Being alone in your path...

[Torey]

Re: Being alone in your path...

Well I wanted to discuss about this with some fellow pagans for a long time. I have been on this for some time now. Before that I used to be a New Ager, but the lack of grounding that that path held for me, lead me to explore paganism and connect myself to the Earth. After that I found more grounding elements in Dark Paganism following Hecate and Lucifer.

Now, I have two friends that both are involved in their own paths, one still following a sort of New Age paradigm and the other a more Ancient Greek one.

When I try to talk to them about my path the first finds it too Dark for her taste, and the other even though accepting of the Dark doesn't like the foreign part of it. So, I am a solitary practitioner which even though fine with that to a certain extend, still has the need to communicate his path with close friends even though he knows this is not possible anymore.

So, what are your thoughts and experience on alienation (if any)?

As has been said here, I am also solitary by choice. I have no desire to know or to interact with others of my path (Theistic Satanism and Demonolatry). I have been involved with a "group" of such individuals and found them to be generally false, petty, posturing individuals with little footing in reality. The perceptions that I have attained of most others of my path are distasteful to me - and aside from that, I am not a sociable person at all so I actively avoid interaction with other people when at all possible.

I have occasionally had the desire to share my thoughts and my path with others - but since my wife also holds to most of the same beliefs as I do, I have someone to share these things with. I also created a website which I use as a tool for self-expression and to record some of my thoughts, beliefs and experiences.

I can only imagine the fallout if I were an "open" Satanist at my workplace. Despite the fact that I do truly wish that others would be understanding and open-minded of paths which they perceive to be "negative" or "dark", I don't feel that social and professional fallout is worth the freedom to practice my religion "out of the closet". I don't see the reward in being "openly Satanic" and I don't really have any desire to educate random people in the same way that I once did.

So alienation is not an issue for me. I suppose that I have also reached a point in my path in which I am wholly self-confident and my sense of personal power is no longer dependent on what others think of me or what they contribute.

[Willow]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I've chosen to stay solitary simply because I have never met anyone in this country that follows the same exact beliefs I do. I don't really have the patience every day to hold someone by the hand and walk them through my beliefs (hence my in-progress blog that I will .... eventually.... fill in). It's easier, less stressful, and less jarring to do what I do and think what I think without trying to explain it to anyone else (who probably isn't particularly interested in the ins and outs anyway).

After moving here I've become a bit of a cynic due to the local population and a few other communities I've been a part of. It seems like nobody is particularly interested in learning or caring about anyone outside of themselves unless it somehow benefits them. Nothing like back home, where people are fairly open and brutally honest with each other (unless you're a politician).

Oookay, back on track. I don't have that loneliness urge, but there is a group of practitioning Old Believers in Slovenia that, if I were still living there, I may have sought out by now because they do celebrate the traditions and festivities on the right dates with the right attire, food, fires, etc... Can't guarantee the personality factor wouldn't come into play, but it would be worth a try for me.

[Sondst]

Re: Being alone in your path...

My partner is atheist and often makes remarks about my pentagram saying its satanic, I wear one with a cat on it (its fucking adorable) and he jokes around telling people I worship satan ect. I don't believe in a satan, but I grew up mormon so saying that somehow offends me lol. I get upset, and tell him being pagan is me. So he mocks me.

My two close friends are both pagan. One has more Egyptian roots and practices witchcraft and the other is a witch in general but doesn't perform rituals anymore, she keeps records and teaches the children, especially my daughter about all things. Neither of them have alienated me, but often I find myself confused or left out as I am still learning, I guess I often feel dumb lol though i feel like we are an unofficial mini coven of awesomeness lol. They are my teachers despite our differences. My one that teaches is very connected with astral, and future/past lives. All 3 of us know that in our last lives we were all human, all together, and that this one friend saved us from burning alive. So we have this connection that is not broken.

day to day I'm solitary, but I do have those two friends I'm close with and can find comfort. So I have no been shown the loneliness any solidarity so many of you have. If I did I may not be as strongly connected I fear.

[Malflick]

Re: Being alone in your path...

My partner is atheist and often makes remarks about my pentagram saying its satanic, I wear one with a cat on it (its fucking adorable) and he jokes around telling people I worship satan ect. I don't believe in a satan, but I grew up mormon so saying that somehow offends me lol. I get upset, and tell him being pagan is me. So he mocks me.

