dog tips?

[Rhaethe]

Re: dog tips?

I met a lady yesterday who said she adopted a dog a little while ago, and she hated him for the first month and a half she had him. After that, she said he was alright, and now they seem fine.

And if I lived alone, I would definitely consider giving him back. But I don't - my partner and I live together, but he's out of town right now, and he's the one who REALLY wants the puppy. When we discussed giving him back, he got really upset, because he hasn't had a chance to hang out with the little dude yet.

The puppy's alright, I suppose. Although he did cry from 2am-7am the other morning, and that was definitely not alright with me. My main concern is just that A) I haven't seen my cat in days, and actually have to carry him down the stairs and put him outside, because otherwise he stays hiding in the bedroom and never moves. After two days of not eating, I had to move his food upstairs. I love my cat more than I love my partner - ergo, this bothers me. B) I already have only a few hours a day to myself. I spend two hours driving to work/back, 9 hours at work, I only ever get about 6 hours of sleep, and the rest of the days hours are grocery shopping, watering my community garden, volunteering at the shelter, etc. So really, I only have about an hour in the morning and maybe 3 in the evening to give to this puppy. I'm not going to bed until midnight anymore, because I get home from work at 7-8pm, start dinner, eat by maybe 9-10pm, and then have to walk a puppy.

I don't even have time to clean my house (which the puppy is quickly turning into a warzone).

I just had no idea dogs were this much work. I thought they'd be like big cats. You know, let's go for a walk, let's go for a drive, let's go camping, oh, we're home, here's some food and a chew toy, go chill out for the rest of the day and let me cuddle the cat.

So I feel really torn. I mean, sometimes, having a puppy is alright. Like when we're walking and he's chasing dragonflies and butterflies and trying to eat them. Or yesterday, when I got him to 'roll over' for the first time on command. But when he's crying, chewing, peeing on the deck (admittedly only twice), running up the stairs after I've showed him a hundred times DO NOT GO UP THE STAIRS, pulling used tampons out of my bathroom garbage bin, being locked up on the patio at home so that I can't ever do anything after work without driving 40 minutes home and then 40 minutes back into town...well, then I want to give him back. And when I think about having a dog living in my house and making it dirty and smelling like dog for the next 15 years, I want to give him back. And I feel the WORST because we've talked about getting a dog for a long time, and it was ME who volunteers at the SPCA and found this guy and introduced him to my partner, but it's my partner that fell in love with the puppy, and he's the one who isn't home right now, and who probably won't be home for the rest of the summer, except for a week here, and a week there. So I can't give him back at least until my partner comes home and meets the doggy and sees how much work a puppy is. And we have to move in two weeks, which will make some things easier (the commute) and I did just find a doggy day care that we're talking about sending him to once a week for puppy socialization time, but we haven't found a place to live yet because nowhere allows dogs, and the cheapest place we've found that does is $2400/month. Which is $600/month more than where we are now (where I am not affording to live). But I suppose we could find roommates, since there is more than one bedroom.

So I've got at least another week of not sleeping, and not having time to do anything before he gets home and can finally share puppy responsibilities.

I am not sure if I have the right to be bluntly honest with you ... However.

I bolded the important bits I am going to address. Dogs can be a lot of time and work as compared to cats. Some aren't! GSD and GSD mixes are, however. They require a lot of time. A lot of work. GSD's especially need an exceptional amount of training time as they are HIGHLY protective and territorial. Perhaps not so much as a pup, but definitely as they get older. They WILL bite without warning what they perceive as a threat to home or person if they are not socialized and trained appropriately. Cats may or may not be iffy things as the puppy grows older, even if they are brought up with one. Depends highly on the individual dog on how high their prey drive actually is. I've known some to adore cats in general. Some adore only "their" cat. Some are fine as a puppy but lunge and attack as they grow older. It depends. And the only way you will be able to work with that is by having TIME to spend with the puppy regularly. Socializing, adjusting, training.

Taking on a dog into one's life is not like taking on a fashion accessory that you can show off when it pleases you and put away when it is inconvenient. Not saying that you think this, but I see it often in other people. When bringing a dog into a partnered relationship, BOTH partners need to be ok with it. BOTH need to share in the responsibilities. For someone to insist upon keeping the puppy when they themselves are not going to be around to handle care is, frankly, sliding into the realm of selfishness. And adding in the factor of a roommate brings in a whole new level of responsibility and complication.

Currently, your and your partner's life situation, as you have described it, is not conducive to raising a well adjusted dog, no less a GSD breed. It just isn't.

If your partner has their heart set on a dog, once you both have a bit more time available, consider adopting an adult dog (4+ years) that is already socialized and trained.

- - - Updated - - -

I just read your other post on "What are you thinking right now" and I feel really bad about posting. And I really want to emphasize that I do not intend to make you feel bad. Not having a good situation for a puppy right now does not make you a bad person, nor should you feel bad about it. Not at all!

