuous women can't be raped. And by default, that if you can be raped, you must have wanted it.

[ChainLightning]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

The problem is that its not one guy with the opinion, its one guy that was dumb enough to openly express the opinion and was important enough that the media reported it. In which case...there's been a few too many of this one guy lately (Todd Aiken of Missouri, Richard Mourdock of Indiana). And unfortunately, this one guy is a reoccurring conservative meme that has been around for quite some time, and that we (as a society) seem unable to move beyond.

I've worked as an advocate for sexual assault victims while I was in the Navy, and I've taught the "no means no" and "what is sexual assult" classes...and I'm sorry to say that this isn't an unusual or rare opinion and belief that people are actually TAUGHT--in their families and even in their churches...that truly chaste and virtuous women can't be raped. And by default, that if you can be raped, you must have wanted it.

That. Is the sad reality.

One guy is one too many. But this one guy isn't alone. I don't think I'd be so damn cynical of the human race if there weren't so many bigots and idiots around and abound. Decency often seems so seriously outnumbered. Very sad!

I'm going to go hide under my blankets and take a nap. Maybe the world will correct itself whilst I'm 'away'.

[RiverSong]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

That. Is the sad reality.

One guy is one too many. But this one guy isn't alone. I don't think I'd be so damn cynical of the human race if there weren't so many bigots and idiots around and abound. Decency often seems so seriously outnumbered. Very sad!

I'm going to go hide under my blankets and take a nap. Maybe the world will correct itself whilst I'm 'away'.

Yeah! I was gonna say, it isn't just one guy. I wish it were, but no this judge's kind of thinking is rampant. And hey, Chain, I'm just as cynical about the world too. So, I hear you on that! LOL!
I literally do hide from the world, hoping it will correct itself someday. I have social anxiety and agoraphobia so I only leave my house once a month, if that. I reach out on the internet for socialization and I keep up with the news and events of the outside world via news sites. And you know what... I wish to get out more and be a part of the world, only because it's a very isolating life I have here, to be so afraid of the outside world that I've created a comfortable prison for myself here, but the more I read the more harder it is for me to approach my front door. My friends and family keep shouting to me, "you should get out more!" and I keep responded, "Go out there to be in THAT???" o_o
I don't think I'm being crazy in choosing to be a hermit.

[Maria de Luna]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

That. Is the sad reality.

One guy is one too many. But this one guy isn't alone. I don't think I'd be so damn cynical of the human race if there weren't so many bigots and idiots around and abound. Decency often seems so seriously outnumbered. Very sad!

I'm going to go hide under my blankets and take a nap. Maybe the world will correct itself whilst I'm 'away'.

If it were just one guy we could all talk about how dumb and un educated and stupid he is, and how this poor woman just happened to get the wrong judge. But it is not just one and he is not alone, and this poor woman is not the only person suffering because of ignorance and bigotry. This man actually told her, that what she called rape was belittling to actual rape, that being forced to preform sexual acts at the threat of violence was somehow not as horrible, as being beaten to it. If it was just one man, we could shoot him when he was not looking and be done with it, but it is not just one man, or even just a few men. It is a whole culture of ignorance which strives to blame the victim.

[RiverSong]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

If it were just one guy we could all talk about how dumb and un educated and stupid he is, and how this poor woman just happened to get the wrong judge. But it is not just one and he is not alone, and this poor woman is not the only person suffering because of ignorance and bigotry. This man actually told her, that what she called rape was belittling to actual rape, that being forced to preform sexual acts at the threat of violence was somehow not as horrible, as being beaten to it. If it was just one man, we could shoot him when he was not looking and be done with it, but it is not just one man, or even just a few men. It is a whole culture of ignorance which strives to blame the victim.

LOL! "if it was just one man, we could shoot him when he was not looking"! I needed that laugh today, I really did. Hugs, Maria! ^_^
Even though, I'm not for gun violence (but I do like the idea of rounding up criminals and putting them on their own island, and rounding up bigots and putting them on another separate island), that is true... if it was just one guy, just one jerk, or just one jackass the world would be a much better place. But the sad reality is that there is an equal amount of assholes to match the amount of people who are not in this world. Some say there are more assholes than none, but that's debatable in my mind. We could be outnumbered by the stupid people, who knows! But wow, what a scarier thought that is. o_o
From experience, I do know well about how the victim is often blamed and causing a victim to become one twice over. It's horrible. And I don't understand why this judge hasn't lost his job, already. A good talking to and finger wagging towards him doesn't seem like justice to me. u_u

[B. de Corbin]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

Well, I don't particularly feel like spending my life in fear and loathing.

