I hate this feeling....

[Gleb]

Re: I hate this feeling....

This is an interesting article for you: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-st...s-9668865.html

Very interesting article, Tylluan. I don't live in such a community, and it's not that critical where I live, but through the years, it affected me a little. But it has started to vanish.

[thalassa]

Re: I hate this feeling....

The best advice I can give here is to read. You still live with your family and you are in school and not yet working in a career, so your experiental chances are still a bit limited for a while--its not like you can travel the world or anything yet!

My extended maternal family (beyond my mom and grandparents) contains some of the most racist, sexist, bigoted, Christianist assholes that live (short of belonging to the KKK or something). The difference to me seems to be two things--education (including self-education) and experience. Those persons that have at least a bachelor's degree or a master's degree, or spent time in the military, or are big readers or travelers have a strong tendency to be open minded and compassionate towards folks that are different.

So read...read about people that live in other countries, part of other religions, etc. Fiction, nonfiction, doesn't really matter (a mix of both is probably better)...watch documentaries (there are some awesome documentaries out there detailing how people live in their communities), etc. Virtual experiences still change your brain patterning, as if they are actual experiences.

[Heka]

Thanks very much for all your advices, they are really helpful. And yes, I agree here that the solution to this problemme is exposure to other people.
Thanks very much to all of you!! ^_^

Good luck with this Gleb I can imagine that talking to other people will be helpful. Be careful just talking here though. Because we are just letters on a screen, and not the skin colours/accents/appearances/etc that we are irl, and while we can help broaden your mind, people have a tendency to just apply their knowledge of these things to words. I'm really bad at just assuming everyone is white (even when I know better) and I would never pick anyone to be an indigenous australian unless they said, as an example. The more you physically interact with others, the more helpful this process will be.

When you can, of course

[Rae'ya]

Re: I hate this feeling....

Guys, some of you know that I come to a Jewish family from South-Eastern Ukraine. My family arrived Israel when I was 3. I got Israeli education (I have 2 more grades left, but it doesn't matter right now) .
So as a part of my education, I was sometimes given a bad opinion about all other people who are not Jewish. There is a term in Hebrew for these people: "גויים" (Read as - "Goim"). It's just a word for people who aren't jewish, without any offense. But the religious Jews (Not all, but at least the ones I lived with) don't like those who aren't Jewish. Mostly it's seen in religious people here.

And there is a small piece of it within me. It's still a little bit strange and unusual for me, to talk to someone who's not Jewish, to mix meat and milky things (it's forbidden in Judaism). And I f****** hate this feeling. You guys here in PF are super awesome, and I consider you to be my family. And I want to stop feeling the annoying feeling described above. Because disliking the rest of the world because it's not like one single nation is madness, and unfair.

Any help will be most appreciated and welcome.

- - - Updated - - -

P.S.
I don't say anything against any kind of Jews, but it's just something that developed in their consciousness over the years.

Hon, you've already taken the first step to getting past this odd feeling! You've identified it, you've identified that you don't like it, and you've identified where it comes from. It's perfectly natural for you to have picked up that inherent prejudice... we are all affected by the environment that we are raised in, even if we don't like to admit it. The fact that you've recognised it and know that you want to move away from it means that you CAN move away from it. So many people are blind to this sort of inherent prejudice and so perpetuate it and pass it on to their children. You're young, you're intelligent and you've got your whole life ahead of you. You'll get past this.

[Gleb]

Re: I hate this feeling....

Thanks very much Thal, Heka, Rae'ya! I've spent almost the whole day thinking about it in depth. Finally,I came to the conclusion that I just need to get to know more people, their traditions, religion and get to know them as much as possible. After all, the world is huge (at least when comparing to us - humans).

BUT!!!! I wouldn't have been able to do start this progress without all of you. So, I bow to all of you, and thanks again.

My dad sometimes says that I am too polite because I say "thanks" too much... Meh....

[anunitu]

Re: I hate this feeling....

I think exposure to different cultures is a key factor in becoming less inclined to these feelings. I myself grew up in a multi-cultural background. I went to school with many different races and cultures. I went to other kids homes and shared food and culture with them and their families. I count myself very fortunate to have been exposed to the varied cultures at a young age. Also,you yourself decide your beliefs and reactions to others, what others do and say can effect your reactions ,BUT you must sift through everything and build your own beliefs on these matters.

