Choices And Ethics

[Poshi]

Re: Choices And Ethics

As folks on here have stated, I think the wisest move on your part would be to open the teen up to the idea of expressing his/her opinions and beliefs as they see fit... In the long run, it doesn't have to be about what their parents think or want them to do, it's about what is truly right for them. Getting involved in any other way than that would probably be more damaging to the situation than helpful. Unfortunately, it might even result in the teen being isolated from you, with the parents no longer allowing for your involvement in his/her life. Basically, open the door and allow them to walk through if they please, how they please, and when they please. Beyond that, their spiritual journey is their own.

As for our little spat about religious rape: Although I would be in agreement that religious rape is a generally not-good thing (that is to say a very bad thing), I think that young adults finding themselves involved in situations with people who take advantage of them like that has very, very little to do with being generally impressionable as it has to do with being misinformed about the nature of their own beliefs and the beliefs of others. A fascinating topic, indeed, but unrelated.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Choices And Ethics

Well, yes, once a teacher, always a teacher. But obviously the OP doesn't want to rape the child... I think. And I agree it's a delicate thing. But still, the only person fit for deciding if their fit to teach them, it's the teacher itself. Specially in the eclectic sea of paganism. Any issue they cause is their responsibility and I'm pretty sure OP is aware of that.

I just think the rape comment/example was completely unnecessary and didn't illustrate your point at all.

I'm willing to admit it may be more of a holdover from before when seduction and rape was a common complaint and encounter that many newbies (especially females) experienced in discovering their pathway. Unfortunately I still hear of far to many examples of it occurring to the point of having a prospective female student ask me if that was part of what I expected if I was asked to teach her and that wasn't more than 3 years ago. She was very certain it was not only expected when you had a male trainer but encouraged to show you (her in this instance) you were actually accepted as a student.

The other options suggested here simply seem like to much white light and happy happy joyful joyful nothing bad can happen to you or them. It also seems very suggestive of no need to take accountability or responsibility for your actions or potential fallout from it.

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Complicated question asked simply: If you were someone like an uncle, aunt, or cousin, and you knew of another family member (underage) who was drawn to the world and beliefs of pagans but came from a household of, say, devout Christians who viewed the pagan path as immoral, what would you do? Would you try and discuss this with the individual? Would you leave it alone out of respect for your other family members? Or would you do something different? Is it unethical to try and help someone else's child when your path is clearly something they see as ominous? Would you do it based on the fact that it was for the child (or teen) and their well-being in terms of religious understanding, even though you might risk causing tension between you and the child's caretakers? Or would you avoid it because of said potential consequence? Thank you in advance for your responses?

The part that really gets me though is who died and decided you were the one to decide if acknowledgement or lack there of would potentially be harmful or helpful? That aspect has always amazed me when I hear people decide they must help someone when there is no life threatening action or potential. Ironically that seems to be an aspect of the younger generation for it was not part of mine.

[Yorin]

Re: Choices And Ethics

As to the OP's question, my suggestion would be to offer and let them know basically that you're there if they want to talk and let the choice be up to them. I wouldn't suggest going out of your way to meddle, but letting the child know that they have an outlet and someone to talk to can be really beneficial for them. Not having someone to talk to if they're in a seriously repressive environment can be really bad for them and can lead to a lot of problems from personal experiences.

Also-seriously? "If you didn't make the connection you're not qualified to talk to anyone about pagan beliefs". What the actual F---. Not everyone's obsessed with rape and thinks that literally every little thing you do is going to end in that kind of situation when dealing with anything.

[Poshi]

Re: Choices And Ethics

I'm willing to admit it may be more of a holdover from before when seduction and rape was a common complaint and encounter that many newbies (especially females) experienced in discovering their pathway. Unfortunately I still hear of far to many examples of it occurring to the point of having a prospective female student ask me if that was part of what I expected if I was asked to teach her and that wasn't more than 3 years ago. She was very certain it was not only expected when you had a male trainer but encouraged to show you (her in this instance) you were actually accepted as a student.

The other options suggested here simply seem like to much white light and happy happy joyful joyful nothing bad can happen to you or them. It also seems very suggestive of no need to take accountability or responsibility for your actions or potential fallout from it.

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The part that really gets me though is who died and decided you were the one to decide if acknowledgement or lack there of would potentially be harmful or helpful? That aspect has always amazed me when I hear people decide they must help someone when there is no life threatening action or potential. Ironically that seems to be an aspect of the younger generation for it was not part of mine.

While I respect what you're saying, and I am in agreement that (as I've stated) rape is not a positive occurrence, this is still totally irrelevant to the conversation no matter how many ways we rephrase it or slide it back into the conversation. OP asked a very direct question which is being drowned out and ignored due to this topic of conversation, which hardly seems fair. Perhaps it would be more beneficial to all parties to start a debate thread on the topic if it's important to us to continue discussing it on the forum?

[Sean R. R.]

Re: Choices And Ethics

The part that really gets me though is who died and decided you were the one to decide if acknowledgement or lack there of would potentially be harmful or helpful? That aspect has always amazed me when I hear people decide they must help someone when there is no life threatening action or potential. Ironically that seems to be an aspect of the younger generation for it was not part of mine.

Pretty part about being human is that we are the absolute masters of our own actions. If we decide to help someone, it's because we either believe it is the right thing to do, or because we want to help the damn person and that's it. And trust me, there are things far, FAAAR worse than death, and they are many.

Maybe it's time for you to let go of the past and adapt to the new generation.

[Juniper]

Re: Choices And Ethics

I'm locking this thread for the time being, pending staff discussion of whether we want to allow this discussion to keep heading into the current direction.

I'm personally not comfortable with this until I've had some time to digest what just happened here.