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    #1

    Seeking advice on spirituality

    I know there are many posts like this, but I honestly have no one in my life with a "pagan perspective" to discuss this issue with.

    I was raised on the Bible and have been at war with my very nature since I was a child. For years I have been fighting to preserve my true self but after being cut off for so long I just feel lost. It is not easy to simply pick up where I left off because I never really started. And also I was very impressionable and open-minded as a child. As an adult I find myself overwhelmed by guilt and fear at the thought of expressing my spirituality in a different way. Doing nothing just seems easier most of the time but in the end I just feel empty. My anxiety is reflected in my dreams and when I wake up it is with the awareness that I'm on the wrong path.* But the right path is never alluded to.

    I just wanted some advice on how to proceed further or if I should just stop and clear my head.

    *On a lighter note, I keep dreaming about studying crystals and planning rituals.
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    #2
    Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

    Your finding your path reminds me a lot of my.own expierience. In childhod Heathen or Pagan was the word you were.called when you tracked in mud or chewed with your mouth open, so identifying spiritually under the name felt wrong. With that being said feel free to message me at. Anytime perhaps are paths are close enough to walk a bit together. My best advice is to return and reflect in the place spirituality was found nature. A long quiet reflection in an old forest can do A lot of good

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      #3
      Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

      I would personally advise you to research. find out a lot of the different kinds of paganism, or just simply paganism, and when you think you know enough, you can decide by yourself if you will continue with this path

      - - - Updated - - -
      ~ flowers are our only garments
      only songs make our pain subside ~

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        #4
        Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

        I'll point out the contradiction that I normally mention. Past that, I'm of limited aid.

        Large numbers of Christians would have you believe that the Lord of Hosts is

        All-Knowing
        All-Powerful
        Omni-Benevolent

        and.....
        wait for it.....

        HANDS OUT ETERNAL DAMNATION LIKE CANDY

        These four qualities don't mesh in one being. Either there is an all-powerful being that hands out eternal damnation like candy is therefore, by definition, not omni-benevolent (or even largely benevolent), the LoH is not all-powerful and therefore can't offer salvation outside specific rules because forces of equivalent or greater potency prevent him, or perhaps large numbers of Christians have this "easy street to hell" thing a little wrong. I choose to operate on the view that the universe is not run by a sadistic bastard and therefore explore a couple options. If I'm wrong about whatever path I'm and end up before a benevolent God then I'll be content to stand beside by my life and take just consequences. If I find myself before a not-so benevolent God, well the not so benevolent part sort of screws everyone over.

        Put differently: I don't believe the Power granted me both a conscience and the capacity to reason honestly expected me to ignore those qualities.
        Last edited by MaskedOne; 19 Sep 2012, 10:22.
        Life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

        Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

        "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

        John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

        "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

        Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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          #5
          Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

          Originally posted by Moonlight Mayhem View Post
          I know there are many posts like this, but I honestly have no one in my life with a "pagan perspective" to discuss this issue with.

          I was raised on the Bible and have been at war with my very nature since I was a child. For years I have been fighting to preserve my true self but after being cut off for so long I just feel lost. It is not easy to simply pick up where I left off because I never really started. And also I was very impressionable and open-minded as a child. As an adult I find myself overwhelmed by guilt and fear at the thought of expressing my spirituality in a different way. Doing nothing just seems easier most of the time but in the end I just feel empty. My anxiety is reflected in my dreams and when I wake up it is with the awareness that I'm on the wrong path.* But the right path is never alluded to.

          I just wanted some advice on how to proceed further or if I should just stop and clear my head.

          *On a lighter note, I keep dreaming about studying crystals and planning rituals.
          I found the book by Sue Monk Kidd, called: The Dance of the Dissident Daufgter. She was a "Christian" writer who turned her back of the patriarchy of Christianity and discovered the Sacred Feminine, which, to me, is what paganism is all about. I'm on my 3rd read-through... she addresses her own guilt and fear of going down adifferent path, as I have, so you are not alone!

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            #6
            Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

            I agree with Sarkana Night. The more you read, the more you will open your awareness to, and the more likely you are to come into contact with concepts that you identify with. Even if you don't identify with everything from a particular path, it is a good start to get to the basics so you can expand from there.

            Comment

              #7
              Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

              Thank you all for answering and being so open-minded.

              To callmeclemens: I wish I could go to the forest! I am still learning how to drive despite being way past the age I should have learned. At work, I usually sit outside during lunch to either reflect or connect with the nature around me.

              To MaskedOne: It was hard for me to imagine a loving God, while reading a list of sins punctuated by "there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth". I have never believed in the mainstream concept of Hell though. I completely agree with your last sentence.

              I've read many articles and watched several videos, most of which was from a Wiccan perspective. I don't really connect to the concept of Mother Earth (or hardly anything mother for that matter); the impression I usually receive from nature is either purifying energy or wild, masculine energy (which is why I actually feel more drawn to the aspect of the Horned God). I don't feel connected to Wicca as a whole though. I have mixed emotions about the subject of casting circles and deities/spirits for the obvious reasons. I feel the most comfortable connecting to the world around me in terms of energy at the moment. This is purely emotional, based on what I feel.

              Thank you for mentioning the book, brigidgreywolf. Luckily, I have never felt the patriarchal effects of Christianity. My issues with religion stemmed from feeling that I had to observe it and dealing with my [currently repressed] sexuality.
              Last edited by Moonlight Mayhem; 19 Sep 2012, 20:58.

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                #8
                Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

                Maybe if what you are looking for is just a new way to experience what you already feel, try the local UU church. You don't have to drop everything and switch up completely and give up everything you ever felt spiritually connected to. Maybe the issue is just you werent in the right place. UU ternds to be fairly accepting, and it is while a different experience than a traditional brand of anything else, closer to what you may possibly be looking for. It doesn't hurt to try new things, try different churches, groups heck see if you can go to a service in a synegogue or try an islamic form of worship. everybody is different, maybe the change you need is more subtle and less dramatic.
                http://catcrowsnow.blogspot.com/

                But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness.... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery inferno of my digestive tract.
                ~Jim Butcher

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: Seeking advice on spirituality

                  Originally posted by Maria de Luna View Post
                  Maybe if what you are looking for is just a new way to experience what you already feel, try the local UU church. You don't have to drop everything and switch up completely and give up everything you ever felt spiritually connected to. Maybe the issue is just you werent in the right place. UU ternds to be fairly accepting, and it is while a different experience than a traditional brand of anything else, closer to what you may possibly be looking for. It doesn't hurt to try new things, try different churches, groups heck see if you can go to a service in a synegogue or try an islamic form of worship. everybody is different, maybe the change you need is more subtle and less dramatic.
                  Thank you for responding. I never heard of Unitarian Universalism before; I like their principles. Church never played in a role in my spirituality though. My inner turmoil stems instead from guilt and fear of the unknown.

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