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THE RANT THREAD!

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    #4231
    Re: THE RANT THREAD!

    Medusa and I follow a lot of the same routines. Even down to Solitaire and Crossword, though I actually spend more time with Sudoku. Which replaces podcasts while I'm waiting for the pass-the-hell-out pills to kick in. I'll also burn the midnight oil with some droning on Netflix.

    I do, however, over-analyze the living shit out of things breaking them down so as to lose the overall emotional response. I'll also stuff things into categories of "not my rock", "ancient history" or "nothing I can change".

    Just that once in a while something triggers an avalanche. This current avalanche started with what should have been a positive note: my ex-wife finally dumped the breaking down POS Grand Am and bought her very first brand new car. Then I started to think... and that's where the trouble began. Nothing of my routine worked, nothing in compartmentalizing worked. Like a black hole, I just put myself into a deep abyss, by thoughts and feelings, alone.

    I'm doing better today. My psychosis is returning, slowly, and I can feel the sociopath starting to warm up. But gawds how I abhor hurting, crying, feeling like a victim of my own emotions! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

    And thank you, my friends, for putting up with my batshittedness! Seriously. Thank you!




    "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

    "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

    "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

    "The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." - Johnny Depp


    Comment

      #4232
      Re: THE RANT THREAD!

      I myself have been down that road Chain,and BTW the bowl I referred to is not chili,more in the line of medicinal herbs.
      MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

      all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
      NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
      don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




      sigpic

      my new page here,let me know what you think.


      nothing but the shadow of what was

      witchvox
      http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

      Comment

        #4233
        Re: THE RANT THREAD!

        Possible gov't shutdown means possible no paycheck.

        Eff Repugnican Connie Bastards all to hell.
        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
        sigpic

        Comment

          #4234
          Re: THE RANT THREAD!

          Originally posted by ChainLightning View Post
          ...Then I started to think... and that's where the trouble began. Nothing of my routine worked, nothing in compartmentalizing worked. Like a black hole, I just put myself into a deep abyss, by thoughts and feelings, alone....
          That's odd...

          I have the exact opposite problem.

          I don't give a shit about anything any more. I just don't care. The whole world could go up in flames and crash into the moon for all I care, and I'd just stand there like a Buddha, looking at it, and feeling nothing whatsoever, except maybe a mild regret at the loss of my wife & dog.

          I'm not sure this is much better...

          I think I must miss caring. For a while, it gave me an excuse to get out of bed, or stay straight.

          But I will agree that the oblivion of sleeping pills is the highlight of the day. I think that's what it feels like to be dead, and I can't see why people fear it (no, I'm not going to off myself. I'm trying to find something to care about again...).
          Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

          Comment

            #4235
            Re: THE RANT THREAD!

            If you micromanage one more thing, I'm going to cut you. You're wasting my working time by standing here telling me what I should be doing!


            Mostly art.

            Comment

              #4236
              Re: THE RANT THREAD!

              I'm PO'd about my lack of self control...

              I find it very hard to get myself to work out, or to keep myself from eating whenever I get a bit peckish... My body is not keeping its "good" shape anymore, and although I want to do something to stop this, and I make plans, they always seem to fall apart. *sigh*

              Comment

                #4237
                Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                mind your children before tellin me how to raise mine, mom. im an adult and can care for my own.

                Comment

                  #4238
                  Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                  Republicans suck. Fuck you House of Representatives.
                  Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                  sigpic

                  Comment

                    #4239
                    Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                    You are reading my Mind Thal,quit spying on my mind and my email and my freaking inner thoughts...BTW Repubs you would not like my thought about you guys one bit.
                    MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                    all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                    NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                    don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                    sigpic

                    my new page here,let me know what you think.


                    nothing but the shadow of what was

                    witchvox
                    http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

                    Comment

                      #4240
                      Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                      A big hearty F you to:

                      - People who ride their bikes on the sidewalk and go by at 20-40 MPH without so much as a warning
                      - Politicians, ALL of them (maybe with a few notable exceptions)
                      - Anyone who tries to tell me my path is of the devil
                      - Loud people. Especially when stuck on a bus with them. Seriously, F you.
                      - Rich people who were born into richness and don't do shit worth a damn for the world
                      - Anyone who thinks eSports is a real sport


                      That should do for now, already feel a bit better.
                      What one believes in is infinitely more important than WHO they believe in.

                      Comment

                        #4241
                        Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                        ...where to start...

