My past and reasons being here.

[Torey]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

(I've hit the word limit and am only half way through. If someone would kindly stick a break post here that would be great, otherwise I'll post the second half in an hour or so)

I'm here to accommodate your wishes.

[Rae'ya]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Thank you, kindly!

He had recently broke up with his ex. But he introduced something to me. It was a certain liquid that he claimed to enable him to get any woman he wanted." He told me that this liquid was made from an apple and one had to do a certain ritual before applying this liquid. He used the liquid as a cologne and put it on his shoulders, neck ect, and it sort of acts like an aphrodisiac but more potent. He said he used this and girls from a super market were openly flirting with him when he applied it. Even his ex who was talking to him online and was disgusted with him previously, was almost lusting after him. He said, if one tricked the woman to drink the liquid the woman would lust after them even more and stay with them for some time. I asked how it was possible. How is it possible that he's doing this. He said he didn't care how it works. All he cared about was that this ritual worked. He wanted to introduce me to magic because I was considered a good friend to him and he only wanted to share this with me.

Love spells exist. Do they work? Generally not. Do they improve your confidence in your own allure? Yes. Does confidence and arrogance make a man more attractive. Yes. This sort of love spell works because it makes you more confident in yourself... it makes you try less, increases your arrogance about your own attractiveness, makes you flirt more and changes the signals that you are giving the opposite sex. That normally makes you more attractive.

I knew full well that even though we were friends and we do get along for the most part, he has betrayed me and cheated me sometimes. He knew I was a virgin as well. Since he has never been the most trustworthy, I concluded he was trying to trick me somehow. To be brought into his fold. I am a virgin but he knew I wanted a woman and I was infatuated with a certain woman at the time.

So you knew that he was manipulating you what he said that.

But you did it anyway.

He also told me that in order to do this ritual, one had to go into the woods, take an apple, and speak certain Sumerian words. He said once I did, I would start seeing frightening images, but told me never to run away from them. Again he never fully explained what these images were or why I had to stay still. He told me he followed "The Path of Fear" and I have no idea what he meant by that.

This is not a Sumerian ritual. It's a mishmash of cultures and symbols that have no correlation to each other.

However he is a frightening figure when he is angry. He's been angry before and I have seen him instill fear in people that antagonized him.

He's a bully. Sorry, but that's the truth. And you're scared of him, so you know this full well. It's time to be honest with yourselft, Alienist.

He has been manipulative in the past so it makes me think he's used magic to make people afraid of him.

No, he's a bully and a manipulator.

You are doing the same thing your father did. You love your brother, and you don't want to admit that he is a bully and a manipulator so you are blaming the magick. It's not the magick. It's your brother's personality.

And it works because he's the same as every other bully manipulator. He knows how to sway people to his cause. He knows how to intimidate people through fear. He's had lots of practice. He's been doing it to you your entire life. Look at how easily you fell into his hands during this little escapade. You KNEW what he was doing, but you joined in anyway.

THAT is what the others mean when they say that you are enabling his behaviour.

He told me I would be looked upon as sort of a freak, I would see things no one else could see and hear things no one else could do, and promised me power over anyone but I refused. I stated that trying to do magic and uses forces I don't fully comprehend isn't exactly wise. I admit I have always been over cautious but my brother is impulsive, willing to try things like this without even considering how it works, or what the repercussions or consequences are if someone abuses it. I also explained to him that it wasn't exactly ethical to do this, but I also said, I wanted to find a woman myself and not resort to magic to help me do something like that. He said he understood my decision and didn't want to rush me into it and said whenever I was ready, I was to talk to him. I asked him why he was being so vague about his path and his descriptions and aftermath of spells and description of rituals. He said I simply "wasn't ready to learn" and that once I understood his path, he would explain everything.

Manipulation and reverse psychology. He played you.

But I knew this magic he used was real, but I will protect myself.

You knew it was real? But you haven't witnessed anything yet.

So far all you've done is blame magick for your brother being a manipulative jerk.

I once hung out with him in a party where he was with his ex who wasn't his ex anymore.

