Should Men be able to hit Women?

[DragonsFriend]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

My dad told us we should never hit a girl. There was nine of us boys and three girls as kids. Yes twelve kids, one mother and no twins. I later changed that to "you never hit a lady" simply because a lady won't give you a reason to hit her. (I am not the abusive male chauvinist) Be that as it may, I did strike my ex-wife once. I was married to an addict and addicts tend to get very physical at times. I would usually just walk away but this time I was driving down the road when she began pummeling me with both fists as I was driving. I backhanded her, which stopped the attack, pulled the car over and walked the 4 miles home leaving her to drive the car home. I don't feel I was wrong or excessive but I did not want to remain in the car with her. The last three years we were together were hellish and I happily divorced her.

[EndlessCravings]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

My dad told us we should never hit a girl. There was nine of us boys and three girls as kids. Yes twelve kids, one mother and no twins. I later changed that to "you never hit a lady" simply because a lady won't give you a reason to hit her. (I am not the abusive male chauvinist) Be that as it may, I did strike my ex-wife once. I was married to an addict and addicts tend to get very physical at times. I would usually just walk away but this time I was driving down the road when she began pummeling me with both fists as I was driving. I backhanded her, which stopped the attack, pulled the car over and walked the 4 miles home leaving her to drive the car home. I don't feel I was wrong or excessive but I did not want to remain in the car with her. The last three years we were together were hellish and I happily divorced her.

I'm glad you didn't feel bad about back handing her. Her pummeling you while driving is very dangerous and reckless. I hope you're doing better now.

[DragonsFriend]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

I am better now. After waiting about 13 years I remarried a wonderful woman who is neither violent nor an addict. We have yet to even have an argument after twelve wonderful years. She is probably not what most would call an assertive woman but her submission fits our lifestyle well and I take very good care of her.

[Medusa]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Technically anyone can do whatever they want. They just have to pay the legal consequences. I think right now it's assault irregardless of the gender.

[anunitu]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Wondering how we get into these topics so much...."Have you stopped beating your wife?"

- - - Updated - - -

Really interesting

Here.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Wondering how we get into these topics so much...."Have you stopped beating your wife?"

- - - Updated - - -

Really interesting

Here.

Personally I think it's more than the notion of violence but more of an analysis of cultural and social norms. Figure how often do we discuss the inequality between genders, races, economic groups, etc? Far to often it seems, to me anyway, that discussions touch upon the larger concept but ignore or downplay the mitigating factors. Figure attitude towards violence between men and woman versus male on male or female on female often ignores the very laws, morals and social constructs that are in place to promote or support them.

[MaskedOne]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Technically anyone can do whatever they want. They just have to pay the legal consequences. I think right now it's assault irregardless of the gender.

Legally, yes it's assault either way.

Practically, someone has to actually prosecute the case. If (and I don't know if this occurs frequently because I don't regularly look up abuse statistics) local police and DAs don't believe in female abusers then getting one prosecuted might be just short of impossible. A more dramatic example would be a shooting in Florida a few years ago there was a mass uproar when the local DA wasn't initially preparing to charge the shooter. There are multiple steps to convict a person of assault and a number of places to derail things even before trial.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

What type of dishes do you cook?

Just ordinary stuff. But people's eyes do swivel sometimes...

[iris]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

No I didn't but the position your presenting is the woman should be excused. Yes many will say they shouldn't hit but then they also don't start out justifying why they shouldn't be touched as the lead in. It's one or the other, they don't hit and no one should or if they do hit then they should be expecting an equal return. Stating they shouldn't be because they are weaker and men stronger is the very thing I stated, that social and cultural conditioning. Not much different in the aspect of a son is a son till he takes a wife but a daughter is a daughter all of her life. It's how our culture and society is conditioned to forgive and not raise them to expect an equal return for their actions.

Again, I think this whole equal return thing is off. If you are the stronger part, male or female, you often have the option of retaining them. If you're the weaker part, equal return doesn't seem very possible, getting away seems like the best option. defence doesn't HAVE to involve hitting, in fact I was always taught that the best defence was to get away. Of course that's not always possible. But if it is, and you still choose the equal return it's not really self defence anymore, it's revenge.
The consequenses should be of a legal sort.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Again, I think this whole equal return thing is off. If you are the stronger part, male or female, you often have the option of retaining them. If you're the weaker part, equal return doesn't seem very possible, getting away seems like the best option. defence doesn't HAVE to involve hitting, in fact I was always taught that the best defence was to get away. Of course that's not always possible. But if it is, and you still choose the equal return it's not really self defence anymore, it's revenge.
The consequenses should be of a legal sort.

Agreed.

There is a huge difference between hitting someone back who is the same size as you and hitting someone back who is smaller than you. And that being said, I'd never choose hitting as my first form of defence. I'm pretty small, so I'd be most likely to try to just get away, but if it was someone my size, I'd always opt for restraint. Most of the time, there's a better option. Hitting is usually the childish way out.

[anunitu]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

What I wrote is about not so much the question,but the answers that seem to invite argument rather than discussion. Just seems like every one goes that route sooner or later.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

Just to toss a fun wrench into the machine -

Everybody talks about the difference in body strength as a deciding factor.

Just so you know, a small, light fighter who knows what he/she is doing, and who has practiced, can easily womp the stuffin' out of a much larger, stronger fighter who has little or no skill.

Ladies, learn to fight, then don't worry about it. Most men fight like idiots, especially when they are big enough to be intimidating. They've never had to learn how to move their head when a foot comes at it, so they take it on the chin...

[DanieMarie]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

I used to take boxing lessons. I can throw a decent punch. But if a big guy is attacking me, I'm still going to run if I get the chance. I can still run better than I can fight.

[B. de Corbin]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

I used to take boxing lessons. I can throw a decent punch. But if a big guy is attacking me, I'm still going to run if I get the chance. I can still run better than I can fight.

I agree with your strategy. "If I get the chance" may well be a deciding factor. I'm not advocating violence - what I advocate is the ability to make a decision, based on something other that the inability to make any other decision

[DanieMarie]

Re: Should Men be able to hit Women?

I agree with your strategy. "If I get the chance" may well be a deciding factor. I'm not advocating violence - what I advocate is the ability to make a decision, based on something other that the inability to make any other decision

Of course. If it comes between surviving and not surviving, I'll fight. And I definitely think that everyone should learn how to physically defend themselves, just in case. It's just that I think that resorting to fists should be a *last* resort.