13 year old girl says 'I consented'

[InspiringRaine]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

I think, this topic is extremely difficult to explore, and even more difficult to answer. The children in question may have said yes to sex, but the ability to consent is directly related to the ability to not consent, as pointed out to me by somebody I brought the subject up to. What makes this complicated, is the mental capabilities of a 13 year old, versus any other person of an older age. I'm not speaking of a 21 year old, but I'm speaking of a 14-15-16 yr old. Where it's still legal for the two in question to have sexual activities. I know, at 13 years old, I didn't feel that I had a firm grasp on the concept of consent to anything, and I never felt like I had the power to say no to anything, not even to somebody just a year older then me.

Direct quote from a website I'll link to at the bottom:

"The first failure was a point of "How do I know whether I want to say 'yes' or 'no'?" The lack of clearly articulate consent or nonconsent was in significant part because I had no idea how to construct the concept."

My personal belief is that at the age of 13 (Also clearly expressed in the quote), is that those of such a young age have no idea how to construct the concept of consent, and understand they have the capability to say No. That they understand they do not have to obey anybody older then them.

Clearly, there are exceptions, but currently? I do not believe the majority of teens have that understanding.

Link, as promised: http://lettersfromgehenna.blogspot.c...g-consent.html

----Edit-----

For some reason, the quote is blue on the skin I'm using. If you cannot read it, maybe try another skin? I couldn't read it, but it is a direct quote from the link.

[kalynraye]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

I disagree with you wholeheartedly. I'm almost 28 and I'm not ready for the responsibilities of being a mother. But I sure as hell can consent to sex.

Sex doesn't automatically = motherhood

Thank you so much for saying this!!! I am also 28 yes I was recently married but it doesn't mean I want to have kids yet. That answer right there is the reason women are losing our rights over our own bodies. Sex for women does not mean procreation... I will stop there because thats a WHOLE nother can of worms and I would be getting off topic. Can a 13 yo consent or should they have sex. Most 13 yo think they know everything. As much as I love Disney we have trained girls to believe that their sole purpose is to fall in love with a man. Well what comes with love? Sex, how do you prove this love? Sex. Should they be having sex at 13 no, I don't believe they should BUT if they are going to and children do a lot when parents aren't looking at least make sure they are educated.

P.s. if I found a 21 yo guy with my 13 yo daughter my husband wouldn't be the one with a shot gun it would be me.

[midgnostic]

[Doc_Holliday]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

Just as an add in. Canadian law considers the age of 12 the youngest somebody can consent to sex. But it can only be with somebody a maximum of five years older. So a 12 year old could consent to a 17 year old, a 13 to a 18, and so on. So that is the Canadian governments view, yes, but not to somebody far older.

[ChainLightning]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

Can a 13 year old consent to sex? Take the legal part out. I mean, is a 13 year old capable mentally of consenting?

Yes.

So can they make an adult decision such as deciding to sleep with a 21 year old?

Problem: "adult decision" is a fallacy.

Curiosity and/or enjoyment of sexual exploration is generally rather elemental to PRE-adults.

The issue, here, isn't with the kid. It's with the 21 year old. Of course a teen can consent to sex with an adult (forget the age span, for the moment). But responsibility is not in the hands of the teen, in that scenario, it's solely vested in the adult. There *is* a pretty vast and varied "gray area", so it comes down to generalities. In THAT sense, the span is important: The adult being 21? There could be problems if the teen as even as old as 16. The teen, though, is 13. Generally considered a child. The 21 year old held all the cards and failed. That's HIS problem.

SHE just needs experience and education, possibly a bit of guidance or counseling, but *she* isn't the problem. And nobody knows if she even *has* a problem -- they just assume so, since she's, then, sexually active at an age that's considered "too young". Which is vastly subjective.

What say you?

I miss your ethics and morality debates!

[Roknrol]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

^ This.

When I was 13 I was able to "consent" and I would have had every right to do so. But adults are supposed to ACT like adults, and that means not diddling children.

[Medusa]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

Here is your smart 12 year old making a decision. Scroll down for the video:
I can make a smart decision. What's that marshmallow burning smell? Oh that's me.

[ChainLightning]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

What's that marshmallow burning smell? Oh that's me.

I'm sorry but that is just friggen funny!




Witness: *sniff* Do you smell something burning?
Witless: Kinda smells like hotdogs. And alcohol. Is it getting warm in here?
Witness: Whoa!!! You got flames coming out of your pants!
Witless: Oh, that. Yeah, I lit myself on fire, to post on youtube. ...Waitwutwut? It's burning?! How did that happen??

/offtopic

[Rae'ya]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

Here is your smart 12 year old making a decision. Scroll down for the video:
I can make a smart decision. What's that marshmallow burning smell? Oh that's me.

I still wonder how much of this sort of idiocy is inbuilt and how much of it is the fact that no one seems to be teaching their children how to be responsible people anymore. If you want to coddle your kids, protect them from any form of consequence, provide them with everything with no input from them and not teach them basic life skills... well they're going to grow up to be useless idiots.

[Medusa]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

I still wonder how much of this sort of idiocy is inbuilt and how much of it is the fact that no one seems to be teaching their children how to be responsible people anymore. If you want to coddle your kids, protect them from any form of consequence, provide them with everything with no input from them and not teach them basic life skills... well they're going to grow up to be useless idiots.

Agreed. On the other hand, adults try to make children grow up too fast. IE don't fuck a kid you douche. That just makes fucked up adults. Something like that.

Oh and Chain. She didn't have alcohol. So she used perfume. Naturally.

[ChainLightning]

Re: 13 year old girl says 'I consented'

Oh and Chain. She didn't have alcohol. So she used perfume. Naturally.

Naturally. Ugh. Yeah, where was my thinking. LOL


But, in my defense, I thought perfume actually had alcohol in it, which explained why it doesn't puddle up well/fast evaporation rate. That's not to mention that some perfumes smell more like grain alcohol than some supposed attractor or erotic pseudo-imitation, quasi-pheromone-like, almost stink-pretty. (I know. Look, I wouldn't have such a negative view of the shit if certain women would stop BATHING in it. If I can smell that stink ass shit from a mile away, UPWIND, somebody needs a clue-by-four upside the head. Or... to be lit on fire while the shit's still wet.)