Hey everyone,
A couple years ago I did some really heavy research on Paganism, Wicca, Pantheism, and even some Buddhism, and I'm still not sure where I should be. My mom and my sister are both very Christian--this is not to say they are unaccepting or anything, but Christianity is just a huge part of their lives. There's no harsh feelings or anything like that, but then again, I've always sort of avoided sharing most of my feelings of disconnect from Christianity. I just don't agree with a lot of the ideas, though I was/am Methodist, and they are a pretty accepting bunch.
I just feel something so much more when I practice yoga or when I'm outside sitting in silence and just soaking up nature. I think I believe more in an energy that is pervasive in everything and that we can tap into and that we are actually a part of it. I don't think that the divine is outside of us necessarily or that we are doomed from birth.
I've always identified better with ideas of balance than with us being defiled by nature. I especially do not like the guilt that is pervasive in many Christian traditions.
That said, I've always struggled with feeling a connection to a deity.
Still, while it might seem obvious that I should be following a more nature-based religion or practice like Paganism, I've never been able to cross this imaginary bridge into converting. Instead, I've just gone through life feeling a little strange in church as a Creaster (Christmas/Easter church goer) and a little apprehensive of the spells and devotions that I see in Paganism. I think I would be happy as a Pagan and getting in touch with the history and the deeper self-discovery that seems to go along with it, but I just can't get there.
If you were not always Pagan, what made you decide and how did you go through that process? I imagine if I knew someone who was Pagan that would help me to see what it's like and I could experience things with them. After all, for me, religion seems as if it is supposed to be a community. It's especially hard for me because every single one of my close friends is Catholic and only one of them knows I've considered Paganism and while she's extremely accepting, I still feel a little odd talking to her about it.
Anyway, such are my 'struggles'. They're not as prominent in my life as they were, but I do wish I had a concrete belief. Maybe, I simply shouldn't be labeling anything, but I would like the community.
A couple years ago I did some really heavy research on Paganism, Wicca, Pantheism, and even some Buddhism, and I'm still not sure where I should be. My mom and my sister are both very Christian--this is not to say they are unaccepting or anything, but Christianity is just a huge part of their lives. There's no harsh feelings or anything like that, but then again, I've always sort of avoided sharing most of my feelings of disconnect from Christianity. I just don't agree with a lot of the ideas, though I was/am Methodist, and they are a pretty accepting bunch.
I just feel something so much more when I practice yoga or when I'm outside sitting in silence and just soaking up nature. I think I believe more in an energy that is pervasive in everything and that we can tap into and that we are actually a part of it. I don't think that the divine is outside of us necessarily or that we are doomed from birth.
I've always identified better with ideas of balance than with us being defiled by nature. I especially do not like the guilt that is pervasive in many Christian traditions.
That said, I've always struggled with feeling a connection to a deity.
Still, while it might seem obvious that I should be following a more nature-based religion or practice like Paganism, I've never been able to cross this imaginary bridge into converting. Instead, I've just gone through life feeling a little strange in church as a Creaster (Christmas/Easter church goer) and a little apprehensive of the spells and devotions that I see in Paganism. I think I would be happy as a Pagan and getting in touch with the history and the deeper self-discovery that seems to go along with it, but I just can't get there.
If you were not always Pagan, what made you decide and how did you go through that process? I imagine if I knew someone who was Pagan that would help me to see what it's like and I could experience things with them. After all, for me, religion seems as if it is supposed to be a community. It's especially hard for me because every single one of my close friends is Catholic and only one of them knows I've considered Paganism and while she's extremely accepting, I still feel a little odd talking to her about it.
Anyway, such are my 'struggles'. They're not as prominent in my life as they were, but I do wish I had a concrete belief. Maybe, I simply shouldn't be labeling anything, but I would like the community.
Comment