Let me let you in on a little girl-secret. We tend to like bad boys. Sad, but true. And women who actually go out with bad-boys find it VERY difficult to break with them properly. He didn't use magick to get his ex to go out with him again... he used his natural talents as a bad-boy to manipulate her and keep her tied to him. That's what they do. That's why battered-wife syndrome is an actual, measurable phenomenom. It took my mum twelve years to leave my abusive bad-boy of a father.

You brother wasn't doing love spells. He's just got mad skills with women and knows which ones to try them on.

We hung out, had a good time and so forth but things turned weird and almost frightening after the party. After it was over, me his girlfriend, him and his friend were there. My brother told me he applied the ritual liquid on him and that he was going to see how well it worked on his girl. He still insisted on me trying it, but I refused. I think he was drunk or maybe he was just angry, but he started being more insistent on it, saying I was just "scared to do something new" and that he sensed my fear. I told him I wasn't going to be stupid and uses forces I don't fully comprehend and not consider the consequences. He knew my decision and warned me to keep it secret and warned me not to tell anyone he was a sorcerer. I told him it wouldn't matter and they wouldn't believe me anyway.

Manipulation and bullying. Do you see what he was doing? He was slowly wearing you down. Playing on your fears. Using your fear against you. It's classic presentation.

I went to sleep, but he told me he laid with his girlfriend. Even then I could sense there was a little remorse in him doing it and it made me think that maybe it wasn't right, but even then, he still continued using his magic.

His girlfriend had sex with him.

Let me say that again... his GIRLFRIEND had sex with him.

That's not magick, honey. That's hormones. She was his girlfriend. He put the moves on her. She'd been drinking. He's a bad-boy. He's sexy. She's horny. You know what that leads to? Sex.

No magick here.

Over a period of time, I noticed he had symbols around his room when I was cleaning it when he was gone for a little while. He had sigils of certain beings and demons like Asmodeus, Pazuzu, Azazel and so forth. He had a book called the "Necromantic Ritual Book" but I never read it.

The Necromantic Ritual Book? I've never read it, but I just Amazoned it. Demons and Death are kind of my thing. So please trust me when I tell you that this book is not a respected nor a genuine book of Necromancy.

He even had a prayer note written on paper, asking for Asmodeus to give him a woman.

Asmodeus is a deity of lust and a pretty good choice for increasing your chances of getting laid. There's nothing wrong with that when you consider what I said before about love spells generally working because of an increase to your own confidence. It doesn't work by somehow brainwashing a woman into having sex with you, though.

Your bro is a bad-boy with some confidence boost from his spells. That's a pretty sexy combination that lots of women would respond to. It's not going to turn pure little innocent girls into lustful whores though.

If this is your idea of unethical, you might want to calibrate your moral compass a bit.

I am not sure if he worships them or not, but he also mentioned paying homage to Inanna and other Sumerian deities.

Eh. Inanna isn't badass. There are a few 'dark' Sumerian deities, but Inanna isn't one of them. She is a good choice if he's trying for love spells. But she's not a good choice for necromantic or death rituals, which you also seem to be concerned about.

He had a note online that he left. He was sending an e-mail to some friend of his and it involved bizarre behavior. We had a goat farm before and mentioned to his friend that some of the goats might die of worms because some of our goats were infected, and if they fell down dead, he would decapitate the dead goats head, boil the flesh off and give the skull to his friend as a gift.

Can I offer a little perspective here? This is not weird or evil or unethical. He doesn't even claim that he's going to kill the goat himself. He's going to wait until it dies, which it's unlikely to do because it's pretty rare for a healthy adult animal to die of worms. Then he's going to chop off it's head and boil it down? Maybe his friend wanted a skull? Sounds like a damn good method for obtaining a skull to me. Cheaper than buying one from the Bone Room, though a bit smellier. I would advise that he does the boiling outside and doesn't use your mother's soup pot as she'll be pissed about that.

Skulls are handy for all sorts of things.