[nbdy]

Re: I hate this feeling....

Several have considered Judaism as religion, ethnicity, or culture in considering this situation. I do not know realities on the ground in Israel, but my experiences with Jewish friends in Texas and here in the DC area have informed me that Judaism is mostly considered a race. There is a reformed faction with looser guidelines, but amongst those I've known well enough to discuss the topic with any depth it is not possible in their minds to be Jewish unless one's mother is Jewish. It is a matter of bloodline, not belief. Yes, the religious and cultural implications are part of the package, but are secondary to having verifiable Jewish bloodline. The good news for me was that it is apparently possible to be a mensch even if you are a goy; however, the initial uncertainty is there. The trust accorded a Jew quite naturally must be earned by a goy like me -- even in the good-ol' "inclusive" USA. That's an important thing to remember, I guess, Gleb, is that your situation is not unique to your country. Right now in my country there is a racial melt-down going on in the heartland. People are people no matter where you go, the only thing you truly control is the type of person you choose to be in the middle of all the madness.

[Doc_Holliday]

Re: I hate this feeling....

I might be thinking a little too simply here, but I don't see fixing this as being a huge journey or hard. I'm being serious when I say I was raised in a small town with maybe one black person, and no other ethnicities besides white. I was raised around some pretty bad racism, my grandfather had an affinity for the N word, my uncle hated middle easterners, black people, Natives, you name it. My mother didn't think we should allow immigrants, I could go on. Yet I never agreed with it because I knew better, I have hardly talked to more than a handful of black people in my whole life, barely having full conversations at least. Yet I know they are not bad, inferior, or deserving of any negativity because of their skin colour. Same with all other ethnicities and respectful religions. I just knew better, tuned it out, and moved on. To me racism is a choice, not some long term problem that needs a lot of work to fix.

Step 1. Realize it's wrong to have those thoughts. (Gleb is already here)
Step 2. Stop.

[Varga]

Re: I hate this feeling....

I wasn't been brought up to be an Christian (my both parents are atheists), but in Finland Christianity is teached in schools, so it was all hell fires and Devil this, Devil that stuff from first grade to sixth. I was quite confused (and scared) because things that i was told at home, and things that was taught at school didn't add up.
"Are my parents going to hell because they don't believe in god? Am i going to hell because some Eve did something at the beginning of time and god cursed all the women? Is my grandfather worshiping Satan when he takes food to anthills as a gift to Elves and our forefathers who are living in the underworld?"
That is quite a lot to think about to a kid who can barely tie her shoelaces or ride a bike without jockey wheels.
Thank gods our religious teacher changed and our new teacher 'had all the indians in the canoe'. She didn't bash our heads with a bible. She talked more about ethics - what's right and what's wrong, and she also talked about how dangerous combination a charismatic leaders and religion can be. Jim Jones and he's suicide cult was just one example. She talked religious history in Finland (Finland was turned to Christianity at 1200 century) and encouraged us to find out our own family history.
"You all will find lots of pagans from your family tree", she said with a smirk on her face.
Having pagans, witches, healers (and odd grandfather) in the family didn't surprise me but what did surprise me was how my family suddenly didn't want to talk about them when i started to ask questions. (My grandparents told me more about pagans in the family when i was 'old enough' - when i was at my late 20's.)
So i didn't get much of an answers from my family when i was a teenager, but i read everything that i can find about old Finnish believes (very hard to find), Sami religion and Norse mythology. And what i did find made much more sense than all that hellfire that was poured on me at school. And it did make me feel much more better about my self. "Huh, i'm not going to hell - and neither is grandpa."
I've been pagan ever since, but i still have some flashbacks of those religion lessons that i had as a kid. It makes me quite angry - why in the hell did they taught that s**t to small children - but i try to ignore those flashbacks and do something that makes me feel better.


I didn't mean to made this answer to your post this long, but i thought that i have to explain my self a bit, before i suggest that maybe you should try to dig up your roots (or Ukranian history and folklore) and see what you can find out.
It helped me - so maybe it may help you also.

[Gleb]

Re: I hate this feeling....