Maybe that's why I find it better to note that this judge was censured - by pretty much everybody - than to keep repeating that there are more people like this hiding in the woodwork and behind the garbage cans.

Most people are not willing to accept this kind of thing any more.

I call that good.

[Maria de Luna]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

He is still sitting the bench though according to the article. It took them this long to have an issue with something he said 2 years ago too. Things may be changing, but not in any quick or very meaningful way. There are some that sit in positions of authority and are even psychologists or even doctors in the military who feel the same way, and no one is censuring them.

[RiverSong]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

Well, I don't particularly feel like spending my life in fear and loathing.

Maybe that's why I find it better to note that this judge was censured - by pretty much everybody - than to keep repeating that there are more people like this hiding in the woodwork and behind the garbage cans.

Most people are not willing to accept this kind of thing any more.

I call that good.

Oh, I think it's a good thing that you don't spend your life in fear. I would never suggest such a thing! It's not rosy for me that I do. ;^_^

And it's a good thing that most people will view this judge as a huge butt that he is too. I'm not arguing against that!

However, in my experiences this judge's ideas and what he said to the victim isn't new or so uncommonly outrageous. In fact, way before politics picked up this banter, it was being uttered a lot around me. What makes this judge so outrageous is the fact that he is maybe the first person in authority to utter this garbage publicly, is all. And it's disturbing because we often believe that people who are in charge over society's well being and safety wouldn't be so bigoted or stupid in such an important role. We would hope not, but people are people in spite of their careers, so even those in authority can be so very wrong too just like anyone else. Doesn't make it right, though. >_>

Anyway, I don't agree with you (if you don't mind) about it being people hiding in the woodwork or behind garbage cans, because they're really not hiding it anymore... not for a few years now. People are more out and out about this, agreeing with and endorsing these same ideas as the judge, more commonly on Facebook and Twitter. Or in any comments left on new articles about rape. And in person, I've heard ideas like this spoken by not lone crazies who live in a cabin alone in the woods somewhere, but actual working grown men, who pay their taxes, go to church, and have their own families and a wife. And surprisingly from women too! One man I once knew, he screamed at me five years ago on a forum, "A woman can't get raped unless she wants it! My wife, daughters, and sisters wouldn't be caught in rape! They know how to fight back and wouldn't allow it! Women who are rapped are just lambs, not fighting back, and really wanted it. Then regretted it later and yelled 'rape' to justify their mistake!" Needless to say, I blocked the hell out of that guy, not before I gave some choice words to him first. ;^_^
I would love to believe that it's isolated and to a few, it would make my life so much easier if I could. But I've seen and heard too much in my environment over the years. Maybe I desperately need a new environment? Maybe it wouldn't be so open anywhere else? Maybe I would fair better in another country? I'm not sure, probably. u_u
But yes, there are many like the judge and they're bold about it.

[ChainLightning]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

Well, I don't particularly feel like spending my life in fear and loathing.

Maybe that's why I find it better to note that this judge was censured - by pretty much everybody - than to keep repeating that there are more people like this hiding in the woodwork and behind the garbage cans.

Most people are not willing to accept this kind of thing any more.

I call that good.

This is true. I think it would be better, yet, if there were even less jerkwads, like said judge.

I'm content in the knowledge that *I* know better than to believe as he. I'm also eager to help point out the flaws in his thinking. And to call attention to the fact that the issue, that he inadvertently(?) raised, is not dead and gone but alive and kicking.




I concede that there's also the squeaky wheel syndrome, here.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

Things may be changing, but not in any quick or very meaningful way.

I'm over 50 years old. I remember things from 40+ years ago.

Things have changed - a lot - and in very meaningful ways.

[Maria de Luna]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

I'm over 50 years old. I remember things from 40+ years ago.

Things have changed - a lot - and in very meaningful ways.

40 years is not quick by any realistic stretch of the imagination... but I will admit things have changed, just not for everyone....

[B. de Corbin]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

40 years is not quick by any realistic stretch of the imagination... but I will admit things have changed, just not for everyone....

When you look at how deeply entrenched some things were, and how different they are now, 40 years to bring about those changes is a very, very short time - that's IMHO, of course.

[Maria de Luna]

Re: California judge says victims' body can prevent rape

When you look at how deeply entrenched some things were, and how different they are now, 40 years to bring about those changes is a very, very short time - that's IMHO, of course.

Many of these changes have not begun in certain parts of the country and cultures within it. so it is only happening in some places... These people do not hide in the woodwork, they are in places where they can prevent change, and make victims lives more difficult for speaking out. The changes haven't even begun for many people even in this country...