Why I don't know, but he also said at the end of the e-mail, "May the blessings of Marduk be upon you" which implies he worships Marduk as well as Asmoedus the demon and others or he could just be using their powers for his own benefit. I am still not entirely sure. He even had a pentagram on his door which looked like it was made of blood! I thought it was blood at first but figured out that there was a red paintbrush and a paper tray with red paint so it has to be paint. Even so, it's still weird.

It's not weird. I'm not sure it's going to be terribly effective though. I'm a Demonolator. My husband is a Demonolator and Satanist. You don't get to use Demonic powers for your own benefit... you don't get to use deity powers for your own benefit. You ask nicely if they will help you. Demons don't tend to respond to people who don't put in the hard work though. Sometimes they get annoyed and will smack a dabbler on the wrist, but generally they just ignore people who aren't serious about a reciprocal relationship.

A pentagram on his door... lots of witches and magicians have pentagrams somehwere in their rooms. Either he painted it in his door for shock value or for it's protective symbolism. And blood? You've never seen something that was actually painted in blood, have you? It doesn't look like red paint. It's not like in the movies where there's bright red letters scrawled on the wall.

I need to bring perspective into this too. I use blood in my magick a LOT. Usually my own, which I draw from my veins with a needle and syringe. I also use pentagrams. Upside down pentagrams. And Demon sigils. And animal bits.

If what you saw in your brother's room freaks you out, remind me never to post a picture of my ritual room where you can see it.

I am concerned with my brother. Something with him is tainted and corrupt. I don't know if this kind of magic he's using as messed up his mind, or he's possessed or not. He has taken medication before but I'm still not sure if he does or not. His mind I don't think, is all there. I don't think he's evil, just messed up and confused. I've known him all my life and I still don't know who he really is.

My only concern about your brother is that he's a manipulative jerk. Magick hasn't messed him up. He's not even doing anything that is magickally badass. You say that you have witnessed things... witnessed what? You didn't witness anything magickal... not that you've described here. You snooped in his room and saw some letters and papers and a red pentagram. You got freaked out by some Demon names and mention of a goat skull.

Your brother is a manipulative bully. His family is unable to accept that he's not a nice person and so they are blaming his magickal practice. End of story.

I didn't want to post this, but I just need some help in protecting myself. I thought if I posted it on here, he would curse me or something. I don't know if he is going to or not, but he will, so be it, but I will not give up and I certainly will not live in fear all my life over my brother. I am tired of it. All I ask is some help. Please, I ask of advice, certain spells, healing. It would be most appreciated if you pray. Prayers would help. Please pray to your gods and goddesses. All I ask is your help.

Protection from WHAT exactly? He hasn't done anything to you that he hasn't been doing YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

I'm not saying that it's right that he's bullied you your whole life. I'm just saying that if you look back at this with absolute honesty with yourself, you'll see that it's not his magick you need to worry about. It's his manipulative nature. But that's never going to change. That's your brother. Unless he puts his hand up for some serious pscyologic work to try and change his bullying habits, he's not going to change.

His magick is not making him this way. He is doing this magick BECAUSE he is this way.

[Medusa]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

You have stated that you feel helpless. You have stated that you think magic can help you. This is why people seek magic. To help them feel empowered in situations where they are helpless. That's fine. It can help you to focus. Maybe change your perception. Maybe give you strength. But you have to do something beyond magic. There is no easy way out. Focus on yourself. Magic out of desperation never works. Magic is a tool. It's a way to trick your mind into giving you what you need. No matter what anyone wants to say about magic. Deep down inside this is the truth. You already have power. You just don't know how to use it.

[Alienist]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Thank you, kindly!



Love spells exist. Do they work? Generally not. Do they improve your confidence in your own allure? Yes. Does confidence and arrogance make a man more attractive. Yes. This sort of love spell works because it makes you more confident in yourself... it makes you try less, increases your arrogance about your own attractiveness, makes you flirt more and changes the signals that you are giving the opposite sex. That normally makes you more attractive.



So you knew that he was manipulating you what he said that.

But you did it anyway.



