Becoming Invisible

[Wonderland]

Greetings!

I'm gonna try to be as short and precise as possible so here's the deal:

For the past month 1/2 or so, I have been experiencing something that I have no idea how to describe other than "becoming invisible". By this, I mean that:

1. Whenever I talk to someone and refer to something specific (like an event, news, etc.) a couple of minutes later or maybe in our next conversation that same person will tell me what I already told him/her before, as if it was something he/she had just discovered and wanted to share with me. It's as if I had never said it in the first place.

2. ALL my family members have been doing the same thing plus, whenever I speak to them, they end up telling me about their lives and a bunch of stuff but they don't seem interested in listening to what's been going on in my life and cut the conversation short every time. They just talk and when they're done, they're gone.

3. At work, I've given ideas to improve some things but no one takes them into account and all of a sudden someone else says the same ideas and they take them into account immediately!

4. I'm a member of another forum and whenever I post something, someone else posts the exact same thing (or thought) and everyone ends up quoting that person or replying to that person and my post gets lost as if it never happened.

Has this ever happened to anyone here??? Why is this happening? I'm just completely lost as to how to approach this. I seriously believe I'm becoming "invisible" to others and I have no idea why.

:=L:

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Becoming Invisible

Personally I'd say its an energy disconnect. I've had a number of times where I've spoken or written something and the energy contained within it is almost a null. So much so that it goes unremembered or does nothing to attract a response from anyone who reads it. In many ways its similar to projecting ones voice so it carries above a crows yet does not cause it to be turned off by the listener. Yet another person may read or hear it and it causes them to state it again but in a projective voice and energy and it then gets attention paid to it.

A lot of times it comes from word choice and usage. if you speak passively then the energy is passive and potentially unresponsive. Writing holds the same defaults in that people skim over it but never truly read it. Figure in some ways it comes across like spiders on the page that are stagnant and don't move.

How to change it is more problematic in that it's difficult to identify what your doing. Being forceful can be just as negating as being passive so its a fine line to walk at times. Many times one has to build up how they are seen or viewed at work for instance. Yet it starts out small then you gain in recognition and presence. Figure first you have to have an idea on nearly everything yet it has to be shown its a though out idea and not a spur of the moment or unfocused which will create a invisibility about you. Figure the story of the boy who cried wolf, at first your listened to but then your tuned out as the stories and purpose seems to always be upon the self or belittling others. Not saying or trying to imply such only using the story as an analogy here.

Family is even harder in that many have the mindset of children are to be seen and not heard. You may not be a child anymore but to many who view you that is still how they see you potentially. Unless you really do something to change that perception they still see you as a child. I have to remind myself of that at times with my younger siblings and cousins. It's like my niece is 30 something, has two living children and one who died of SIDS yet when I look at her I still see her as a little girl at times. Yet her mother still see's her and acts towards her as if she was the little girl that she can control.

Work can be easier to change while family is much more difficult. Yet work is also dangerous in that people have to form an impression of you quickly and once formed it is hard to get it to change unless your office / place of employment has a high turn over of personal. Work also can produce the person who feeds upon your idea's then passes them off as their own, never once admitting they originated with another. I've worked with bosses who swore an idea originated with person A until someone else made them realize that it originated with person B. But it usually requires another person who is recognized to be able to affect / effect that type of switch.

[Willow]

Re: Becoming Invisible

People become forgetful when they're tired and have a lot going on, perhaps that has something to do with it? I know some people are more shy and reserved than others and sometimes they don't always make a huge presence to some people. Maybe it's a combination of the two, that's all I can think of right now.

[Wonderland]

Re: Becoming Invisible

Thank you for your input, monsno_leedra.

I understand what you're saying about how I project myself and that words play a big part of it but I wonder why it happened all of a sudden.

As far as I know, I have been projecting myself as I always do (I could very well be super wrong and off about this) and I have been addressing things in the same manner as I always have. People just started... not noticing, almost as if they didn't even cared. This has never happened to me before and not even in such a short amount of time with so many people and scenarios at once and so strongly.

