Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

[Juniper]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Genuine curiosity.

Is there any valid reason to keep this topic open? I'm seeing a lot of back and forth of the same stuff with no real forward movement at this point. Rather than letting it get out of control (which is clearly the direction it's heading in) I may just nip it in the bud now... Unless someone can give me a really good, convincing reason why I should leave it open.

Thanks.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Genuine curiosity.

Is there any valid reason to keep this topic open? I'm seeing a lot of back and forth of the same stuff with no real forward movement at this point. Rather than letting it get out of control (which is clearly the direction it's heading in) I may just nip it in the bud now... Unless someone can give me a really good, convincing reason why I should leave it open.

Thanks.

My vote is: Shoot it & put it out of its misery before it reproduces!

And thank you, BobbyBobby99.

[thalassa]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

The Hubby finally read this thread.

He says that he'll divorce me if I become a "godly wife". He also says that if he's secure enough in his manhood to work it out with a strong woman.


Since he's the only man that matters, I don't give a fig what anyone else thinks.


And, I don't care if we shoot it either.

[MaskedOne]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Genuine curiosity.

Is there any valid reason to keep this topic open? I'm seeing a lot of back and forth of the same stuff with no real forward movement at this point. Rather than letting it get out of control (which is clearly the direction it's heading in) I may just nip it in the bud now... Unless someone can give me a really good, convincing reason why I should leave it open.

Thanks.

Kill it. Kill it with fire.

[Thothur]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

1.) Keep God first, your husband second.

Nope, don't fly.

This seems to me as highly dysfunctional.

I keep my wife first in all things. This is above all others and all other family members. She does the same for me.

'But wait, you aren't Christian!', you may say. True. But I was when I got married, and so was my wife. In fact she was VERY Christian. And guess what, we STILL kept each other first. HA!

And guess what, we're still incredibly, very, magically happily married, and that ol' wiley, cranky, Khazarian mountain god isn't anywhere to be found. Looks like we made the right choice on that one.

2.) Understand the covenant.

I agree with this one. Marriage is a covenant. It's between two people and if applicable their deity(ies). Treat it as such. If you enter into it with the understanding that it's a covenant, you'll be much less likely to think you can just bolt at the first sign of hardship, and much more likely to stick around during the rough times. Life has thrown hell at my wife and I, and we have always come out of the other side that much stronger. In fact, we went through such hell our first few years together from external forces arrayed against us, that there is absolutely NOTHING that could be thrown at us that would even cause us to blink. Like a sword that needs to be heated and beaten to acquire a proper temper, we've been tested, and we passed with flying colors. Our covenant is bedrock solid.

3.) Submit.

Wow, the control freaks are all over this one. I don't really need to add anything more to this. Everyone's already done a pretty good job of displaying radical examples of both ends of the spectrum.

4.) Speak edifying words only.

I'd tend to agree with this one. Nothing is worse than bashing one's spouse to others. Either talk to your spouse directly if you have a problem, or shut the heck up. But bashing them to your friends, siblings, parents, co-workers? Completely and totally unacceptable. Some of it eventually WILL get back to them. Then you'll have some fun explaining to do.

5.) Manage the home like the Proverbs 31 women.

If that's their current 'job', and they don't have another one, then there are worse things to aspire to, I suppose.

6.) Do it anyway.

I'd agree with this one. I'd also say, 'And talk to your spouse if you feel they are lacking in some area.' Communication, duh. If you never bring up a deficiency, your spouse will never know there is one. You can't expect that they'll just magically read your mind to know where you think they're doing poorly.

7.) Communicate.

Pfft! Didn't I just say that? See #6 above.

8.) Remember the 80/20 Principle.

I'd say the general point is a good one. Focus on the positive instead of the negative. But also DO address the negative. If they're honest they'll try to do some work to shore up their weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

9.) Strive to please him.

This one isn't entirely horrible. As long as it's a two way street, it can be a good thing. It also helps if you have similar interests before you get married. My wife loves archery and swordplay. And guess what... so do I. Now we both have a fencing partner and a range buddy. Occasionally we'll play a RPG together, and we make a totally kick ass team. Those who slay together, stay together. Amazing how that works.

10.) Cover him him in prayer.

We're not much for this, but whatever floats one's boat, eh? Can't hurt I suppose.

- - - Updated - - -

Kill it. Kill it with fire.

Huh. I found it interesting and thought provoking. It also gave me a greater appreciation for how awesome my wife is! I suppose that some thinner skinned folks may get their knickers wadded up, but you know what they say about pleasing all of the people all of the time...

[Monster]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Why close it?

This thread was fine so long as the woman in the OP's link was being vilified. But I come along and say "I think she's got it right" and oh hell no....here we go. I become a misogynistic, sexist and whatever else the catchphrases are this week.

I'm a big boy. I can take it. I just kind of find it funny that the liberal idealists around here preach tolerance and acceptance to everyone except those that don't believe what they believe.

