Mother daughter relationships

[thalassa]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

and because she see's them like some doll. She desires and wants it when she can't have it but once she has it doesn't want to be bothered unless she wants to play with them.

This wording....I see this a lot--in fathers with their son's as well. And in mothers with their sons, and fathers with daughters, though those seem to be less often.

I call it puppy syndrome. Like....puppies are cute and cuddly, but also work. And its easy to bring a puppy home, but its harder to care for it everyday. People do this with relationships too--they don't want the world of being in a relationship--they want the idea of it, they don't want the work of being a parent and loving that child as the individual. Or, they try to project all their failures and shortcomings on their kid, and make them the perfect person that no one can be...

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

This wording....I see this a lot--in fathers with their son's as well. And in mothers with their sons, and fathers with daughters, though those seem to be less often.

I call it puppy syndrome. Like....puppies are cute and cuddly, but also work. And its easy to bring a puppy home, but its harder to care for it everyday. People do this with relationships too--they don't want the world of being in a relationship--they want the idea of it, they don't want the work of being a parent and loving that child as the individual. Or, they try to project all their failures and shortcomings on their kid, and make them the perfect person that no one can be...

Oh I wouldn't disagree at all that it occurs across the board and via various situations. I hate to say it but know I am guilty of it on occasions with my own son's though I tried to do as best I could which I think all of us probably fall into one time or another. Sometimes it's life (job, responsibility, accountability, etc) that gets in the way, other times I think it each of us as individuals that gets in the way of being a family, couple or relationship.

IN many ways I think very much a situation of Anima / Animus and projecting upon an outside person our own ills and hatreds.

[Medusa]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

Let me clear the air and all of assumptions going on in this thread.
1. I know better then to continue dragging down a thread with personal jabs. It just gets threads locked. That's no fun.
2. I stated MONSTER MADE A POINT. And yeah. I actually meant it. It was an odd aside and it became more interesting to me then whatever it was we were talking about to begin with.
3. Being here long enough, people here know my situation with my mother and the long journey I went with her until her death last year. People who really know me, know that journey started out when I was very very young and my issues with her. So I actually wanted to see if my assumptions of mother/daughter relationships were more accurate then Monster's.
4. I have never ever been passive aggressive. I'm aggressive aggressive.
5. Let's be real here. That Thot dude and Monster? No need to remember their screen names. I just refer to them as Red Ensign #1 and #2. Just waiting to land on the planet. Well you know the rest.

Please continue with the topic of mother/daughter.

I want to add my relationship with my mother was mother/daughter but flipped. I pretty much raised myself morally and otherwise. I had to look after my mother as my daughter for many years. And the last few years I was raising a 13 year old fancy brat. And I miss her dearly.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

For anyone who has mother-daughter relationship issues but isn't posting here, there is/was a brilliant book called 'When you and your mother can't be friends.'

Even after all these years, it still opened my eyes to a lot of what was going on under the surface.

I don't so much miss my mother as feel deeply sorry for her. She missed out on so much fun.

[neráida]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

I had a pretty good relationship with my mother. She wasn't much of a disciplinarian, but she raised me with a pretty good head on my shoulders, and as I got older, trusted me to make my own decisions. My dad on the other hand, was a jerk to both of us. I'm sure that added to our relationship somewhat.

[Juniper]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

I've (re)moved and retired off topic posts.

[Heka]

Re: Mother daughter relationships

As a teenager I thought I hated my mother, like as if we could only have ONE soft drink a day, and only 2 hours of screen time? like, what a BITCH!

But then I grew up and realised my mum did really well by me. I consider myself a good person, and I can blame my mother for that.

Overall, we get along very well.