This is not a Sumerian ritual. It's a mishmash of cultures and symbols that have no correlation to each other.



He's a bully. Sorry, but that's the truth. And you're scared of him, so you know this full well. It's time to be honest with yourselft, Alienist.



No, he's a bully and a manipulator.

You are doing the same thing your father did. You love your brother, and you don't want to admit that he is a bully and a manipulator so you are blaming the magick. It's not the magick. It's your brother's personality.

And it works because he's the same as every other bully manipulator. He knows how to sway people to his cause. He knows how to intimidate people through fear. He's had lots of practice. He's been doing it to you your entire life. Look at how easily you fell into his hands during this little escapade. You KNEW what he was doing, but you joined in anyway.

THAT is what the others mean when they say that you are enabling his behaviour.



Manipulation and reverse psychology. He played you.



You knew it was real? But you haven't witnessed anything yet.

So far all you've done is blame magick for your brother being a manipulative jerk.



Let me let you in on a little girl-secret. We tend to like bad boys. Sad, but true. And women who actually go out with bad-boys find it VERY difficult to break with them properly. He didn't use magick to get his ex to go out with him again... he used his natural talents as a bad-boy to manipulate her and keep her tied to him. That's what they do. That's why battered-wife syndrome is an actual, measurable phenomenom. It took my mum twelve years to leave my abusive bad-boy of a father.

You brother wasn't doing love spells. He's just got mad skills with women and knows which ones to try them on.



Manipulation and bullying. Do you see what he was doing? He was slowly wearing you down. Playing on your fears. Using your fear against you. It's classic presentation.



His girlfriend had sex with him.

Let me say that again... his GIRLFRIEND had sex with him.

That's not magick, honey. That's hormones. She was his girlfriend. He put the moves on her. She'd been drinking. He's a bad-boy. He's sexy. She's horny. You know what that leads to? Sex.

No magick here.



The Necromantic Ritual Book? I've never read it, but I just Amazoned it. Demons and Death are kind of my thing. So please trust me when I tell you that this book is not a respected nor a genuine book of Necromancy.



Asmodeus is a deity of lust and a pretty good choice for increasing your chances of getting laid. There's nothing wrong with that when you consider what I said before about love spells generally working because of an increase to your own confidence. It doesn't work by somehow brainwashing a woman into having sex with you, though.

Your bro is a bad-boy with some confidence boost from his spells. That's a pretty sexy combination that lots of women would respond to. It's not going to turn pure little innocent girls into lustful whores though.

If this is your idea of unethical, you might want to calibrate your moral compass a bit.



Eh. Inanna isn't badass. There are a few 'dark' Sumerian deities, but Inanna isn't one of them. She is a good choice if he's trying for love spells. But she's not a good choice for necromantic or death rituals, which you also seem to be concerned about.



Can I offer a little perspective here? This is not weird or evil or unethical. He doesn't even claim that he's going to kill the goat himself. He's going to wait until it dies, which it's unlikely to do because it's pretty rare for a healthy adult animal to die of worms. Then he's going to chop off it's head and boil it down? Maybe his friend wanted a skull? Sounds like a damn good method for obtaining a skull to me. Cheaper than buying one from the Bone Room, though a bit smellier. I would advise that he does the boiling outside and doesn't use your mother's soup pot as she'll be pissed about that.

Skulls are handy for all sorts of things.



It's not weird. I'm not sure it's going to be terribly effective though. I'm a Demonolator. My husband is a Demonolator and Satanist. You don't get to use Demonic powers for your own benefit... you don't get to use deity powers for your own benefit. You ask nicely if they will help you. Demons don't tend to respond to people who don't put in the hard work though. Sometimes they get annoyed and will smack a dabbler on the wrist, but generally they just ignore people who aren't serious about a reciprocal relationship.

A pentagram on his door... lots of witches and magicians have pentagrams somehwere in their rooms. Either he painted it in his door for shock value or for it's protective symbolism. And blood? You've never seen something that was actually painted in blood, have you? It doesn't look like red paint. It's not like in the movies where there's bright red letters scrawled on the wall.