                        I hate the medical world... at least around here. My aunt has been given 10-12 mo to live due to blasted lung cancer. Now I know this is a very aggressive cancer and survivors are rare, but they told her a month ago she was cancer free. It's now all over her friggin body because instead of testing a spot that showed up on the PET scan they decided it was "just inflammation". If they would have removed it she would have actually been cancer free and maybe we would have had a few years of remission before this.

                        And my mother. Gods, my mother. My mother is an f*ing hypochondriac. But she does have some serious s**t actually wrong with her. Her gums are frigging receding from her teeth at a stellar rate (possibly because the f*ing dentist put in metal crowns when she's allergic to metal, and now there's not enough money left in the dental fund to replace them). She's had a ruptured disk in her back for years now. She's had to have a part of her colon removed due to diverticulitis/losis whichever is the more severe version. She had to have her overies removed due to cysts the docs overlooked for years... the surgeon said they were barely recognizable. And due to all the belly surgeries her insides are sticking to her belly wall which I hear is quite painful... She's got low potassium, low B12 and is supplementing on those. She's got fibromyalgia. She gets an infection and they can't get rid of it. She's been tested for everything under the sun. STD's, lupis, lyme disease. I don't even know it all. And now her f*ing doctor won't see her anymore because he doesn't have a clue what's wrong with her and is tired of trying to figure it out. He said go to your specialist... she has to have a referral to go to the f*ing specialist and he sent her to the wrong one... And he accused her of doing drugs. Could she be? IDK but I doubt it. She's a f*ing wreck. Physically and emotionally (it's her sister dying of cancer btw)

                        I think I mentioned the metaphorical train wreck with my dad on here...

                        And I have to find a new job. I really have to. While 6 mo preggo. Because I'm on my final warning at work. Because I just don't seem to understand people. I try to be assertive and I'm told I'm being rude. I try to be more gentle about it and I'm told I'm not confident enough. Apparently I just don't have the right approach and I really don't know what I need to do to change that. Know I need to work on it, but hell, if nobody can help me in a way I f*ing understand and I can't afford f*ing counseling how the hell am I supposed to fix it? And the next time I toe out of line I'll prolly get fired. Damn. I need to find a job that will pay decent and won't require me to go back to school or deal a whole hell of a lot with people because I'm sick of it. I'm thinking assembly. Mind numbing, but hell I can probably mange that without having to deal with too many other folks.

                        And I really hate having to pee like every hour... it's a nuisance.

                        And we're getting a puppy tonight. I really want a puppy but I'm also dreading it. Potty training. Chewing. Hyperactivity. Must remember adorable snuggling, cuddling. Warm and fuzzy-ing

                        It seems like the only thing going right is me and the hubby and we barely get to see each other with our work schedules so there's not really much time for it to go wrong, right?

                        I really wanna go play some zombie's right now but I don't have a clue how to get it started and if I don't have anyone to play with I'd prolly die in the first round anyway...
                        We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                        I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                        It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                        Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                        -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                        Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                        Comment

                          #4242
                          Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                          ...I think I may have killed it... or at least seriously maimed.
                          We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                          I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                          It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                          Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                          -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                          Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                          Comment

                            #4243
                            Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                            Originally posted by Shahaku View Post
                            ...I think I may have killed it... or at least seriously maimed.
                            Well done! :P
                            ThorSon's milkshake brings all the PF girls to the yard - Volcaniclastic

                            RIP

                            I have never been across the way
                            Seen the desert and the birds
                            You cut your hair short
                            Like a shush to an insult
                            The world had been yelling
                            Since the day you were born
                            Revolting with anger
                            While it smiled like it was cute
                            That everything was shit.
                            - J. Wylder

                            Comment

                              #4244
                              Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                              I'm getting to the point when pregnancy is becoming uncomfortable, and I know it's just going to get worse from here. *groan*

                              Also, I should be doing my homework, but I kind of just want to space out and not do anything. Not a good time to be feeling that way because October is going to be a very busy month for me... as is November... and December... and ...

                              Comment

                                #4245
                                Re: THE RANT THREAD!

                                Originally posted by Raphaeline View Post
                                I'm getting to the point when pregnancy is becoming uncomfortable, and I know it's just going to get worse from here. *groan*

                                Also, I should be doing my homework, but I kind of just want to space out and not do anything. Not a good time to be feeling that way because October is going to be a very busy month for me... as is November... and December... and ...
                                completely unrelated, but I finally understand your obsession with Hanson. Holy shit, they aged well...


                                Mostly art.

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