Who should lead the bride to the altar?

[Azvanna]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

Also, upon reading this thread over my shoulder, Hubby says "I hope our children aren't so self-centered that their wedding is about scoring imaginary points against *the man*, instead of celebrating the beginning of their new family"

How to give your hubby rep?

[MaskedOne]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

How to give your hubby rep?

He has an account here somewhere but I don't know if he's ever posted and don't have time to track his account down.

[thalassa]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

This is The Last Word on the subject of personal attacks that will be occuring in this thread:

*
Will this mobbing and bashing ever stop?
I opened a topic for discussing.
I did not attack anybody personally.
But now I get attacked PERSONALLY all the time.
Now lots of people take pleasure in mobbing and bashing Larix.

Disagreement with your position is not attack. A personal opinion is not an attack. Now, you may not like the opinions of some people, and you might even choose to interpret them as a personal insult, but nothing here has been an attack on your person.

There have been some strongly worded concerns and opinions on the nature your response being out of proportion with the thread, but TBH, you've sort of egged that on. I don't know if that is a result of something being lost in translation, or not, and quite honestly, I don't have the time to puzzle it out.

If you have a problem with someone, take it up with them directly in an effort to reach understanding, or with an admin or staff member if that cannot be achieved, via PM. This sort of commentary that you have left here is unnecessary, and quite honestly, comes off as passive-aggressive attention-seeking. And that comment is not an attack on you as a person or your personality, it is an opinion on your behavior here, in this thread.

When will I be banned from this forum?

When/if you do something that breaks the forum rules enough times that the staff feels that the messes created by you (or anyone else for that matter) isn't worth the time it takes to clean up. Usually that is something like 3 infractions in a short time frame, one egregious infraction, or a longer history of milder infractions without any attempt at correction.

I also get attacked and INSULTED by private messages here!
It gets really disgusting!

As an admin, I have the ability to read PM's. It is not something we do regularly or as a matter of routine. Considering that this is a serious allegation, that implies serious rule breaking, I have taken the time to do so.

I seriously have no idea what you are talking about. I did not see a single comment that could even remotely be considered an attack.

Normally, I would have PM'd you on this matter, but since you posted in in-thread, your response is in-thread.





Now, with that having been said...

This thread will return to its regularly scheduled program.

The topic of conversation is (specifically) whether or not a father (or otherwise) walking the bride down the aisle is an unnecessary and anti-feminist tradition....or, perhaps (more generally) the role of tradition (or not) in weddings.

If your commentary has nothing to do with that specific or general topic it is not welcome and will (depending on the degree of off-topic) possibly be removed. If you have a problem with something or someone in this thread directly, either keep it to yourself in the "edited" part of your brain, or PM a staff member with your concerns.



....you all may notice that I wrote in red today. If you are a regular around here, you know how much I hate to do that...

[Carlin]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

I think a lovely visual would be for the groom to approach from the other side so that the two meet at the altar at the same time.

I like that. Although in my case it will be the other bride.

[thalassa]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

Now, in an effort to return to the subject at hand...

If I may re-phrase the title .....
Instead of "Who should lead the bride to the altar?" I might ask:

"Is it really necessary that anyone leads the bride to the altar?"

Well - is it?
What do you think?

Of course its not necessary. The dress, the cake, the guests, the ceremony, the everything isn't necessary. Getting married in the first place isn't necessary!

Heck, most things we do as humans aren't necessary.

The only things that are necessary in life are something along the lines of food, water, and shelter from the elements.

Necessary has nothing to do with it--the only thing that should be asked is this:

What is desired by the couple at hand?

If yes...do it. If no, then don't.

How to give your hubby rep?

lol--he does have an account, but he doesn't use it, he just comments over my shoulder. He's pretty certain that if he *did* start posting, I'd have to ban him for "unrepentant undue honesty". I love the hubby, but he has little tact.

[Gardenia]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

If my SO and I ever have a wedding, there are a few traditions I don't think I'd be comfortable including, and this is one of them. On a personal level, I just don't really like the symbolism of it (and it kind of doesn't make sense with our situation), and I'd rather include something that's going to have more meaning to me/us. But that's the thing, it's personal. I personally don't like it, but someone else might see a totally different meaning in it, or they might like the traditional ideas, or whatever else, and why should I care if they want to include it? It's their wedding, so it's their choice - and it's pretty important to some people.

As an example, my mom got re-married shortly before her dad died. We all knew he didn't have very long left to live, and to be able to have him there, and have him walk her down the aisle, it was hugely important to her, and I'm so glad she got to do that. It was her choice, it meant something important to her so she included it - it doesn't have the same meaning to me, so I wouldn't include it in my own wedding. I dunno, seems pretty simple to me?

[LeviImmortal]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

Whoever she wants! Doesn't matter the relation to the bride, just if that's who she really wants to lead her to the altar.

[Larix]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

May I ask why it is so important that the bride is being "led" at all?

Must she really be "led"?

------------------------

And if the bride must be "led" - why ist the bridegroom not "led" as well?

