Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

[thalassa]

Re: Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

She posted just a few days ago:

Update! My youngest is still peeing all over the house. My other two cats still hate him, and my boyfriend is moving out unless I find somewhere for him.

I have nowhere to go with 3 cats, and I'm afraid if I give him away somebody won't be able to tolerate his behavior issues and they'll send him to the pound to die.

I'm so worried, I don't know what to do.

To which Larix replied:

It seems you prefer to sleep with a cat instead of sleeping with your boyfriend.

Well - why not marry the cat then?

...which I *think* is what actually was the trigger that set of this entire tangent.

Because, lets face it, that was just obnoxious as a comment (and in this instance, I don't care that he's not here to defend himself).




I'm just thinking that we've all (myself included) lost sight of the point of the thread... I also think I might feel a bit wierd to come back to my thread on cat problems to see (what could be interpreted as) all this judgement on my relationship, etc. It might be more helpful to either address the issues of the cat...or the issue of deciding whether or not to keep the cat (and finding a new home or shelter for it), now that we've beaten the relationship vs cat thing to death.

[DanieMarie]

Re: Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

Oops, sorry...I missed that!

I only saw up to the second post he made about choosing a pet over a partner and thought that he'd bumped the thread, because the discussion went in that direction. It does seem like that was the trigger, and that was a pretty harsh comment. Sorry to the OP.

Ok, so to get back on topic then, my old cat used to pee when he was stressed out. Whenever I had a new job, went away, or I had a stressy period personally, he peed. My vet recommended some supplements that help calm cats, and that worked fairly well.

[Medusa]

Re: Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

My cat Ian used to pee on my gf's things. Her boots and pants especially.

In this instance..he was right about her. He ran away......

I should have run away. Then she put our dog down and lied about it.
Then she tried to sic her rotty on me. The same rotty I helped raised.

It didn't work.

And she's gone now.

because I threatened to kill her.

So. There's that. Since we are sharing stories.

[Willow]

Re: Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

I gave up plans to ever bring my cat to live with me years ago when I got married. It was sort of an ultimatum... but he has major cat allergies and asthma, so it was really a choice between having a dead husband with a cat or a live husband without a cat.

It's not the same situation. My cat is completely satisfied at my dad's house with their other cat, so the only one that's really losing out in this situation is me. But I get visits.

I know, it's not the same thing. But I haven't posted in awhile, I miss my kitty, and everything is circumstantial.

[Rae'ya]

Re: Boyfriend constantly fighting with me about cats

She posted just a few days ago:It might be more helpful to either address the issues of the cat...or the issue of deciding whether or not to keep the cat (and finding a new home or shelter for it), now that we've beaten the relationship vs cat thing to death.

I've been staying away from the derail, but my advice on the original issue is the same as it was back on page 3. I suspect this particular cat is not happy in a multi-cat household and needs either some major environmental changes, a behvioural work up +/- medication, or if neither of those are an option, rehoming to a single-cat house where he will be able to relax and be happy.