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Food Arguments

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    #16
    Re: Food Arguments

    Originally posted by perzephone View Post
    Especially now that he's gotten a garlic allergy....
    Ouch...

    That's just painful. I think my standing advice if I ever develop that specific allergy is for everyone to vacate the eastern seaboard. You might consider the planet but definitely the east coast of the US.
    life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

    Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

    "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

    John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

    "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

    Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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      #17
      Re: Food Arguments

      My last bf & I ate differently - he loved candy, deserts, junk, and I don't. When he was here on the weekends I found some recipes we both liked, and I didn't mind him having sweets in the house (I'm not tempted by sugar at all). Plus I have no problem cooking a couple of different things at once, so he could have something I didn't want. The problem was that he liked to cook and added stuff to MY food all the time. I'm very picky about GMO's & HFCS so that became an issue sometimes. I think it's like any other relationship issue: If both people are willing to just allow the other to be who they are and not try to control them, things will work. If someone's trying to bully a vegetarian into eating meat, or sneaking an ingredient into your meal which they KNOW you don't want - there are much deeper control issues at the heart of the matter.
      sigpic
      Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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        #18
        Re: Food Arguments

        It's taken me a while to read through all these posts, but I think I feel the same as Danie. I feel like (after reading everything everybody has to say) that he isn't being picky, he's just being stubborn. And I don't know about you, but I don't love ANYBODY enough to put up with that shit. Clearly, you all do, since you've all got husbands and have worked it out. But I really don't.

        I mean really, I'm not telling you to leave him, but he has come into YOUR home, and decided everything you do isn't the right way to do things. And that's total bullshit. It would drive me crazy.

        The only time I've ever lived with a spouse, it was kinda like this. I was 21, and just learning to cook for others (I could feed myself well enough), and he was willing to eat anything I made, but he was never willing to clean. He just wanted to live with me, put his shit wherever he wanted, eat my food (or if I didn't cook, eat takeout), and then go out with his friends or play video games. I think he kept the house clean for like the first week, and then the next six months we lived together, I did all the cleaning. And his reasoning was A) he was just stubborn and if I asked him to clean something up, he'd refuse, he had to do it in his own time aka never, or B) I was a student and he was working, and he was too tired after doing his office job all day to actually clean. Which was somehow drastically different than me studying for 10 hours at school and having to come home to cook and clean too, on top of homework.

        If I put something somewhere he didn't like, he'd complain about it. If I cleaned up his mess, he'd complain about it. If I asked him to clean up his mess then, he'd tell me not to tell him what to do. I basically lived in filth for six months, then he broke up with me (which is a whole other story)

        So yeah, I dunno. I suppose there is compromise to be had, but I really just don't love anything or anybody enough (except maybe my cat) to put up with that stuff. But I AM neurotic, OCD, and demanding.


        Mostly art.

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          #19
          Re: Food Arguments

          As an old fart with a reasonably happy long term marriage, let me toss in my $1.25.

          Don't worry so much. Give it time.

          You can't change people, but people will change FOR YOU if they have time, and a reason to do so.

          I don't do schedules well, but, somehow, over the years, K'Roe and I have managed to divide up the work in a reasonable way. I, personally, have a definite preference for letting things happen organically - too strong an attempt at planning frequently produces problems that wouldn't show up otherwise.

          On the other hand, if he isn't respectful of your needs and desires, then you are in a one-way relationship, and headed for heartache if you stay with him.
          Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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            #20
            Re: Food Arguments

            Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
            It's taken me a while to read through all these posts, but I think I feel the same as Danie. I feel like (after reading everything everybody has to say) that he isn't being picky, he's just being stubborn. And I don't know about you, but I don't love ANYBODY enough to put up with that shit. Clearly, you all do, since you've all got husbands and have worked it out. But I really don't.
            It hasn't been without frustration or fights. Sometimes the biggest challenge was just getting him to say, bluntly, "I don't like x, please don't cook it any more".

            My husband's food choices have improved so much over the past 20 years, lol. They had already begun improving within the first year or so - he wasn't given any choice in what he could eat while living at home w/his parents. I was like, "here, try this animal/plant!" I even got him to eat sashimi - his idea of seafood was a McDonald's Filet of Fish.

            Now if I could just get him to try his hand at cooking...
            The forum member formerly known as perzephone. Or Perze. I've shed a skin.

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              #21
              Re: Food Arguments

              Originally posted by perzephone View Post

              Now if I could just get him to try his hand at cooking...
              I like cooking, but if I constantly had to cook for someone else, I wouldn't do it. That's why people have babies. If I wanted to always make sure I was feeding something, I'd have a baby.


              Mostly art.

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                #22
                Re: Food Arguments

                Originally posted by volcaniclastic View Post
                Clearly, you all do, since you've all got husbands and have worked it out. But I really don't.
                No husband here!!!! LOL

                [/QUOTE]I mean really, I'm not telling you to leave him, but he has come into YOUR home, and decided everything you do isn't the right way to do things. And that's total bullshit. It would drive me crazy.

                [/QUOTE]

                Exactly! My ex-bf was coming over here, to my house, for the weekends and trying to take over. It's one thing to make suggestions, but it got rude and controlling.

                Insofar as cleaning, etc., I'm very good with organizational skills, and I do have a schedule for things like dusting, vacuuming, etc. As far as "picking up" (which I find is what a lot of folks actually mean when they say "cleaning") I very rarely put anything where it doesn't belong. This saves immense amounts of time. Developing tiny habits like wiping the inside of the microwave with a damp paper towel after every use saves time too - no big scrubbing jobs needed if you don't let stuff accumulate.
                sigpic
                Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                  #23
                  Re: Food Arguments

                  I never do any cleaning until it's possible to write my name in the dust. Mr Penry is in total agreement. Better dust than damage, he reckons....
                  www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


                  Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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                    #24
                    Re: Food Arguments

                    Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
                    No husband here!!!! LOL

                    Insofar as cleaning, etc., I'm very good with organizational skills, and I do have a schedule for things like dusting, vacuuming, etc. As far as "picking up" (which I find is what a lot of folks actually mean when they say "cleaning") I very rarely put anything where it doesn't belong. This saves immense amounts of time. Developing tiny habits like wiping the inside of the microwave with a damp paper towel after every use saves time too - no big scrubbing jobs needed if you don't let stuff accumulate.
                    Thanks for the tip! I have to admit, I'm a little chaotic. I tend to leave things everywhere, because if i put it away and I'm not done with it, I forget to do it. I also space out a lot and leave things out because I got distracted by something else. I thrive in somewhat of an independent environment, but much like when I studied and had to make out schedules, I'm finding that I need to create a lot of structure to balance the irregularities. My working memory is crap, so I can't be relied on to remember anything that isn't burned into my long-term memory or written down.

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