Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

[jcaternolo]

Not sure what the best thing to do is here. I could just say grace, but I read that dishonesty isn't a good way to start a spiritual path. My mom doesn't really care either way, if it was just her, I could get away with not saying grace, but I have a feeling my stepfather would mind because he's a devout Christian.

[Medusa]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

Make a grace thanking your friends and family.

[thalassa]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

Do you have to be the one that says grace? Can you pass it off to someone else? I was asked to say grace once...so I made it interfaith and I was never asked again.

In my family, us Pagans and atheists (we are about 1/4 of the family) just bow our heads and STFU for a few minutes while the Christian types have their moment of worship...as my Uncle says, the Pagan 1/8 (myself, my spouse, and our kids) just say our own prayer in our heads, and the atheist 1/8 (my uncle, his wife, and their kids) think about food.

[Heka]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

I say grace. I want to give thanks for my food. My husband is Christian. He calls it grace. So I call it grace, it's just easier. We take turns. When it's my turn, I don't direct it to god or say amen. The husband does, but he's usually pretty low key about it.

just my two cents

[Auseklis]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

I come from an all pagan upbringing and I have never found it dishonest to say grace. If you were with other pagans and they asked you to join their circle, even if it was not your flavor of paganism, would you respect their path? Why not respect the path of the Christian tradition just for that moment?

[Rick]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

Not sure what the best thing to do is here. I could just say grace, but I read that dishonesty isn't a good way to start a spiritual path. My mom doesn't really care either way, if it was just her, I could get away with not saying grace, but I have a feeling my stepfather would mind because he's a devout Christian.

Ask your stepfather to say grace (or 'turn grace,' as we say 'round these parts). Let's you off the hook, makes him feel good, and you can think about turkey and dressing while he's talking...

[DanieMarie]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

I also don't find it offensive to say "grace." You can personally give it to any god of your choosing

I always do a big thanksgiving with my friends here (less than 2 weeks until the Canadian version!) If I don't do it, no one will because it's such a minority thing here and I like to keep a bit of my country's tradition. I don't say grace at all, though I secretly offer a thanks to the turkey that gave its life before I serve it. My friends come from different faiths, and most (including my boyfriend) are atheists and stuff like that makes them a bit uncomfortable. In a multi-faith gathering, sometimes it's just helpful to keep it secular. Sometimes I ask anyone who wants to to talk about what they're thankful for. You don't need a religion to offer up a bit of gratitude for the things you have. Maybe you could try something like that?

[Vigdisdotter]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

Are you feeling you have to say grace to the Christian god?

[Malflick]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

I know my girlfriend, when in situations like that, prays to her own Gods and keeps it to herself. When I visit my friends who are other religions, such as Hindu, I quietly show the same respect.

[Rick]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

Black Sabbath: Iron Man

[Erika]

Re: Couple more months til Thanksgiving, and my mom and stepfather are Christian

I know my girlfriend, when in situations like that, prays to her own Gods and keeps it to herself.

Same here. My family says grace at every dinner, so normally I just bow my head and give my own thanks to my gods. Occasionally at family gatherings one person will be asked to lead prayer while everyone else is quiet, and when it's my turn I make mine rather secular. 'Good bread, Good meat, Thanks Mom, Let's eat!' tends to get a laugh out of my relatives.