Yep. I have absolutely lost my mind, and I thought everyone should know. In any case, I thought it might be nice if I went ahead and posted another update, as I promised I would try and do so quite a few different times and well...failed.

So, the SSA people counted my dad's Christmas money (he sent $200 around Christmas to help me pay my bills) as recurring monthly income. Geniuses they are. Anyway, so it took me forever to get ahold of him to ask him to send them a letter saying he hadn't been paying my rent. Finally got ahold of him yesterday. In the meantime, I've been getting under $500 a month. On the one hand, helps pay rent. On the other hand, once rent is paid, I don't have enough for food AND doctor visits each month, so doctor visits have been sidelined until this is fixed. Which sucks, but there is nothing that I can really do about it at the moment. They told me to apply for food stamps to help. Did that, but that process is taking ridiculously long, mainly because they need stuff from my roomie too and she doesn't want to seem to do the shit that is needed to be done. *insert po'd kayla here* We're going on the first after I get paid again to turn the stuff in, and if she doesn't want to do it that time around, I'm taking my money that would've gone to rent and using it for food. Her parents are the landlords, so they can deal with it.

I'm moving in December. I found a place that has pretty cheap rent, there are better choices for doctors, and better public transit...plus with my backpay, I'll be able to pay a few months ahead rent-wise, and not have to worry about it. SSA has a lot of stuff set up to help me in the meantime, and I hope once I move I can get back to school and finish that stuff up and get off the SSI once everything has stabilized. That's hoping, anyway. I actually miss school. A lot. I'm one of those people that really loves to learn, and despite what I was going through at the time, leaving school was something that really hurt me...more than just my ego. I still owe Ball U like $500, but my dad said he and my aunt would help with that so that I could get my crappy transcript and get the ball rolling elsewhere. Score one for me, yeah?

Other than that and battling some pretty wicked insomnia lately, nothing much has been going on. Cut off some more of the family that were causing too much drama, and trying to get caught up in internet-land after a bit of an absence. Still working on the anxiety and stress levels. BP has been through the roof. (144/103 and most recently 124/94) Trying to eat a little better and get a bit more exercise to fix it, but the doc says a lot of it is probably stress. Which means I obviously need to de-stress a bit more lol. Working on that. Don't need a heart attack or stroke or any of that lovely crap at 23. No thanks. I've missed everyone. Been kinda disconnected lately, but pretty much everything at this point goes back to stress. At this point I've decided I just need to do whatever I have to do and just...keep on keepin' on. I'm gonna beat this. Really I am.