Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

[anunitu]

Ok,gonna get nostalgic up in here.

Did you at some point "Change" as in your life philosophy,direction,The big mid life(or point of wondering where you are going).

So the question is have you ever hit a point where you had to rethink your life.?

[Nightingale]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

(first: congrats on the Bowie reference in the title. you go.)

yes, I have changed more times than I can count. the world molds and shapes us and over time we become completely different people than who we were... at least that's the way I look at it. personally I think my changes are for the better. I look back at who I used to be and shudder, because if I met that person on the street now I'd probably slap her across the face and tell her to get her life together and stop being an idiot.

there have been plenty of points where I had to stop and rethink what I was doing, for several different reasons. the earliest I can remember was when I was a teenager. I was peer-pressured into a lot of things in high school, and after several years of that I finally grew a backbone and realized I needed to separate myself from those controlling, manipulative assholes. I would be going along my way, doing something, then I would stop and think "why are you doing this? you hate it. stop." I went to college, got new friends, and figured out how to be my own person. I changed.

I was raised to think that, in order to be "good," I had to be perfectly Christian and unquestioningly heterosexual. now I know that's not the case. I had an epiphany one day and realized that Christianity was not the only option. I was trying to reconcile my life choices with the need to be a "good Christian," and I realized I didn't need to be a Christian at all. I found a path that actually worked for me. years later, I figured out that I didn't really fit in with the whole straight identity either. it just wasn't feeling right for me, so I stopped again, thought through my life and my identity and everything, talked to a lot of people about it. I realized I didn't have to identify as heterosexual, and I eventually came out as asexual. It fits much better and I am much happier now.

I've also changed politically. I watched the news, I saw my friends get hurt, I saw how corrupt the college administration really was. I learned that it's okay to share opinions (even though I'm a WOMAN *gasp*) I learned that there are ways a people can fight, and I started looking into those. I went to meetings, organized groups, learned that I can be a leader, became an activist. I used to be a timid little girl who never broke the rules and was too afraid to speak at all, even to her friends, and now I am outspoken, passionate, and dedicated to a cause. I changed quite a lot there.

so in short, yes, I've hit several points where I had to rethink my life. life is full of forks in the road, important decisions, hard choices, and you'll change a lot as you go on down it. the colors of the world are changing day by day. it's only natural. change is good, embrace it.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

Oh yeah! I used to be afraid of what people would think, I basically copied behaviors just to get by, and had no idea how to "be myself". Somewhere along the line, in my late 40's, I simply stopped caring what anyone else thought and finally came into my own. I was brainwashed by society into this "romantic ideal" where I thought I had to have a partner no matter how much life showed me I was meant to fly solo. Now I'm thrilled to be on my own. I've definitely bloomed even more since going through menopause. I don't let myself be forced into anyone's standards.

[Medusa]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

After my heart attack I took a deep breath. Now I don't let things get to me. At all. Everyone else is not as important as I am in my own life. I come first.

[Torey]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

During my days in Uni, I had a realisation that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and decided to essentially throw away my higher education in order to focus on my family.

It happened again when I moved to the city - and realised that what was important to me was the people I had left behind - so again, moved to be with my family.

And...later in life, when I was so clinically depressed and suicidal and psychotic - I happened to meet my wife and decided that I had to make a choice between living a life that was falling apart or to pursue a life that I'd always dreamed of living with who I'd always dreamed of living it with. I gave up everything I'd ever known - and I was a terrible introvert and hadn't travelled, well much at all - to cross the sea and live in another country and another culture that was wholly alien to me. I'm so happy that I did. Never was the type to take chances, but when I did - it paid off.

[Jera]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

I started having revelations last year when I turned 25 - made some big decisions. Went overseas for the first time, moved from the small town I'd lived in my whole life to the biggest city in the country (then back again!), got back with my ex fiance after 2 years of being apart and being embroiled in an obsessive, failing relationship with someone else...
When the smoke cleared I realised I was getting to the point where I need to start looking out for number one, and not acting like a teenager anymore. I had no assets, no finances of my own, and from there I began my climb towards financial independence. Now I am buying my own business at the end of the year and generally attempting to act like a self-sufficient adult.

[Heka]

I dont think ive changed much. I havent had any life changing moments. Most of my life ive planned out and lived. Who I am now is just a cummulation of who I've been before. Nothing major has changed me I don't think.

I guess I'm lucky? Hmm

[DanieMarie]

Re: Cha cha cha changes....Who you were,and who you are now.

I think most of us do.

I went through a few big changes in my 20s, which I think is pretty normal. I basically rejected all of my own personal beliefs for a while (even though most of them were never imposed on my by my parents and I had totally grasped at them myself). Somewhere around 22-23 I got pretty neo-liberal for a while, where I still supported the freedom to do whatever you want in your personal life, but also favoured freer (not totally free) markets and low taxes. Totally against my previous (and current) socialist views. I totally rethought my life; for a while I was pretty aimless and did some work that I would never normally do. It sunk me into a deep depression, though I eventually got out of it. After trying a few other things, I went back to school for business, which is something I said I'd never, ever study.

Around the same time, I also listened to different music, liked different shows, and wore different clothes. I got very high fashion and luxury culture and all that jazz. None of that was me, though. At some point I realized that I'm the kind of woman who makes her own clothes, likes '60s folk music, and is into all things eco. Basically, I had to face up to the fact that I always was a hippie and will always be a hippie. Around 27-28 I slowly started coming back to my leftist ways, and now I'm more or less the same brand of pinko that I was in my late teens (but with more life experience).

I still don't know why I went through this change. Like I said, it wasn't really rejecting what I grew up with...my parents are fairly liberal and favour the welfare state, but they're not really as left-wing as I was/am. They were also never hippies. It was always me who was lecturing them about the evils of consumer culture (or whatever), not the other way around. My town is fairly conservative. Sure, it's on the west coast on an island, so there is a fair share of hippie and artsy types who live there, but most people are quite conservative small-town folks. I almost think I ended up the way I did partly as a rejection of my town and its dominant culture. The only thing I can think of is that I was rebelling against Berlin. I moved here and found out that almost everyone was exactly like me. I'd never lived anywhere like that before. I was so used to pushing back and being "different" that I just went the other way for a while.

Anyway, I sort of found myself again and now I'm pretty much the same as I was at 18, only a lot less naive and a lot less selfish. My views and values are pretty similar, as are my interests, likes, and dislikes. Go figure. I still question what I'm doing with my life and where I'm headed, but at 30 I'm a lot more secure in who I am, so it's not really all that bad.

Some of the things I want are different from when I was younger. Like, I never wanted kids when I was 18, but I definitely do now. I never wanted to own a home, and I own a home. Stuff like that. I guess that's just growing up, though.