My two close friends are both pagan. One has more Egyptian roots and practices witchcraft and the other is a witch in general but doesn't perform rituals anymore, she keeps records and teaches the children, especially my daughter about all things. Neither of them have alienated me, but often I find myself confused or left out as I am still learning, I guess I often feel dumb lol though i feel like we are an unofficial mini coven of awesomeness lol. They are my teachers despite our differences. My one that teaches is very connected with astral, and future/past lives. All 3 of us know that in our last lives we were all human, all together, and that this one friend saved us from burning alive. So we have this connection that is not broken.

day to day I'm solitary, but I do have those two friends I'm close with and can find comfort. So I have no been shown the loneliness any solidarity so many of you have. If I did I may not be as strongly connected I fear.

That's really unfair of him to mock you about that... Religion is a big part of who I am, and not having that be accepted would be very hard for me in a relationship, and I can't imagine making fun of my girlfriend's beliefs or pentagram, not only because I respect her and her beliefs, but that's just kind of mean.

Maybe I'm out of place here, but he really should be able to respect who you are better, IMHO. I hope he can learn to be more tolerant of you.

I'm glad you have buddies you can talk to though .

[luciferian76]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I agree with Malflick in that Sondst. Relationships should be based on mutual respect. From my experience though I have come to the conclusion that Atheists tent to be really aggressive towards people that practice any form of spirituality, so I have given up trying to have any kind of conversation with them even at the most basics cause it's like talking to a wall and a real waist of energy. But if you feel comfortable with your partner's behavior who am I to judge. From what you say you see to manage it quiet well with humor...

[Rowanwood]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I agree with Malflick in that Sondst. Relationships should be based on mutual respect. From my experience though I have come to the conclusion that Atheists tent to be really aggressive towards people that practice any form of spirituality, so I have given up trying to have any kind of conversation with them even at the most basics cause it's like talking to a wall and a real waist of energy. But if you feel comfortable with your partner's behavior who am I to judge. From what you say you see to manage it quiet well with humor...

Without context though? It could just as likely be harmless banter, not disrespect. I have friends of many faiths and we give each other crap about it, in good humor, all the time. And atheists, who aren't a-holes, are the same. There are a-holes in every faith. They are definitely not worth talking to. I don't discriminate based on faith, only behavior, otherwise I'm worse and a hypocrite.

[Sondst]

Re: Being alone in your path...

And its something we are working on. We are making a slow progression towards him not doing it, and we are fairly new into the relationship. I think for him never being religious and always atheist, raised by strong atheists, I don't think he realized how hurtful it was.

I remember the day I spoke about it with him he was like um ok. I will try not to.

And he truly made an effort he even agreed to go to a pagan meet up in my local city with me and read my faerie craft books lol. He has told me that my belief in demons and ghosts is realistic, those entities exist, but my beleif in the fae well it borders for him haha. I'm glad though hes trying to understand that.

[Briar]

Re: Being alone in your path...

To me we each bring our life experiences to our spirituality. Because no two people live the same life no two spiritualties can be the same. This happens even in mainstream religions. I know good Methodist that tell people they need to stand on their own two feet and not ask for handouts because "God helps those that help themselves." Then I know other Methodists that run an amazing soup kitchen that puts out better tasting food for the poor than most restaurants. They share the same religion but see things completely differently.

In real life I am strange. I come from a large farm family that was poor when I was a child. We had no electricity until I was 16, used an outhouse, walked to a one room schoolhouse (where we were allowed to bring rifles-another story), shot or grew what we ate, the children had chores but then had the freedom to run around thousands of acres of wilderness and farmland for fun--no TV, the first flush toilet I ever saw was when I was 13 and it scared me to death (they still are scary things which is why I have a composting toilet), and our horses, calves, dogs, cats, lambs, etc...were out toys.

