Today was the funeral of my nephew... but why am I writing this blog so early? Why aren't I with family at the moment? Well, things took a surprising turn.
I woke up at 5am this morning, started to get ready along with my mom. My little brother woke up late, so he basically wasn't all the way together by the time Mr. Bernard (my mother's hire driver and best friend) showed up at 8:30am sharp. I was ready, so I went to sit in the car, in the front seat to chat with Mr. Bernard a bit. I was still bitter about the way my nephew's mother rushed everything, so that my sister couldn't attend and a few of my nephew's great aunts and cousins. But, I had meditated a lot yesterday, so instead of a huge boil, it was a slow simmer. My brother's father (aka: my mother's ex husband and my nephew's grandfather) was able to make it after all. He had to borrow the money for the expensive flight to make it here (did you know that airlines raise the price twice as much for tickets on the holidays? I didn't know that! >_<), but he got here and was staying with a friend. He needed a ride to the funeral, so after Mr. Bernard blared the horn for my little brother for fifteen minutes, we drove off and stopped to pick up my brother's father.
Both guys are ex US Marines, so the car was filled with fantastic old war stories, and some pretty cool jokes. I didn't mind listening and found it cool that they greeted each other with "Semper Fi!". My mother was Navy, so she always rolls her eyes at this. LOL!
Fifteen minutes into the drive, Mr. Bernard got lost... he NEVER gets lost! He kept apologizing, but it wasn't his fault. We weren't sure which 100th block the church was on, as my nephew's mother failed to send out cards with the address to where it was being held. We only knew of the information from a posting on Facebook... yes, the date, time, and place was mentioned on my nephew sister's status on Facebook, no call or invite from my nephew's mother. And if it wasn't posted there, none of the family would have known. And so we had a dilemma... where is the church??? But my mother is smart and suggested that we call directory service, as we knew the church by name, and call the church and ask the people there how to find the church.
The funeral was canceled. Yes, that's right... Yesterday, my nephew's mother found out that the insurance wasn't altogether sorted, so no money no service. But she didn't call anyone and let them know not to fly in or show up today. She said nothing to my oldest brother who had to do overtime to rent a car, to drive up here with his wife and my other nephew (my nephew's brother) who's staying with us until Christmas. She said nothing to even her own mother, who flew into the city and got here 1am this morning to make this fast funeral. No one knew, but her that today's funeral is canceled until his insurance is sorted.
I was so angry that I could spit nails... and I was ready to "go ham" as my nephew would say. Until, I was face to face with my older brother...
We hugged for a long time and he asked me while in the hug, "How are you?" I said, "I'm fine... I'm just a little mad." And he hugged me tighter, "Me too, I've been angry since the start of this. But it's going to be okay." And I said, "I know." He had to go and visit his other son, my youngest nephew, with gifts for him. He said he will be back Sunday. Him and I need to talk more... since we've always been close growing up. ^_^
So, it wasn't all bad. I don't know when the funeral will be and I may not show up. I kinda feel like I already said goodbye to my nephew today. In the car, we drove through the wooded areas of my city. My mother's ex commented, "I never been in this part of the city before, it's so woodsy!" And i thought to myself, "I have... a million times, with my sister and nephew when we were all just kids. Not only have we've played in the car as we drove past these wooded areas, we actually played in these parts and among the trees, as there is a park connected to these woods. And we were mischievous leaving the public areas of the park and slipping into the woods. I almost cried then, but didn't... remembering the times where all of our lives were so innocent back then.
Happy Winter Solstice everyone! ^_^
I haven't forgotten.
Right now, their parlor is holding the body hostage, not releasing it to another church unless we pay their $1,000 fee. So, first we have to gather that money and then we can start making plans for a proper funeral at the better church. So it looks like he may be buried a little before his birthday or on it, which is the first week of January. And it will be small, because many people who came out on yesterday are not willing to try again. It's a mess. But, we're getting through it the best we can. ^_^
Thanks, Maria! Hugs.
Grieving people don't think... they do what they can, what they did to a mother who just lost her child is insensative at best, and outright extortion at worst.... This is horrible, and I really want to go B****slap this church for you... So you do not have to deal with it. I am glad though that you and your family are ok, but my faith in huimanity has not been renewed.
And it's true, grieving people don't think well at all. Already my nephew's mother isn't in the best of minds before this and it's understandable that she's even more not in the best of minds now. This is why I've eased off on my anger now about how everything was handled. In my grief, I'm more angry than anything else, and it helped to know that my older brother has the same reaction... we've been angry since the news of my nephew's death, so were not exactly in the best of moods and mind either. Grief is a very funny thing...
And yes, if any one needs to be bitch slapped, it is this church. And this behavior just bad and another example on why I ran away from my Christian roots. Which I know isn't fair, because not all Christians behave this way, but this is just another crooked church in the many I've came across in my lifetime. And it does wane my faith in humanity as well, you're not alone in that feeling, sadly. u_u
But the important thing is, we're doing okay and looking forward to Christmas. We need the cheer and it will help to keep us sane this year. It's all that we have, right now. ^_^