You are very good people ... for asking for tips, and discussing whether or not it is the right thing. You should not feel like a bag of dicks.

And honestly, only YOU know your situation. I can only give my opinion based upon what I perceive as I read. Don't take me for gospel.

[Rae'ya]

Re: dog tips?

I met a lady yesterday who said she adopted a dog a little while ago, and she hated him for the first month and a half she had him. After that, she said he was alright, and now they seem fine.

And if I lived alone, I would definitely consider giving him back. But I don't - my partner and I live together, but he's out of town right now, and he's the one who REALLY wants the puppy. When we discussed giving him back, he got really upset, because he hasn't had a chance to hang out with the little dude yet.

The puppy's alright, I suppose. Although he did cry from 2am-7am the other morning, and that was definitely not alright with me. My main concern is just that A) I haven't seen my cat in days, and actually have to carry him down the stairs and put him outside, because otherwise he stays hiding in the bedroom and never moves. After two days of not eating, I had to move his food upstairs. I love my cat more than I love my partner - ergo, this bothers me. B) I already have only a few hours a day to myself. I spend two hours driving to work/back, 9 hours at work, I only ever get about 6 hours of sleep, and the rest of the days hours are grocery shopping, watering my community garden, volunteering at the shelter, etc. So really, I only have about an hour in the morning and maybe 3 in the evening to give to this puppy. I'm not going to bed until midnight anymore, because I get home from work at 7-8pm, start dinner, eat by maybe 9-10pm, and then have to walk a puppy.

I don't even have time to clean my house (which the puppy is quickly turning into a warzone).

I just had no idea dogs were this much work. I thought they'd be like big cats. You know, let's go for a walk, let's go for a drive, let's go camping, oh, we're home, here's some food and a chew toy, go chill out for the rest of the day and let me cuddle the cat.

So I feel really torn. I mean, sometimes, having a puppy is alright. Like when we're walking and he's chasing dragonflies and butterflies and trying to eat them. Or yesterday, when I got him to 'roll over' for the first time on command. But when he's crying, chewing, peeing on the deck (admittedly only twice), running up the stairs after I've showed him a hundred times DO NOT GO UP THE STAIRS, pulling used tampons out of my bathroom garbage bin, being locked up on the patio at home so that I can't ever do anything after work without driving 40 minutes home and then 40 minutes back into town...well, then I want to give him back. And when I think about having a dog living in my house and making it dirty and smelling like dog for the next 15 years, I want to give him back. And I feel the WORST because we've talked about getting a dog for a long time, and it was ME who volunteers at the SPCA and found this guy and introduced him to my partner, but it's my partner that fell in love with the puppy, and he's the one who isn't home right now, and who probably won't be home for the rest of the summer, except for a week here, and a week there. So I can't give him back at least until my partner comes home and meets the doggy and sees how much work a puppy is. And we have to move in two weeks, which will make some things easier (the commute) and I did just find a doggy day care that we're talking about sending him to once a week for puppy socialization time, but we haven't found a place to live yet because nowhere allows dogs, and the cheapest place we've found that does is $2400/month. Which is $600/month more than where we are now (where I am not affording to live). But I suppose we could find roommates, since there is more than one bedroom.

So I've got at least another week of not sleeping, and not having time to do anything before he gets home and can finally share puppy responsibilities.

There may be some differences in the genetic lines between GSDs in Australia and the US/Canada (about the only time I'll lump them together... because being on the same continent the breeders probably share their lines)... but here in Australia our GSDs are bred for personality and there are very few of the highly territorial and protective type left. The GSD and Rottweiler clubs have been working very hard to breed the aggressiveness out of them (which is one of the few things I can commend breed clubs for). We do, however, have a high proportion of GSDs who are prone to anxiety disorders, and this can lead to issues such as antisocial behaviour.

V, I wonder if it would be worth considering another breed, if your partner is dead set on having a dog. It's a little unfair of him to saddle you with the responsibility of a highly intelligent and social puppy completely on your own. Age is important here... the 'formative years' for this puppy are NOW, in the first 3-4 months of life. This is when the routines and boundaries and expectations are learned the best, as well as how to interact with other dogs/people/animals. It is possible to socialise older dogs, but if they learn the wrong things now it can be difficult to retrain them. It's easier to teach good habits than break old ones and re-teach.

In the meantime lets work on some specific strategies. It sounds like we've got at least a week before any decisions can be made anyway, so lets do as much good as we can in that week, then see how we feel. Are you up for that?

Our main issues I think are toilet training and leaving him alone in the day. And your cat.