I need to bring perspective into this too. I use blood in my magick a LOT. Usually my own, which I draw from my veins with a needle and syringe. I also use pentagrams. Upside down pentagrams. And Demon sigils. And animal bits.

If what you saw in your brother's room freaks you out, remind me never to post a picture of my ritual room where you can see it.



My only concern about your brother is that he's a manipulative jerk. Magick hasn't messed him up. He's not even doing anything that is magickally badass. You say that you have witnessed things... witnessed what? You didn't witness anything magickal... not that you've described here. You snooped in his room and saw some letters and papers and a red pentagram. You got freaked out by some Demon names and mention of a goat skull.

Your brother is a manipulative bully. His family is unable to accept that he's not a nice person and so they are blaming his magickal practice. End of story.



Protection from WHAT exactly? He hasn't done anything to you that he hasn't been doing YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

I'm not saying that it's right that he's bullied you your whole life. I'm just saying that if you look back at this with absolute honesty with yourself, you'll see that it's not his magick you need to worry about. It's his manipulative nature. But that's never going to change. That's your brother. Unless he puts his hand up for some serious pscyologic work to try and change his bullying habits, he's not going to change.

His magick is not making him this way. He is doing this magick BECAUSE he is this way.

Seeing how he's my brother, I obviously have a much better frame a reference and know exactly what he's like. I highly doubt he's messed up and just happens to be in the occult when he didn't act this way UNTIL he picked up the book. My dad never said he's an advent believer of magic but he speculated that was the cause. So if it wasn't the book that gave him nightmares, hallucination and what not that WHAT did? Does it ever occur to anyone that "crazy" people have an actual reason for being crazy? Maybe the voices they hear are real and they are being infected by a demon or a negative spirit or force. If a body can be infected, couldn't a spirit be too?

So of course you won't think it's weird, because you tend to be in this kind of stuff, but collecting skulls is not a common hobby. What do people even do with the skulls anyway? He didn't play me either. If he did, I would have done what he told me to do, but I refused to get involved in that kind of stuff. Reading such stuff and doing such rituals can warp people's minds. As for his girlfriend, they didn't plan to have sex as they were still working things out, until he put on that stuff. I hear demons aren't willing to help people, like angels and demons from I've heard have to be threatened or coerced to help you.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

I don't intend this as a diagnosis, but, for the record, symptoms of schizophrenia usually show up between the ages of 16 and 30. Until they show up - and it may be related to stress, drug use, other environmental factors combining with a genetic predisposition - there may be little evidence that the disease is there (or none at all).

Also, you might want to consider that cause and effect may be switched around. Did he get weird because he started messing with a book, or did he start messing with a book because he got weird?

[Rowanwood]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Seeing how he's my brother, I obviously have a much better frame a reference and know exactly what he's like. I highly doubt he's messed up and just happens to be in the occult when he didn't act this way UNTIL he picked up the book. My dad never said he's an advent believer of magic but he speculated that was the cause. So if it wasn't the book that gave him nightmares, hallucination and what not that WHAT did? Does it ever occur to anyone that "crazy" people have an actual reason for being crazy? Maybe the voices they hear are real and they are being infected by a demon or a negative spirit or force. If a body can be infected, couldn't a spirit be too?

So of course you won't think it's weird, because you tend to be in this kind of stuff, but collecting skulls is not a common hobby. What do people even do with the skulls anyway? He didn't play me either. If he did, I would have done what he told me to do, but I refused to get involved in that kind of stuff. Reading such stuff and doing such rituals can warp people's minds. As for his girlfriend, they didn't plan to have sex as they were still working things out, until he put on that stuff. I hear demons aren't willing to help people, like angels and demons from I've heard have to be threatened or coerced to help you.

We have all offered very similar opinions. We are all experienced with magic, occultism and human nature. You are obviously uninterested in our opinions and continue to make excuses. If we were arguing about this, I could see why you might have doubts. But you trusted us enough to bring this to us...and we all are agreeing on what is happening. What happened to your trust, other than we aren't telling you what you want to hear?