If I feel like I haven't changed my approach, how can I know if I'm the one who's disconnected? :=(:

---------------

People become forgetful when they're tired and have a lot going on, perhaps that has something to do with it? I know some people are more shy and reserved than others and sometimes they don't always make a huge presence to some people. Maybe it's a combination of the two, that's all I can think of right now.

That's what I thought at first but the fact that this happened in a short span of time and with almost everyone I come in contact or interact with and it's getting stronger by the minute, makes me think it might be something else. :=L:

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Becoming Invisible

monsno_leedra[/URL].

I understand what you're saying about how I project myself and that words play a big part of it but I wonder why it happened all of a sudden.

As far as I know, I have been projecting myself as I always do (I could very well be super wrong and off about this) and I have been addressing things in the same manner as I always have. People just started... not noticing, almost as if they didn't even cared. This has never happened to me before and not even in such a short amount of time with so many people and scenarios at once and so strongly.

If I feel like I haven't changed my approach, how can I know if I'm the one who's disconnected? :=(:

I wonder if you might not be seeing a bit of syncronicity here? Typically syncronicity is supporting of a though or concept in the positive but if you've been hurt under one situation and something similar happens in another that you start to see it negatively against nearly all others?

I know I have had periods where I felt under appreciated or used and my perspective started to seep into other areas and "See" the same under appreciation and sense of being invisible. Not that I really was being seen or subjected to it but in my own mind I started to see it as such. Even to the point of looking for it as proof of my conclusions. For me it just turned on one day after I had really poured all of my energy into a project only to have it ignored then another person to get praise and reward for turning that same project in. What made it even worse is that once the truth came out I was told they couldn't change it as it would make them all look bad but I'd be compensated for it later. 30 years later I'm still waiting for that compensation.

Yet for weeks after that all I saw was negative and demeaning of me by everyone. Family, friends, strangers it didn't mater anything and everything that could be seen wrong was seen as such. In many ways it became a self fulfilling prophecy for I couldn't see anything else.

I was brought out of it by a slap to the head by my gods / goddesses but also by my close friends and family. I also realized that for me I was so focused upon the self and self gratification that reward became more important than actual satisfaction and personal sense of self worth. Not saying that is what your going through but what it makes me think of if it came on suddenly and is all encompassing in your life.

[Wonderland]

Re: Becoming Invisible

I wonder if you might not be seeing a bit of syncronicity here? Typically syncronicity is supporting of a though or concept in the positive but if you've been hurt under one situation and something similar happens in another that you start to see it negatively against nearly all others?

I know I have had periods where I felt under appreciated or used and my perspective started to seep into other areas and "See" the same under appreciation and sense of being invisible. Not that I really was being seen or subjected to it but in my own mind I started to see it as such. Even to the point of looking for it as proof of my conclusions. For me it just turned on one day after I had really poured all of my energy into a project only to have it ignored then another person to get praise and reward for turning that same project in. What made it even worse is that once the truth came out I was told they couldn't change it as it would make them all look bad but I'd be compensated for it later. 30 years later I'm still waiting for that compensation.

Yet for weeks after that all I saw was negative and demeaning of me by everyone. Family, friends, strangers it didn't mater anything and everything that could be seen wrong was seen as such. In many ways it became a self fulfilling prophecy for I couldn't see anything else.

I was brought out of it by a slap to the head by my gods / goddesses but also by my close friends and family. I also realized that for me I was so focused upon the self and self gratification that reward became more important than actual satisfaction and personal sense of self worth. Not saying that is what your going through but what it makes me think of if it came on suddenly and is all encompassing in your life.

Hmm... This has brought a lot of light into my clouded mind. I think this might be the reason why this is happening. I'm going back in my mind trying to remember something that might have triggered this and I believe I even talked to my bf about this before. I think it had something to do with a family member and I remember complaining about it to my bf a couple of weeks ago.

I will ponder about this. Thank you.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: Becoming Invisible

I'm sorry...

Did you just say something?

[Wonderland]

Re: Becoming Invisible

I'm sorry...

Did you just say something?

Very funny.

Story of my life (as of a few weeks ago). Thanx. :lol:

[Willow]

Re: Becoming Invisible

Totally random tangent, I've never seen the new Alice in Wonderland movie...