The spirituality that was going to come from a life like that was not going to be like anyone else's. When I was in college it might have bothered me. I don't remember that it did but I also tried many different religions and spiritualties back then so maybe it did. It doesn't bother me now. I enjoy meeting new people and exploring new religions. As long as they don't try to force it onto me or tell me my spirituality is wrong without even understanding my spirituality I like the differences. Sometimes their holidays give me new things to celebrate (I'm always ready to party), sometimes I will giggle a bit (spiral dances are much more fun to watch than they are to participate in), but if they don't agree with me it's probably because we come from such different lives we can't quite come to a spiritual agreement.

The way I practice my way actually needs less distractions so being solitary is best for me. I like watching ceremonies, like I like watching movies or plays, but they don't hold the same meaning to me they do to the people participating in them.

I guess what I'm saying is that we go through all life as individuals, no one knows what is in your head, and people would be scared to see what goes on in mine. Why would our spirituality be cookie cutter cutouts of each others?

[luciferian76]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I would like to appologize if I offented any atheist in this forum. My coclusions about atheists and especially the so called 'skeptics' (which for me these are pseudoskeptics not real sceptics that withhold them selves from making any conclusion till there are enough evidence to backup what they understant to be true) came from the ones I met and I didn't meet a lot of nice once out there. And yes behavior is everything. But isn't behavior influenced also by our belief systems?

[Malflick]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I would like to appologize if I offented any atheist in this forum. My coclusions about atheists and especially the so called 'skeptics' (which for me these are pseudoskeptics not real sceptics that withhold them selves from making any conclusion till there are enough evidence to backup what they understant to be true) came from the ones I met and I didn't meet a lot of nice once out there. And yes behavior is everything. But isn't behavior influenced also by our belief systems?

Not every person is emblematic of a belief system though. I've met very kind compassionate atheists, and I've met one atheist was one of the worst people I've ever met. I've met Christians who help the poor and stand up for the meek, and I've met others who say we should kill gay people. I've met mean selfish Pagans, and I've met one I liked so much she became my girlfriend... And I really could keep on going.

Every belief system if its big enough is going to have people who are jerks in it. That's just the way of the world. And those jerks will probably be very loud.

[Briar]

Re: Being alone in your path...

I would like to appologize if I offented any atheist in this forum. My coclusions about atheists and especially the so called 'skeptics' (which for me these are pseudoskeptics not real sceptics that withhold them selves from making any conclusion till there are enough evidence to backup what they understant to be true) came from the ones I met and I didn't meet a lot of nice once out there. And yes behavior is everything. But isn't behavior influenced also by our belief systems?

I'm a skeptic...sorry...I don't believe or disbelieve in things unless I have some proof. Of course I may disbelieve in something if it scientifically impossible but not just because it has no proof to back it up. I always say I wasn't born with the faith gene...whatever part of the brain that belief forms in didn't fully develop in me.

I always tell the story of being a kid and not believing that we really needed to put gas in the car. I mean, really, you put the nozzle into the tank and the numbers change on the gas pump. Do we really see the gas going into the tank? So my father caught me under the family car with his tools trying to take the car apart to prove my theory correct. Thank goodness he caught me in time.hnoes:

Then I had a friend ask me "You don't believe in anything you can't see? So how do you know Australia is on the other side of the world?"
My reply would be, "I don't. I'll work with the common belief that it is, but if someone proved to me that it is somewhere in Iowa, I would go with the new proof."

It's just who I am. I don't disbelieve things, but I don't believe things either...unless they are proved either way. I'm weird, I know. LOL

And no, I think our belief system is influenced by our behavior, not our behavior influenced by our beliefs. A person can kill in the name of god just as much as they can love in it. Our beliefs don't change us, only we can change us.

[luciferian76]

Re: Being alone in your path...

Ok this is gonna be my last post on the topic cause I don't want to sound like a drama queen complaining about peoples' behavior towards me anymore. Thank you all for your wonderful replies and I am eager to continue my interactions with you with less emotionally charged posts of mine...

[Malflick]

Re: Being alone in your path...

Ok this is gonna be my last post on the topic cause I don't want to sound like a drama queen complaining about peoples' behavior towards me anymore. Thank you all for your wonderful replies and I am eager to continue my interactions with you with less emotionally charged posts of mine...

Its cool, I exploded on someone earlier this week (ugh, I felt so embarrassed) thanks for being willing to respond to people ^_^.

[luciferian76]

Re: Being alone in your path...

(ignore this one)