At this point, if you don't think we are right? Call a priest, an exorcist, a cult member. We can't help you.






And by the way, I'm not a dark practitioner at all, and I collect skulls. I have dozens. It is a sign of nothing.

[Alienist]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

We have all offered very similar opinions. We are all experienced with magic, occultism and human nature. You are obviously uninterested in our opinions and continue to make excuses. If we were arguing about this, I could see why you might have doubts. But you trusted us enough to bring this to us...and we all are agreeing on what is happening. What happened to your trust, other than we aren't telling you what you want to hear?

At this point, if you don't think we are right? Call a priest, an exorcist, a cult member. We can't help you.






And by the way, I'm not a dark practitioner at all, and I collect skulls. I have dozens. It is a sign of nothing.

I'm not uninterested in your opinions or others. Of course I'm going to agree with others and others I might not agree so much. I've already acknowledged that a lot of what you said does make sense as well as what others have said. I understand that both mundane and spiritual ways are the best to help me with this problem As far as mundane it's best if he goes into some kind of hospital and actually TALK to someone besides staying there for a small while, having pills and then being sent home. As far as spiritual goes, chants spiritual techniques and to shield, help and calm myself are the best ways to protect myself I believe.

[Rowanwood]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

I'm not uninterested in your opinions or others. Of course I'm going to agree with others and others I might not agree so much. I've already acknowledged that a lot of what you said does make sense as well as what others have said. I understand that both mundane and spiritual ways are the best to help me with this problem As far as mundane it's best if he goes into some kind of hospital and actually TALK to someone besides staying there for a small while, having pills and then being sent home. As far as spiritual goes, chants spiritual techniques and to shield, help and calm myself are the best ways to protect myself I believe.

Then it is time to take action.

[Alienist]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Then it is time to take action.

Perhaps so. I just want to be safe from him mostly because he's unpredictable. If he can't receive help, I will have to help myself. I just require some magic, chants, incantations, shielding and so forth to help protect myself against my brother, and people like him just to be safe. Sometimes I feel that communicating with certain gods and goddesses can help me if I ask. That's also one of the reasons I came here on this site was to choose my path, or have my path choose me. I felt that if I chose a path, practiced spiritual techniques, it would protect me against my brother. Since he's familiar with hexes and I'm not, that makes me feel kind of defenseless. I don't want to feel that anymore.

[Rowanwood]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Perhaps so. I just want to be safe from him mostly because he's unpredictable. If he can't receive help, I will have to help myself. I just require some magic, chants, incantations, shielding and so forth to help protect myself against my brother, and people like him just to be safe. Sometimes I feel that communicating with certain gods and goddesses can help me if I ask. That's also one of the reasons I came here on this site was to choose my path, or have my path choose me. I felt that if I chose a path, practiced spiritual techniques, it would protect me against my brother. Since he's familiar with hexes and I'm not, that makes me feel kind of defenseless. I don't want to feel that anymore.

As long as you understand that you need to take mundane action too -- literally staying away from him for starters -- there's nothing wrong with finding a point of personal strength in spirituality or magic. Please be careful that you don't make choices based on fear. Though I'm not Wiccan, there is a line in the Wiccan Rede that I think needs to apply to true spiritual practice: In perfect love and perfect trust.

If you don't feel that way about your chosen deity, then I think it may be a sign you aren't pointed in the right direction.

I did ask before, and I'll ask again, what do you believe?

[Alienist]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

As long as you understand that you need to take mundane action too -- literally staying away from him for starters -- there's nothing wrong with finding a point of personal strength in spirituality or magic. Please be careful that you don't make choices based on fear. Though I'm not Wiccan, there is a line in the Wiccan Rede that I think needs to apply to true spiritual practice: In perfect love and perfect trust.

If you don't feel that way about your chosen deity, then I think it may be a sign you aren't pointed in the right direction.

I did ask before, and I'll ask again, what do you believe?

