Not sure what to ask

[yyyywhy]

It's hard for me to describe my issues, and I don't know what I hope to achieve by discussing them. But I'll give this a try.

I'm in my 40's and most of my life I've been an atheist. A few years ago I met an old friend for a weekend to do some tourism, talk, drink, and eat. Weird things kept happening all weekend, but I ignored them. Then when I arrive home, one more weird thing happened and I started having psychosis with hallucinations and paranoia.

After a week the psychosis went away on its own with no treatment. I became a very religious Christian for a couple of years. During that time I had hallucinations or religious experiences, but they were months apart and usually only lasted a second and at most an hour. I don't think this matches the symptoms of psychosis (from what I have read).

After a year of church I started doubting Christianity, and then I quit going to church a year later. I haven't had any hallucinations for a couple of years.

My problem is that these hallucinations seemed completely real, and they still seem real. It is very hard for me to get back to being a non-superstitious atheist again. Certain things will make me suspicious. For example, coincidental timing of an email might make me worried that the person is clairvoyant. I know these suspicions are ridiculous but they can become very stressful and remind me that I don't have a clue what is real anymore. These feeling vary with my psychological state. Sometimes I feel very normal and other times I feel weird.

I hoped that maybe somebody here would understand what I am talking about and have some thoughts.

[InspiringRaine]

Re: Not sure what to ask

I'm going to suggest to you that you schedule an appointment with your Family Medicine doctor, and describe to him/her these experiences you're describing here. I'd even suggest to you that you ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, who will know more about whether this is psychosis symptoms or not. We are people online, and cannot tell you whether you're experiencing psychosis symptoms. Well, we can, but it'd be a poor thing for anybody to do unless they're certified as a mental health professional.

[yyyywhy]

Re: Not sure what to ask

I'm going to suggest to you that you schedule an appointment with your Family Medicine doctor, and describe to him/her these experiences you're describing here. I'd even suggest to you that you ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, who will know more about whether this is psychosis symptoms or not. We are people online, and cannot tell you whether you're experiencing psychosis symptoms. Well, we can, but it'd be a poor thing for anybody to do unless they're certified as a mental health professional.

Thanks, InspiringRaine, that is good advice. I did describe these experiences to a therapist several years ago, and she told me I had experienced psychosis. At that time I did not know about hallucinations and psychosis, so her diagnosis was helpful.

My problem now is that reminders or odd coincidences can get me started again trying to understand what really happened during that period of my life, and this leads to anxiety, depression, spacing-out, getting lost in thought, etc. As an example, as I was reading a history book, I noticed several people on one page with odd names (like "Mr. Friendly"). This bothered me, because it seemed like a signal from something outside this reality to remind me that all of this is bogus.

Normally I'm fine, but every month or so something will trigger these concerns and I struggle for a day or two.

Sometimes I wonder if something supernatural triggered my psychosis. In other words, what I experienced was a mixture of supernatural and psychosis.

I understand it is hard to offer advice or ideas - especially where mental health might be an issue.

[Gleb]

Re: Not sure what to ask

I'm going to suggest to you that you schedule an appointment with your Family Medicine doctor, and describe to him/her these experiences you're describing here. I'd even suggest to you that you ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, who will know more about whether this is psychosis symptoms or not. We are people online, and cannot tell you whether you're experiencing psychosis symptoms. Well, we can, but it'd be a poor thing for anybody to do unless they're certified as a mental health professional.

I second this.
The sender of the email can be clairvoyant, and can be not. But it has no connection to what you are experiencing. As InspiringRaine wrote - it would be best for you to visit a doctor. Just in case.

[yyyywhy]

Re: Not sure what to ask

I second this.
The sender of the email can be clairvoyant, and can be not. But it has no connection to what you are experiencing. As InspiringRaine wrote - it would be best for you to visit a doctor. Just in case.

O.k. I have been thinking about doing that anyway.