Wow. I have had a crazy few weeks, and I just kind of need to let off some steam, so I'm just going to spill most of the biggest things that went down, and feel free to ignore this entire post if you want to. Or comment if you want. I don't care really.
I moved to a new state!
Yeah, this one is big. Huge. Enormous. I now live in Missouri, about two hours west of St. Louis. It's a nice town, a college town, lots of cafes and school buildings around everywhere, but I'm figuring out how to maneuver and stuff. Figuring out how the geography of this particular town works, and how to get where I need to go, where to park, etc. It's nice because there's pretty much everything I need to live here, so there's not an issue of "oh, we don't have one of those, you have to drive for several hours..." it's just an issue of "I'm sure there's one somewhere, let me ask Siri."
But Missouri is different than Kentucky a little bit, not INCREDIBLY so, but it is. So I still have that awkward newcomer thing about me. Like figuring out what is and is not against the law here, and how the city systems work.
This, of course, means... I moved out of my mom's house.
That's also huge for me. I was planning on doing that a year ago, then I needed her and she needed me and we sort of fell into that rhythm of no one moving anywhere. But now I don't live with her anymore. I live with two other female grad students. We split the rent and utilities evenly, and they're both really cool people and easy to live with. So it's a nice situation.
But this means I have to figure out how to get things on my own, not depending on my mom to buy me stuff. Food is an issue. I've been trying to figure out how often to buy groceries, how to get them cheapest and still good quality, how to budget the MINISCULE amount of money I have... because of course groceries aren't the only thing I need to buy. But eating has always been a weird issue for me, so I'm just trying to get that sorted right now, but it means I look over other things sometimes.
Ugh, adulthood. How do. I mean, I love having independence, but seriously.
oh, also, I don't have furniture yet. I have to wait a month to get actual furniture. so my closet is my suitcase, my bed is just a mattress on the floor, and my desk is a cardboard box lol.
I'm in grad school now.
Yep, you are talking to a graduate student (assuming you're talking to me.) I'm apparently that girl that keeps switching her major, because in college as an undergrad, I originally chose English, then added Psychology to that and made a double major, then regretted it, dropped Psych, wanted to add History but it was too late to, so I just majored in English alone. Then halfway through my senior year I was all of a sudden like "I SHOULD HAVE MAJORED IN POLITICAL SCIENCE!!!" Sigh.
And that happened again in the past couple of weeks. I came to grad school assuming I was gonna be a reporter/journalist person. But then during my first journalism class, I found out that reporters are not allowed to have political affiliations, allegiance to any faction, or membership in any group that is trying to change policy. Which.... well, I live for that kind of stuff. I cannot even list how many allegiances I have. So I had a minor mental breakdown, and in the end, refused to cut ties to my social justice causes, and dropped the reporting major.
I'm majoring in Strategic Communication now, which is like advertising and public relations. I originally didn't want to major in this, because it sounded really corporate, and ... ugh, corporations. But I've learned that you can also use these same skills to work for non-profits, social causes, activist groups, or politicians. So yeah. That's the plan.
(of course activists need PR, why didn't I think of that??)
I still don't have a job...
But I do have a career path, a major I feel comfortable with (FINALLY!) and I am a grad student, which is kind of like a job. And I'm going to start volunteering for my favorite US presidential candidate. So there's that.
And then there's the random things that happened this week, that I totally was not expecting at all and was not ready for. The above stuff, I was kind of expecting. Doesn't mean I was ready for it, but at least I knew a little bit. I mean, I knew I was going to grad school, I knew I was gonna move to Missouri, all that stuff is planned.
But THE RANDOM THINGS. Oh my gods.
This week, three of my friends got arrested for peacefully protesting, which they should not have been arrested for, because that is not illegal. It was insane. An absolute mess. And I was trying to get that issue trending on twitter, but hardly anyone seemed to care, so I ... kind of had another minor breakdown about that. And I'm not in that city anymore, so I felt absolutely useless. Which I hate.
They've been released, there was a trial Friday morning, I don't know how it went.
And then in addition to that, people keep coming out to me as various sexualities and gender orientations, which is great, I'm glad they feel comfortable enough around me to trust me with that information, but I also never know what exactly to say. Even though I am queer myself, and I know what it's like to come out, cause I've done that. But yeah... I'm always paranoid that I'm going to say something wrong and offend them accidentally, and lose their friendship, and ... well, that would be devastating, I really like these people.
I think the conversation went okay this time. But I guess this is the perfectionist in me showing herself, I always want to be ABSOLUTELY SURE, and I can almost never be that sure.
And then on top of all that, someone I greatly admire (like a LOT) just died yesterday. at the age of 21. and I.... I don't usually mourn when people die actually, but this time....
it was so shocking, and horrible, and unexpected. at 21... no one should die that young.
so yeah, that's been my life recently. and that's why I haven't been online much. *sigh*
I moved to a new state!