Oh I know some mundane action must be taken, such as staying away from him, having him receive some professional help ect. But in life, I always feel one must have a balance between mundane and spiritual. I feel talking about this is somewhat therapeutic. I don't feel as afraid as I once was. I'm already afraid of lots of things in this life as it is and I certainly don't need to add my brother in my "List of things I am afraid of" It wouldn't be so bad or hurt so much if this was just a weirdo stranger or friend, but when it's my own flesh and blood, purposely hurting himself in exchange for some power, it's hard to watch really.

That's a very good question. I am not even sure what to believe in really which is also why I came on this site. To find my path and find out, which philosophy is best for me, which one fits my personality. I never knew what my path was and I hoped visiting here would help me discover it. Because I came here, I learned many things about Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Heathenry, Wicca, Druidism ect. That and if I practiced it's magic and spiritual techniques I wanted to be sure and know exactly what I'm doing before I do it, as I've heard rituals and spells, if done improperly, can back fire, even if your intentions are good. I just didn't want to take that chance until now. I've seriously considered Drudism as I have felt connections to nature, the trees, it's energy, it's pantheon, ect. so maybe this should be my path and this will help me. in some way, shape and form.

[Rowanwood]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Oh I know some mundane action must be taken, such as staying away from him, having him receive some professional help ect. But in life, I always feel one must have a balance between mundane and spiritual. I feel talking about this is somewhat therapeutic. I don't feel as afraid as I once was. I'm already afraid of lots of things in this life as it is and I certainly don't need to add my brother in my "List of things I am afraid of" It wouldn't be so bad or hurt so much if this was just a weirdo stranger or friend, but when it's my own flesh and blood, purposely hurting himself in exchange for some power, it's hard to watch really.

That's a very good question. I am not even sure what to believe in really which is also why I came on this site. To find my path and find out, which philosophy is best for me, which one fits my personality. I never knew what my path was and I hoped visiting here would help me discover it. Because I came here, I learned many things about Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Heathenry, Wicca, Druidism ect. That and if I practiced it's magic and spiritual techniques I wanted to be sure and know exactly what I'm doing before I do it, as I've heard rituals and spells, if done improperly, can back fire, even if your intentions are good. I just didn't want to take that chance until now. I've seriously considered Drudism as I have felt connections to nature, the trees, it's energy, it's pantheon, ect. so maybe this should be my path and this will help me. in some way, shape and form.

I'm glad to hear this is helping...and yes, it is good to balance mundane and spiritual -- to a lot of us there really is no dividing line between the two. The key thing is to remember that prayers and spells are tools to help you take action, not a crutch to avoid it.

If Druidism appeals to you, I'd suggest starting to read and research. And you know, a spell or a ritual is just a type of prayer. And there's nothing wrong with a good prayer for courage. I can assure you that it won't go wrong, even if you don't know who you are praying to or if you are doing it right as long as you pray with respect and then do what you need to in your life to back it up.

[Medusa]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Why don't you just go google a hex and do it.

[Alienist]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

Why don't you just go google a hex and do it.

That's the thing. I don't just "do it". It would be too impulsive to google the first hex I see and do it without even considering what the consequences are. I feel no need to know hexes as they can backfire too. I don't want to hex my brother, just help him. I feel better learning spells of healing, shielding and protection and only would be offensive if I had no choice. And if I'm into Druidism, I personally feel it'd be more appropriate studying Druidic magic.

[Medusa]

Re: My past and reasons being here.

That's the thing. I don't just "do it". It would be too impulsive to google the first hex I see and do it without even considering what the consequences are. I feel no need to know hexes as they can backfire too. I don't want to hex my brother, just help him. I feel better learning spells of healing, shielding and protection and only would be offensive if I had no choice. And if I'm into Druidism, I personally feel it'd be more appropriate studying Druidic magic.

What do you think a hex is? It's a spell. Just go on. Do it. You don't want to do anything other then magic. You are itching for it like a drug addict. You are looking for us to enable you in this magic quest. Suck it up. Do it. And get it over with. We can't do everything for you.