Several have considered Judaism as religion, ethnicity, or culture in considering this situation. I do not know realities on the ground in Israel, but my experiences with Jewish friends in Texas and here in the DC area have informed me that Judaism is mostly considered a race. There is a reformed faction with looser guidelines, but amongst those I've known well enough to discuss the topic with any depth it is not possible in their minds to be Jewish unless one's mother is Jewish. It is a matter of bloodline, not belief. Yes, the religious and cultural implications are part of the package, but are secondary to having verifiable Jewish bloodline. The good news for me was that it is apparently possible to be a mensch even if you are a goy; however, the initial uncertainty is there. The trust accorded a Jew quite naturally must be earned by a goy like me -- even in the good-ol' "inclusive" USA. That's an important thing to remember, I guess, Gleb, is that your situation is not unique to your country. Right now in my country there is a racial melt-down going on in the heartland. People are people no matter where you go, the only thing you truly control is the type of person you choose to be in the middle of all the madness.

It can be a bit troublesome when talking about the world "Jewish". It can be understood both as a nationality and as a religion. You are right that it's enough to be a born to a Jewish mother.

People are people no matter where you go, the only thing you truly control is the type of person you choose to be in the middle of all the madness.

- True. It's not going to be easy, but it's something that must be done. At least for me.

I might be thinking a little too simply here, but I don't see fixing this as being a huge journey or hard. I'm being serious when I say I was raised in a small town with maybe one black person, and no other ethnicities besides white. I was raised around some pretty bad racism, my grandfather had an affinity for the N word, my uncle hated middle easterners, black people, Natives, you name it. My mother didn't think we should allow immigrants, I could go on. Yet I never agreed with it because I knew better, I have hardly talked to more than a handful of black people in my whole life, barely having full conversations at least. Yet I know they are not bad, inferior, or deserving of any negativity because of their skin colour. Same with all other ethnicities and respectful religions. I just knew better, tuned it out, and moved on. To me racism is a choice, not some long term problem that needs a lot of work to fix.

Step 1. Realize it's wrong to have those thoughts. (Gleb is already here)
Step 2. Stop.

I'm on my way to step 2. And... I'm moving pretty quickly.

- - - Updated - - -

I wasn't been brought up to be an Christian (my both parents are atheists), but in Finland Christianity is teached in schools, so it was all hell fires and Devil this, Devil that stuff from first grade to sixth. I was quite confused (and scared) because things that i was told at home, and things that was taught at school didn't add up.
"Are my parents going to hell because they don't believe in god? Am i going to hell because some Eve did something at the beginning of time and god cursed all the women? Is my grandfather worshiping Satan when he takes food to anthills as a gift to Elves and our forefathers who are living in the underworld?"
That is quite a lot to think about to a kid who can barely tie her shoelaces or ride a bike without jockey wheels.
Thank gods our religious teacher changed and our new teacher 'had all the indians in the canoe'. She didn't bash our heads with a bible. She talked more about ethics - what's right and what's wrong, and she also talked about how dangerous combination a charismatic leaders and religion can be. Jim Jones and he's suicide cult was just one example. She talked religious history in Finland (Finland was turned to Christianity at 1200 century) and encouraged us to find out our own family history.
"You all will find lots of pagans from your family tree", she said with a smirk on her face.
Having pagans, witches, healers (and odd grandfather) in the family didn't surprise me but what did surprise me was how my family suddenly didn't want to talk about them when i started to ask questions. (My grandparents told me more about pagans in the family when i was 'old enough' - when i was at my late 20's.)
So i didn't get much of an answers from my family when i was a teenager, but i read everything that i can find about old Finnish believes (very hard to find), Sami religion and Norse mythology. And what i did find made much more sense than all that hellfire that was poured on me at school. And it did make me feel much more better about my self. "Huh, i'm not going to hell - and neither is grandpa."
I've been pagan ever since, but i still have some flashbacks of those religion lessons that i had as a kid. It makes me quite angry - why in the hell did they taught that s**t to small children - but i try to ignore those flashbacks and do something that makes me feel better.


I didn't mean to made this answer to your post this long, but i thought that i have to explain my self a bit, before i suggest that maybe you should try to dig up your roots (or Ukranian history and folklore) and see what you can find out.
It helped me - so maybe it may help you also.

Thanks, I'll try. I'm not sure if I can find something specifically on this topic, but I won't know unless I do some research about it.

[Doc_Holliday]

Re: I hate this feeling....

Good on you Gleb, good luck.