I'm Mentally Ill

[DragonsFriend]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

When one is comfortable with themselves a lot more can be tolerated.

[Thorbjorn]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

Me: Bipolar 2 hypomanic w/depression; Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder; Generalized Anxiety Disorder; Asperger's.

[Hickory67]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

There's definitely a hereditary aspect to anxiety. My daughter's anxiety looks exactly like mine when she has episodes. All it takes for either of us is one negative thought. We imagine a worst-case scenario and feel the emotion as if it's actually happened. I'm fully aware of it and can explain to you what my mind is doing as it's happening, but can't stop the emotion and it can go on for days. It's absolutely brutal on both of us. It's brutal on my wife, too - especially when we're both spiraling at the same time. Thankfully that doesn't happen often.

I can usually snap my daughter out of it by getting stern with her. I'm a huge softie, so it's shocking when I lose my cool - especially with her. We haven't figured out what will stop mine yet. It just has to run its course.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

I'm fully aware of it and can explain to you what my mind is doing as it's happening, but can't stop the emotion and it can go on for days.

For me, that's the worst part. l know exactly what is happening, I know what sets it off, intellectually I know that what I am feeling is totally ridiculous, but I can't stop it.

That's an illness. If it could be stopped but isn't, it's just being sloppy.

If I break a leg, I can understand exactly what is going on, but I can't stop the leg from being broken. No amount of "sucking it up" or "tuffing it out" or "thinking happy thoughts" is going to change that. It needs to be treated and fixed.

Have you tried meditation? It can be used to help let go off recurrent thoughts (although when it is really bad it's difficult to meditate unless you've practiced quite a bit beforehand).

[Thorbjorn]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

For me, that's the worst part. l know exactly what is happening, I know what sets it off, intellectually I know that what I am feeling is totally ridiculous, but I can't stop it.

Like being on the outside looking at someone else. That's how I used to describe it to my therapist: "who is that masked man?" Or watching a car wreck and knowing you can't do a damn thing about it even though it's horrifying to watch.

[Hickory67]

Re: I'm Mentally Ill

For me, that's the worst part. l know exactly what is happening, I know what sets it off, intellectually I know that what I am feeling is totally ridiculous, but I can't stop it.

That's an illness. If it could be stopped but isn't, it's just being sloppy.

If I break a leg, I can understand exactly what is going on, but I can't stop the leg from being broken. No amount of "sucking it up" or "tuffing it out" or "thinking happy thoughts" is going to change that. It needs to be treated and fixed.

Have you tried meditation? It can be used to help let go off recurrent thoughts (although when it is really bad it's difficult to meditate unless you've practiced quite a bit beforehand).

I do deep breathing exercises, take a long walk, and keep an anxiety journal to write out my cognitive distortions. I have a hard time meditating regularly because there are no quiet times at home. I have found that the walks at least help me think about "how" I'm thinking as opposed to the negative thoughts themselves, and I can usually refocus for a while afterward. With my medication, I can normally switch mental gears and focus on work or whatever I need to be thinking about without too much difficulty. Off meds it's debilitating - I can't think of anything but that worst case scenario - can't even focus on a conversation for longer than a minute or two. I can be looking right at you and appear to be listening, but my mind is down the rabbit hole.