Yeah, this one is big. Huge. Enormous. I now live in Missouri, about two hours west of St. Louis. It's a nice town, a college town, lots of cafes and school buildings around everywhere, but I'm figuring out how to maneuver and stuff. Figuring out how the geography of this particular town works, and how to get where I need to go, where to park, etc. It's nice because there's pretty much everything I need to live here, so there's not an issue of "oh, we don't have one of those, you have to drive for several hours..." it's just an issue of "I'm sure there's one somewhere, let me ask Siri."
But Missouri is different than Kentucky a little bit, not INCREDIBLY so, but it is. So I still have that awkward newcomer thing about me. Like figuring out what is and is not against the law here, and how the city systems work.
This, of course, means... I moved out of my mom's house.
That's also huge for me. I was planning on doing that a year ago, then I needed her and she needed me and we sort of fell into that rhythm of no one moving anywhere. But now I don't live with her anymore. I live with two other female grad students. We split the rent and utilities evenly, and they're both really cool people and easy to live with. So it's a nice situation.
But this means I have to figure out how to get things on my own, not depending on my mom to buy me stuff. Food is an issue. I've been trying to figure out how often to buy groceries, how to get them cheapest and still good quality, how to budget the MINISCULE amount of money I have... because of course groceries aren't the only thing I need to buy. But eating has always been a weird issue for me, so I'm just trying to get that sorted right now, but it means I look over other things sometimes.
Ugh, adulthood. How do. I mean, I love having independence, but seriously.
oh, also, I don't have furniture yet. I have to wait a month to get actual furniture. so my closet is my suitcase, my bed is just a mattress on the floor, and my desk is a cardboard box lol.
I'm in grad school now.
Yep, you are talking to a graduate student (assuming you're talking to me.) I'm apparently that girl that keeps switching her major, because in college as an undergrad, I originally chose English, then added Psychology to that and made a double major, then regretted it, dropped Psych, wanted to add History but it was too late to, so I just majored in English alone. Then halfway through my senior year I was all of a sudden like "I SHOULD HAVE MAJORED IN POLITICAL SCIENCE!!!" Sigh.
And that happened again in the past couple of weeks. I came to grad school assuming I was gonna be a reporter/journalist person. But then during my first journalism class, I found out that reporters are not allowed to have political affiliations, allegiance to any faction, or membership in any group that is trying to change policy. Which.... well, I live for that kind of stuff. I cannot even list how many allegiances I have. So I had a minor mental breakdown, and in the end, refused to cut ties to my social justice causes, and dropped the reporting major.
I'm majoring in Strategic Communication now, which is like advertising and public relations. I originally didn't want to major in this, because it sounded really corporate, and ... ugh, corporations. But I've learned that you can also use these same skills to work for non-profits, social causes, activist groups, or politicians. So yeah. That's the plan.
(of course activists need PR, why didn't I think of that??)
I still don't have a job...
But I do have a career path, a major I feel comfortable with (FINALLY!) and I am a grad student, which is kind of like a job. And I'm going to start volunteering for my favorite US presidential candidate. So there's that.
And then there's the random things that happened this week, that I totally was not expecting at all and was not ready for. The above stuff, I was kind of expecting. Doesn't mean I was ready for it, but at least I knew a little bit. I mean, I knew I was going to grad school, I knew I was gonna move to Missouri, all that stuff is planned.
But THE RANDOM THINGS. Oh my gods.
This week, three of my friends got arrested for peacefully protesting, which they should not have been arrested for, because that is not illegal. It was insane. An absolute mess. And I was trying to get that issue trending on twitter, but hardly anyone seemed to care, so I ... kind of had another minor breakdown about that. And I'm not in that city anymore, so I felt absolutely useless. Which I hate.
They've been released, there was a trial Friday morning, I don't know how it went.
And then in addition to that, people keep coming out to me as various sexualities and gender orientations, which is great, I'm glad they feel comfortable enough around me to trust me with that information, but I also never know what exactly to say. Even though I am queer myself, and I know what it's like to come out, cause I've done that. But yeah... I'm always paranoid that I'm going to say something wrong and offend them accidentally, and lose their friendship, and ... well, that would be devastating, I really like these people.
I think the conversation went okay this time. But I guess this is the perfectionist in me showing herself, I always want to be ABSOLUTELY SURE, and I can almost never be that sure.
And then on top of all that, someone I greatly admire (like a LOT) just died yesterday. at the age of 21. and I.... I don't usually mourn when people die actually, but this time....
it was so shocking, and horrible, and unexpected. at 21... no one should die that young.
so yeah, that's been my life recently. and that's why I haven't been online much. *sigh*
yeah, as more time goes by I do feel comfortable here... I know I'm in the right place, it's just a matter of figuring out how to take care of myself
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