Your cat:
This is completely natural... and he would likely be doing this no matter what sort of creature you bought into your house. Let him hide under the bed. Better yet, give him a baby gate or something at your door so that only he can get into your room (if there's a door... upstairs is the bedroom loft, right? Can't recall if you said there was no door). Move his litter tray, food and water up into the room with him so that he doesn't have to go far. It takes a number of weeks for most cats to adjust to changes in the household, and withdrawing is the standard coping mechanism (or non-coping mechanism). He needs to be able to feel safe and secure upstairs. Teaching the puppy not to go up the stairs is a good idea, but the reality is that it'll take him a few weeks to get it. It might be worth investing in a baby gate or trying to rig up something similar, either at the top or the bottom of the stairs. Tall enough that it's a barrier for puppy but low enough that your cat can jump over it. Move everything for the cat upstairs and put it close so that he doesn't have to go far. He'll get through this. If he starts spraying urine then let me know... this is the next tier up of anxiety based behaviours and indicates that he's really not coping. There are things we can do about that, but if we can give him his own space now then he'll hopefully come around... most cats do.

Leaving Tyrion Alone:
Is the covered patio an option? Lets leave the toilet accidents out of it for now as I think it would be a good idea to try puppy pads in your case (I'll talk about that in a sec). Indoors doesn't sound like an option as it's not your house nor your furniture, which complicates things. Outdoors isn't really an option as you don't have fences and chaining him up IS NOT an option. Crating him during the day and night is unfair. So... can we use the covered patio and move his open crate out there during the day? Does he have some interesting and interactive toys? I would also recommend that you try to get a hold of a Kong or a Treat Ball or Buster Cube of some description to feed him out of... this will provide mental stimulation and give him something to do.

During the night... did you give him a hot water bottle and put the radio on for him? If not then try this. In his crate does he have some snuggly bedding?

Toilet Training:
Can you get hold of some puppy pads/wee wee pads/whatever they're called where you are? They are basically just absorbent incontinence sheets the same as what they put on elderly people's chairs. You can do it with newspaper or with a square of fake grass or anything really, but actual absorbent pads make it easier to clean up. Puppy pads also come with a little bottle of some fake urine that you are supposed to drop on the pad to encourage puppy to use it. You can mimic this by putting a drop of something ammonia based on there. So you could theoretically use newspaper and a single drop of bleach if you want a low cost option. I don't normally recommend doing it that way, but we need some immediate damage control measures for you and most people have newspaper and bleach (or some other ammonia based cleaning product) around somewhere.

Put the puppy pad/newspaper on the ground somewhere you want him to go, then put a single drop of ammonia stuff on there. Just one single drop, don't pour a blob on. And make sure that you have enough layers that it wont go through to the floor as I'm sure your landlord would not like bleach spots on the floor or deck. A single drop on multiple layers of newspaper shouldn't make marks. And the absorbent pads have plastic backing anything on those wont reach the floor anyway. Encourage Tyrion to pee on the paper by rewarding him when he does it. This can be tricky, because you have to be there and see him do it to be able to reward him, but do what you can manage.

Do NOT clean up other messes with an ammonia based cleaner. If you can't get an enzyme based cleaner (we use a washing powder called BioZet, but anything that is enzyme based will work), use detergent. The ammonia will encourage peeing in that spot... so save it for the paper/puppy pad. Everything else, everywhere else in the house, use enzyme cleaner or detergent.

Your own sanity:
Ignore him when he jumps up on you and ask him to sit before you pat him or talk to him. I'm gathering that the needy puppy attention seeking stuff grates on you... so work on teaching him that he doesn't get the attention unless he sits at your feet. You will still get the licks and the climbing into your lap to a certain extent, but just gently remove him, sit him next to you THEN pat and talk to him. Try to make every single bit of attention you give him be on YOUR terms, with him sitting or standing next to you. Feel free to ignore the rest. He'll start to learn that to get your attention he has to sit at your feet. Talk quietly, breathe deeply and slowly, move slowly and stay as calm as you can. Any loud, high pitched noises, waving of arms, quick movements and excitable behaviour will just arouse him further... keep that for play time. At all other times stop, take a deep breath and try to be as calm as possible... it goes a long way.

You might also want to research Puppy Massage. There are tons of sites our there about it but it's dead simple. Pick a time when he is natural quiet, then run your hands over him in long gently strokes, circular strokes around his ears, long curving strokes over his shoulders. I find it easiest to sit them so that their back is between your legs when you crouch and they are facing away from you. Breathe slow and deep, whisper soothingly. Just go for a few minutes while he's calm and he'll start to associate massage with calm.

All this is aimed at calming him. If you calm him and teach him that the aroused stuff doesn't get him attention, you'll find that you enjoy him more. He will still need some active play and boisterous time, but we're trying to channel that into play time. Try to do play time outside also, and calm time inside.

Remember:
People think that training is about firm commands and making him do what you want. That's not really true. They are incredibly sensitive to your body language and will learn much more from your behaviour than anything else. Keep your own behaviour in check and your reactions to him controlled and he'll learn a lot quicker. Calm, consistency and follow through are important.