I am awake and alone, none of my pals or family are up yet. And I rather not be thinking too much in the silence. SO, I decided to come to this forum and annoy people with some chatter and I'm writing this blog to share a true story about my birth. Don't worry, this one is more upbeat. ^_^

Of course, I don't remember any of this, but it a story that my mom, oldest brother, and aunts have told me a million times since I was age 10. So, I believe it to be true.

My mother already had her son, my brother, but suddenly she wanted a second child. She was hell bent on it, she really wanted me. She tried to get pregnant several times, though sadly she lost the babies before me in miscarriage. Though, she wouldn't give up. Finally she was pregnant with me for more than a few months and found out why she was having such a hard time keeping a pregnancy at that point My mother had huge fibroid tumors that attacked the fetus and drained the unborn baby's blood supply. It was no different for me... The doctors told her that she should terminate the pregnancy because I was dying and if by some miracle I did survive I would have a lifetime of being mentally and physically handicapped. My mother was distraught, but she wouldn't do it, she couldn't. She said to me once, "I felt hair inside my womb, your hair. The doctors thought I was crazy, but you were born with a head full of long and beautiful hair!" And she frowns that now in my adulthood, I tend to chop off that long hair to short and stylish bobs. LOL! ;^_^

So, I think I must of felt my mother's want for me and decided that I will fight to live... literally. I kicked and punched the tumors while in the womb. This was highly painful for my mom, to the point my grandmother and her friends urged her to terminate the pregnancy, because she was in too much pain all the time. But my mother is stubborn (that's where I get my own stubbornness, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree!), she refused to give up on me and suffered the pain. And she likes to mention that part, with a glare, as if I should apologize for it... "Erm... sorry?" o_O
Anyway, the doctors were highly confused and bewildered about it, but they were still sure that I wouldn't survive. My mother changed doctors a lot, looking for one that was more willing to help than to keep lecturing to terminate the pregnancy. She never found one and thus her distrust for doctors to this very day. One the night of my birth, the doctor tried to convince her that I had died in the womb and to terminate, yet my mother knew better and yelled, "I still feel her moving! I still feel her hair! She's not dead!" They tried to convince my dad to talk my mom into it, but that's when I decided it's time to get out before they come in after me.

I was born on November 19th, 1980. A healthy baby girl, with all of her fingers and toes, no physical or mental handicaps. Not only that, I was a quiet baby, hardly cried. The nurses loved me so much, because I was so quiet and the long beautiful hair, that my mother was annoyed that they held me more than she did. ;^_^

So, that's the story of me being born. I keep it with me, to remind me that when life is kicking my butt (as it often does), that I've been strong since before I was born. I can handle it and get through whatever is tossed my way, I have to. I fought my way to live and I should continue to do that for the rest of my life. I did want to live from the very start. ^_^