I don't talk about it a lot here, but my boyfriend is in a bit of a difficult career situation. He suffers from depression and it's caused him to abandon 2 different starts at his education. At the moment, he's working at certain international fast food chain, which is about all you can do in Germany without a degree or apprenticeship, and is very unhappy with it. On top of that, our household income is very low. His job doesn't earn much, and my job as a writer isn't exactly pulling in major money either. He wants to make a new start so that we can move on and afford to start a family, but he's 30 and in Germany, that makes things tough. They're very, very ageist here and many still think that 30 is "too old" to start studying and start a career afterwards. Still, it's not -too- late, so he's trying and seeing what happens.
Anyway, he got an interview for a co-op study program at a very famous research institute in the West (most co-op programs are tied to institutes and companies, not universities, unlike Canada, and you have to interview for them just like a job). It would be a fantastic opportunity for him, but it would also be very hard for us. I don't see how we could manage to afford two households and travel to see each other often enough over 4 years. I'd have to move there with him. I looked it up and I could sell the place here and afford a house there (which eased my fears of not being able to have something resembling a garden), but I'm still very reluctant to move there for a number of reasons:
-I don't like the region at all. It's in a very industrialized part of the country and it's very flat and bland as far as landscape is concerned. Goodbye, summer weekend days at the lakes. Goodbye, nature walks just outside the city. Goodbye, quick train rides to the Baltic Sea for a weekend away at the family cabin, Goodbye, picking fruit and wild herbs in the summer. Goodbye, fresh air.
-We fancied moving away from the big city in a few years when we had kids, but we thought we would move somewhere in Brandenburg where we could still pop into Berlin here and there. We love Berlin...he grew up here and I sort of grew up here (I moved here at 21, so I spent a lot of formative years in my 20s here).
-Although we could afford a house probably, it would have a tiny yard, which is disappointing considering the ideal move to Brandenburg could afford us quite a large property, as prices are much lower and there's much more space.
-It's so isolated. The town is 30,000 people, give or take, and near bigger cities like Cologne and Dusseldorf, but not really -that- close. There isn't really much of a connection and most people commute. I'd be limited to the area, or he would have to commute (he doesn't drive, and it's a very unpleasant commute).
-Work options would be very limited for me. I can't see anyone in that small of a place hiring a woman of child-bearing years (they're still a bit more discriminatory in smaller places in the west) who only has a bachelor's degree and doesn't speak German as a native language. I'd either have to commute a couple of hours into Cologne or Dusseldorf or keep freelancing. I don't mind freelancing and thought I might like to keep doing so anyway, but I like the idea of it being a choice, you know?
-SOCIAL LIFE. Seriously, we don't know ANYONE there and it's not that easy to meet new people at our age. We'd be far away from family as well. I feel like I'd be really isolated, staying at home working all day and then staying home all evening. It breaks my heart to think about it. I also have trouble meeting new people and my BF is introverted as well. It took me years and years just to find the friends I have here now, and that's in Berlin.
Anyway, I don't want anyone to pray that he won't get an offer, because I feel that it wouldn't be fair to him and what if that's all that comes up? We can't really keep on going like we are now, unless we give up on the idea of having children, so if that's all that comes up, we'll have to compromise and move. What I would like to ask is that anyone who wants to prays that he gets a good offer in or near Berlin so that we can stay here. Heck, I'd even be fine with Leipzig or Dresden, if moving somewhere else ends up being the only option.
It's definitely not for sure...it's just an interview and it's not even for another few weeks, but I wanted to give the universe time to sort things out
Anyway, he got an interview for a co-op study program at a very famous research institute in the West (most co-op programs are tied to institutes and companies, not universities, unlike Canada, and you have to interview for them just like a job). It would be a fantastic opportunity for him, but it would also be very hard for us. I don't see how we could manage to afford two households and travel to see each other often enough over 4 years. I'd have to move there with him. I looked it up and I could sell the place here and afford a house there (which eased my fears of not being able to have something resembling a garden), but I'm still very reluctant to move there for a number of reasons:
-I don't like the region at all. It's in a very industrialized part of the country and it's very flat and bland as far as landscape is concerned. Goodbye, summer weekend days at the lakes. Goodbye, nature walks just outside the city. Goodbye, quick train rides to the Baltic Sea for a weekend away at the family cabin, Goodbye, picking fruit and wild herbs in the summer. Goodbye, fresh air.
-We fancied moving away from the big city in a few years when we had kids, but we thought we would move somewhere in Brandenburg where we could still pop into Berlin here and there. We love Berlin...he grew up here and I sort of grew up here (I moved here at 21, so I spent a lot of formative years in my 20s here).
-Although we could afford a house probably, it would have a tiny yard, which is disappointing considering the ideal move to Brandenburg could afford us quite a large property, as prices are much lower and there's much more space.
-It's so isolated. The town is 30,000 people, give or take, and near bigger cities like Cologne and Dusseldorf, but not really -that- close. There isn't really much of a connection and most people commute. I'd be limited to the area, or he would have to commute (he doesn't drive, and it's a very unpleasant commute).
-Work options would be very limited for me. I can't see anyone in that small of a place hiring a woman of child-bearing years (they're still a bit more discriminatory in smaller places in the west) who only has a bachelor's degree and doesn't speak German as a native language. I'd either have to commute a couple of hours into Cologne or Dusseldorf or keep freelancing. I don't mind freelancing and thought I might like to keep doing so anyway, but I like the idea of it being a choice, you know?
-SOCIAL LIFE. Seriously, we don't know ANYONE there and it's not that easy to meet new people at our age. We'd be far away from family as well. I feel like I'd be really isolated, staying at home working all day and then staying home all evening. It breaks my heart to think about it. I also have trouble meeting new people and my BF is introverted as well. It took me years and years just to find the friends I have here now, and that's in Berlin.
Anyway, I don't want anyone to pray that he won't get an offer, because I feel that it wouldn't be fair to him and what if that's all that comes up? We can't really keep on going like we are now, unless we give up on the idea of having children, so if that's all that comes up, we'll have to compromise and move. What I would like to ask is that anyone who wants to prays that he gets a good offer in or near Berlin so that we can stay here. Heck, I'd even be fine with Leipzig or Dresden, if moving somewhere else ends up being the only option.
It's definitely not for sure...it's just an interview and it's not even for another few weeks, but I wanted to give the universe time to sort things out
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