As the year draws to a close it seems that every day I either hear or read someone's lament about what a terrible year 2016 was. This completely baffles me. You see, for my partner JP and me 2016 was a whirlwind of a year. A truly magical and transformative year!
I can still remember waking up on the morning of Jan 1st 2016. 2015 had gone by in a flash and I was feeling dissatisfied with my life. JP and I had been living together for 3 and a half years and the only thing that had changed in that time was that I looked considerably older. I'd made hardly any progress with Japanese despite having my head buried in textbooks almost every evening, JP was earning peanuts doing a job he hated, and I was desperately unhappy with my physical appearance. I was afraid to spend money, hoarding any leftover cash at the end of each month in a low-interest savings account because I was so scared that something in my mum's flat would need repairing, or one of us would lose our job, or some other unseen financial disaster would occur. Add to that the fact that I was giving money to my mum to keep a roof over her head, and you can imagine that I was living way below my already meager means.
JP had given me a 365 page journal for Christmas. Determined not to let another uneventful year fly by in a blink, I decided I'd use that journal to document my daily life and give myself something to look back over at the end of the year and hopefully appreciate the passage of time. That was my resolution for 2016; to make the year count!
It wasn't a smooth ride by any means, but JP and I both stand together today with more money in our pockets, better health, greater happiness and much closer to the life of our dreams. There have been some pretty low points along the way and some issues are still unresolved, but now that I am on the otherside of many of the obstacles we faced, I feel truly proud of both myself and JP.
While reading over my journal and making a month-by-month summary of 2016, what has really stood out to me is that a lot of old habits were shed, blocks were swept aside and ruts became unstuck. I got back into paganism in a huge way and I began to 'embrace the fluff' that is, I explored aspects of magic and witchcraft I snubbed in the past for not being 'authentic' enough. As a result I feel I have become a far better witch than I ever was before. I feel like I 'get it' now, or at least I'm somewhat closer to getting it.
So would I agree that 2016 was a year of death? In a way I suppose it was, but I would rather rephrase this and say 2016 was a year of endings. Some of you might recall that in the latter half of 2015 I was drawn to the Ankou, a Celtic psychopomp. The Ankou is basically the Death archetype, hooded and skeletal, driving a carriage and bearing a scythe. At that time I was afraid of death. I guess I still am. Or at least, I'm afraid of its consequences. In fact, I think it is perfectly rational to be afraid of death. However, I do understand now that death is a necessary part of life. It paves the way for change. As any tarot enthusiast will tell you, Death needn't mean physical death. As much as people have focused on the amount of celebrity deaths this year, I actually can't recall a single year of my life in which so many babies were born around me. Loads of people I know have popped one out this year! It makes perfect sense I suppose, because the natural flow from death is rebirth.
According to the BBC this morning, there were statistically fewer deaths in the UK this year compared to 2015. Globally is a different matter. Too many innocent lives were cut short because too many people value power over human life, yet even with that considered, quality of life for humans generally, continues to improve year on year, with ever decreasing numbers of people living in severe poverty. The political landscape changed considerably this year, and our fear of change meant that many saw this as a bad thing. I'm a little more optimistic. Sure change is uncomfortable, but it's much needed. Things may well get worse for a while, and we in the West may have to get used to sharing our wealth with other nations and no longer hoarding all the power, but lets just wait and see, the magic of 2016 may just have set the ball rolling that will speed up our transition to the next phase of human existence.
Our lives go through phases, change is a natural part of life. The thing is, another natural part of human nature is a fear of change, or a reluctance to give up old habits and patterns even when they no longer serve us. This is the real reason, I feel, that so many people say they had a rotten 2016; they dug their heels in and tried to hold onto those things that were trying to leave their lives in order to make space for something better. That's not to trivialise those genuine tragedies that some experienced this year. I'm of course talking about the smaller things. The little setbacks I've seen so many complaining about on FB or here on PF.
Honestly, had I not gone into 2016 so determined not to let it be a repeat of 2015, which was a clone of 2014, which wasn't all that different to 2013, I probably would have had a lousy year too. Instead, I just rolled with the punches, I weathered the storms and kept on trying to stay positive and trust that the universe knew what it was doing. Even when JP walked out of his job and we had to go 3 months with only one wage, I refused to panic, or to even stop living my life as normal. We didn't get out much, and we had to find creative ways to save money, but on the whole we were pretty content during that time. JP has found a job he loves and that pays well, and has started working towards his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian. My mum, while currently undergoing treatment for cancer, finally sold her flat after being stuck there for 6 miserable years. Strangely, the cancer has given her something to focus on that is out of her control and this has actually improved her mental state. Hopefully she'll beat the cancer and can go on to enjoy her new-found financial freedom and start a new chapter of her life.
Even my body is starting to change! As some of you will know, one of my hang-ups about my body is my thighs. I'm very short at just 5' and have short stocky legs. That is unfortunate enough in itself, but I also have a tendency to gain weight only around my thighs. The rest of my body staying relatively slim, although I also have wide hip bones. The fat on my thighs has always been incredibly stubborn to the point that the ONLY way to reduce it was with severe dieting. However, at 34 I am now too old to get away with eating just 1,000 calories a day without it ravaging my face and making me look older than I am.
It seemed like my only option was to accept my body shape and stop being so obsessed with something as trivial as a few inches around my legs. I was getting there too! But then 3 months ago I discovered the endocrine approach to health and weight control. I learnt that I am estrogen dominant and how to address that through my diet. I figured it was worth a try. This has been the slowest weight loss I have ever seen, losing over 3 months what I could have lost in a week by starving myself and over-exercising. Yet I did it by eating at least 2000 calories a day. My skin and hair are improving, slowly, but it is happening. I have more energy, I'm sleeping better and I just generally feel on top of the world.
The icing on the cake though, was when I tried on my over the knee Christmas socks on Christmas morning. They had been a present off my mum last Christmas. My niece got some too and having recently lost a lot of weight herself, she'd put them on and looked great in them. When I got home I tried mine on and was horrified. My thighs poured over the top of them like muffins and I looked hideous. I'd never been able to get away with over the knee socks for this reason, but those Christmas socks were probably the tightest I'd ever tried.
This year I knew I'd lost a few centimeters from around my thighs, so I was curious so tried them on. To my delight they were fine. I was so pleased that I actually wore them to go to my sister's for Christmas dinner. I felt like the bees knees in my stripy socks. I might not be super-skinny, but I'm not freakishly abnormal anymore. There's nothing left to hate about my body and it can only get better from here as I continue with this new eating plan.
So there you have it. In every possible way, JP and I have left 2016 in a better place than we entered it. I have been saying for a while that I think 2016 was a year of endings, and then a few weeks ago, someone on Tylluan Penry's facebook said that the numerology of 2017 makes it a year of beginnings and I really smiled. Well, of course it will be. What else could there be after a year of endings?
Have a fantastic 2017 everyone. I hope you set out on new adventures and fill the spaces left by those things you outgrew in 2016, with something much, much better!
Peace, and Blessed Be! (Gawds I'm so fluffy!! ^^)
