I do not know what is wrong with me right now. I am in a beautiful place, surrounded by nature but I am so down. I miss having people to talk to, people who genuinely want to talk to you, not to talk to you out of sympathy or to get the gossip about your life. I miss my mum, she still lives in the UK and I have never been this far away from her before and it hurts.

I love the place that we live now, BUT the people are so materialistic and self absorbed it makes me sick. There are kids at age 5 walking around with the latest i phones and i pads, 6 year olds with quad bikes, 17 year olds with dam monster trucks as their first car! but these kids did not work for it or earn it from their parents, oh no, they acted like spoiled brats and good old mummy and daddy got it for them. My 9 year old son has already commented on how much stuff his friends have, stuff that we cannot afford to get him and even if we could afford it I would not allow him to have anyway!

I am viewed as the "outsider" or "foreigner" which I expected for the first 6 to 9 month maybe but 12 months on and I am still classed as that. Now I have got to the point that I am thinking of making people feel really uncomfortable by playing on the fact that I am an outsider. Maybe start being blatant about my religion. I have not flaunted it out of respect to their christian beliefs but if they cannot respect us as people then why should I respect them and their feelings?

Also some people have been talking and putting us down because we rent our home and do not own it. All of these things make me feel like we mad e the wrong choice in coming to live here and that we should have stayed in the UK. I think I am scared that I will turn in to someone like them, driven by greed and possessions worse than that is that our kids will end up like them.

I just wish an answer would come to put this straight in my mind because I am all over the place with this and it is causing me to comfort eat yet again because of all the stress!!!!