The Concept of Modesty

[Bjorn]

Re: The Concept of Modesty

Just random babbling:

I wonder if the concept of modesty stemmed from the original idea that women were property. Women were betrothed and pretty much traded or promised to a man with the sole intention of bearing children for him. They take the last name. They BECOME the property of their husbands (I'm speaking in generalities here as a means to get to my point). So if you're a wife, your goods are therefore for your husband only -- or that's the idea. The concept of modesty is therefore not for the person in question but a measure of respect given to the owner of said goods.

I avoided being religiously specific because I'm trying to reach a more general idea of men towards women, not Christian men or Muslim men or anything like that.

Ok, and then times changed. Women's liberation. While this is happening, you still have that whole IDEA of how women should act. Look at the clothes they wore! Lots of fabric. Not much skin. Modesty is for men. You're either preserving yourself for the exclusive viewing/pleasure of one, or you're protecting yourself against attack by not attracting attention in a time where there was less police/law to stop anything nefarious from happening.





Just a thought. Not well fleshed out but I usually stumble across all my good ideas by word-vomit.

[thalassa]

Re: The Concept of Modesty

I think humans have a tendency to objectify things that aren't objects and personify things that aren't persons, as a way of relating (or refusing to relate) with them.

Knowing that this is the case, and that one will be judged on the basis of what they wear (or their hair, their piercings, their tattoos, etc), I think that it is foolish to think that there is no social penalty for not being "modest". And by modesty, I don't mean "covered up". Being modest used to be about personality traits too...not just clothing--having humility, being unassuming, not being "all flash and no substance". Since clothing is a means of personal expression, "modesty" has taken on a secondary meaning in that regard. What is modest will vary by culture, and sub-culture, and individual...

With that being said, I believe in modesty. I just don't think that you need to be all covered up to practice it. Although, I do think one should show some common sense and dress appropriately for the activities one wishes to engage in...and I think the best way to judge one's true feelings on the matter isn't on what they do as an individual, but what they let their children do. My daughter (simply because "modesty" is usually directed towards women) wears a bikini to the pool, but a tankini or one piece to the beach (waves, you know)...she wears skorts or shorts or leggings under skirts (because she likes to cartwheel and do flips)...she wears tank tops, but not to school (because those are the rules--for boys and girls)...and she wears a helmet when she bikes (and knee/elbow pads when she skateboards)...and when she wasnts to wear socks that don't match (its cool), dad's tshirts made into dresses, or faerie wings, thats okay too.

[moonixir]

Re: The Concept of Modesty

The only people that have given me crap about what I have worn in the past is my family actually. They thought I was being immodest by showing just a little bit of my collar bone one time when I was in Highschool and told I look like a whore. What they failed to realize is just what you stated, modesty is a concept. Concepts shift between one person to another. One person might not think it a big deal to have a skirt that is mid thigh and the blouse that accentuates the curves because it's comfortable for them and their girly bits are still covered. Others? Unless you are covered from head to foot, you're being immodest. I also believe it changes per the culture around you. You hear of women that have to wear burkas (their choice), cover their hair (their choice, my sister as just started doing that recently and it's awesome), etc.

I'm most comfortable at home. Most times, if it's the boyfriend and me, I opt for my birthday suit. I'm most comfortable in that, but in public? I wear dresses, skirts, shorts.. if people have a problem with it and try to say something to me about it, I brush it off. It's none of their concern, and I wear clothes to where I'm comfortable. If I'm comfortable, I'm alright. Now have I seen people, male and female, wearing things that I don't agree with? Of course. But it's not any of my business. I might not like the style or the choice of the ensemble, but really.. the way I think about it is am I going to get people to change their minds just because I don't agree with it? No. Not at all! So it's not any of my business at all.

I believe in it, and I am modest to a point, but there is always going to be someone who disagrees with my version of what modesty is because their version they have in their head is different.

[Dahll Haus]

Re: The Concept of Modesty

Personally I think the idea of more clothes = modesty is crap. People will always give a woman crap for what they wear. What pisses me off is when the whole slut shaming thing gets applied one individual basis. I have gone into restaurants wearing a tank top and jeans, sat next to a (flat chested) woman wearing a halter top and mini skirt and be told by management that I need to cover up. The reason I get singled out? I have big breasts. I don't wear very low cut tops or things that show a lot of skin, but I still have bitches making comments because I have big tits, therefore I must be a slut.

Honestly, I usually wear *more* clothes from the waist up to cover the King-Kong restraint-esque bras I have to wear.

[volcaniclastic]

Re: The Concept of Modesty

I don't really notice any stares, or anything. Well...on occasion because I don't shave my legs, but when I catch that, I always give the person the "you got beef with me?" look, and that's it.

I like to think that because I don't shave my legs, or pluck my eyebrows, or wear makeup, I'm not as attractive to the general public as other women might be. Why would someone want to stare at or abuse me? I don't conform to the beauty norm for modern era women. Also, I'm tough as shit. People generally don't want to mess with me, anyhow.

As for modesty...the human body is wonderful, and beautiful, and I think it is a shame to cover it up for the sake of culture, or religion, or insecurities. I have stretch marks and fatty sections I don't like too, but my body is still beautiful, because I'm human. And I feel that way about everybody's bodies - fat or thin, old or young. Naked flesh is just flesh. Show it, flaunt it, do what you want with it. But hide it because you're afraid of showing it? That's a crime.