- - - Updated - - -

I personally don't like it, but someone else might see a totally different meaning in it, or they might like the traditional ideas, or whatever else, and why should I care if they want to include it? It's their wedding, so it's their choice - and it's pretty important to some people.

May I repeat myself?

I NEVER ordered anybody about what he or she should do on a wedding day.

I NEVER made any personal comments to anybody because of their wedding day traditions.

-------------------

My intention here was only to discuss a topic.

And I thought, that is what a forum is there for.

I tolerate your opinion on the topic - and I am begging you to also tolerate my opinion.

Would that be possible?

[satanic witch]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

Well if they ever legalize gay marriage I plan on walking down with my groom in a pagan hand fasting ceremony. But as for a women being led by her father , I think its something a father looks forward to when he has a daughter. Cause the way I see it most males who become fathers if they have a boy they want him to carry on there legacy and name and teach the son everything a father knows, now if this father has a daughter then one of the major things he can look forward to is walking the daughter down the isle to her groom. I think it really just depends on how u feel about it, for example I'd like my mom to walk me down the isle to my groom but honestly I don't see her living that long but that's a story for another day perhaps, so I've chosen to walk down with my groom or him walk down with a parent since I don't realistically have the option but it is one of my wishes for my mother to at least be present . But there is my view on the subject sorry for its length

[Juniper]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

May I ask why it is so important that the bride is being "led" at all?

Must she really be "led"?

------------------------

And if the bride must be "led" - why ist the bridegroom not "led" as well?

I don't think it's important or necessary for the bride to be "handed off", "led" or "walked down" by anyone. I wasn't... But I had a very quick Las Vegas wedding on the 106'th floor of the Stratosphere with family and a few friends. It was perfect [for us].
I have been to a wedding where the groom was walked to the altar by his mother, and the bride by her father, but it's because of what that couple chose.
A simple answer I can think of is that "giving away the bride" be it by being walked down an isle, handed off by a parent, etc... this is a remnant of a very long ago tradition. It's meaning has evolved since then. Most modern cultures don't involve dowries or using women as a trade to pay off a debt, or to buy her family into higher social rankings. A lot of people choose to see this tradition as a way for the bride to leave her parental home and form a new family with her groom, and the "giving away" can be seen as her parent blessing the union.
There are far too many ways to view the tradition, in this day and age.

Of course there are still some cultures that believe in arranged marriage. Is it the "wrong" thing to do? Maybe to those who don't follow this culture it can be viewed as such. I feel like it's only wrong if the bridge or groom are being forced to follow through against their will. If they have a choice in the matter and choose to go forth, I don't care and frankly, my opinion means nothing, in the grand scheme of things.
And that is where I stand on the subject.

May I repeat myself?

I NEVER ordered anybody about what he or she should do on a wedding day.

I NEVER made any personal comments to anybody because of their wedding day traditions.

-------------------

My intention here was only to discuss a topic.

And I thought, that is what a forum is there for.

I tolerate your opinion on the topic - and I am begging you to also tolerate my opinion.

Would that be possible?

Larix, I don't know why you're taking every reply people here are saying so personal. I've read this thread TWICE just now, just to make sure I wasn't missing anything. People have responded very courteously and provided ample reasons as to why they feel the way they do. You, on the other hand, have only been defensive and have rephrased your question multiple times and received the same answer in multiple ways. You're asking for people's opinions and people are obliging. Nicely. If you can't handle it, then please stop logging in.
Also, the smiley faces are confusing and contradict the "tone" of your replies.

And lastly, I don't actually know what your opinion is. All I've seen you do is ask questions of what we think and then get defensive. Please, pray tell, what IS your opinion on this matter?

[Medusa]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

Dear Baby Jesus. Lemme lead this thread to hell.
Amen.

[thalassa]

Re: Who should lead the bride to the altar?

May I ask why it is so important that the bride is being "led" at all?

Must she really be "led"?

------------------------

And if the bride must be "led" - why ist the bridegroom not "led" as well?

Who says she's actually being led anywhere? I think you are overly fixated on a word.

The bride is traditionally ESCORTED*. Walked WITH, not led.

She's not a horse.

*ESCORT--to accompany for protection or security or as a sign of respect or rank

And in some weddings, the bridegroom IS escorted. In others no one is escorted. In still others they escort each other.

My intention here was only to discuss a topic.

And I thought, that is what a forum is there for.

I tolerate your opinion on the topic - and I am begging you to also tolerate my opinion.

Would that be possible?

No one isn't tolerating your opinion, some of us simply disagree with it. Disagreement is not intolerance. Disagreement is just as much a discussion as agreement. The only person that seems to have an issue with disagreement on this topic is you. You are the one that keeps passive-aggressively rewriting the question over and over and over and over...and accusing people of attacking you or not tolerating you or whatever. Some people agree with you, others don't. No one else is taking it personally.

Disagreement with a position is not attack. A personal opinion is not an attack. One may not like the opinions of some people, and you might even choose to interpret them as a personal insult, but that doesn't mean its an attack on your person, nor that they are intolerance.


And...this thread is now over because I hate having to repeat myself.