[Tylluan Penry]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Women are the only one of the two sexes who won't tell their significant other what they want in the bedroom because they don't want their man to think that they are a slut.........yet they will claim boredom and lack of attention to find some random guy who will screw them and treat them like a two dollar hooker.

You really can't generalise... there are plenty (but not all) of men who don't tell their partners what they really want in the bedroom either.

I think you may have been hanging around with the wrong sort of girls

[Heka]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

(Personally getting sick of this thread still being here. I'm quite happy if you squash it. Just getting bored of it being here. Sorry dudes that are enjoying it)

[Monster]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

You really can't generalise... there are plenty (but not all) of men who don't tell their partners what they really want in the bedroom either.

I think you may have been hanging around with the wrong sort of girls

Oh....In a previous post I said that men are guilty of that as well. Just that women are more guilty of it. Because lets face it, there really isn't much a man doesn't want to do with a woman if she just asks for it.

And I can't deny that I've had my fair share of.....females like I've described. But when the vast majority of them are that way, at what point does it stop being the "wrong sort" and becomes "most, but not all?"

[Medusa]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Look. If this chic wants to be a godly wife, good for her. But to push those ideals on other Christian women are what bugs me. Because each relationship is different. Now I will say if I was a Christian, I would put God first. But I would hope the man would put God first as well. And when they say put your husband first. I would hope the man was also told to put the wife first. I think with this balance of giving and consideration, then it would be a good match. I'm not vilifying her.

I'm an atheist. I can't put God first. So this doesn't work for me. I think her points in moderation and reciprocation, would indeed work. I just think Monster's views are wrong.

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I'm the one who put it up and I'm even done with it. But I am excited about the amount of good discussion that came of it! Thank you guys, you're awesome! It was better than I expected!

[ChainLightning]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I've noticed that men are more guilty of it.

What that is, it's called "anecdotal", not "statistical". You can't generalize 'most' unless to qualify even that with just what you have encountered.

In the end, I don't see where pointing fingers at a gender helps anything. That sort of negative behavior is not unlike blame. It's counterproductive.

[Monster]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Look. If this chic wants to be a godly wife, good for her. But to push those ideals on other Christian women are what bugs me. Because each relationship is different. Now I will say if I was a Christian, I would put God first. But I would hope the man would put God first as well. And when they say put your husband first. I would hope the man was also told to put the wife first. I think with this balance of giving and consideration, then it would be a good match. I'm not vilifying her.

I'm an atheist. I can't put God first. So this doesn't work for me. I think her points in moderation and reciprocation, would indeed work. I just think Monster's views are wrong.

But its not like this chick chased this couple down, kicked in their front door, and said "You must believe this way!!!" No. They sought her advice and she simply told them what works for her and her husband.

As for my views....I think you are getting hung up on the submission part. As a man, I believe that I have a certain responsibility to take care of me and mine. Its not like I'm mistreating her. Or that I don't value her opinion. That's the furtherest thing from the truth. All I'm saying is there can only be one ultimate decision maker in relationships. In my relationships, that happens to be me.

[Medusa]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I've noticed that men are more guilty of it.

What that is, it's called "anecdotal", not "statistical". You can't generalize 'most' unless to qualify even that with just what you have encountered.

In the end, I don't see where pointing fingers at a gender helps anything. That sort of negative behavior is not unlike blame. It's counterproductive.

Oh no. Women do it too! Here's the thing. I realize under all that hate monger talk and generalizations screams someone who has been severely hurt by the opposite sex. Enough to not be trustful and to draw skewed versions of the opposite sex based on their past situations.

Still doesn't give them a pass for being a douche.

Sometimes people treat you shitty because they are shitty.
Sometimes people treat you shitty because you are shitty.

[Malflick]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Why close it?

This thread was fine so long as the woman in the OP's link was being vilified. But I come along and say "I think she's got it right" and oh hell no....here we go. I become a misogynistic, sexist and whatever else the catchphrases are this week.

I'm a big boy. I can take it. I just kind of find it funny that the liberal idealists around here preach tolerance and acceptance to everyone except those that don't believe what they believe.

So.... I'm not being tolerant because I refuse to roll over and agree with you? If you can take it why are you complaining that I am being honest in saying I think how you think about women is horrible? I accept the fact that you're here, and that you have a right to say what you want. I haven't given you negative reputation, or denied your right to say what you think.

Get off your high horse. You're not being crucified or persecuted for being a misogynist, you're just being confronted about it. Having people disagree with you isn't persecution, and it isn't being not tolerated. I'll gladly talk with you again on many more topics, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit by and let your statements stand unchallenged. That's what a debate IS.

I will definitely agree this thread is going in circles. We're getting no where.

- - - Updated - - -

But its not like this chick chased this couple down, kicked in their front door, and said "You must believe this way!!!" No. They sought her advice and she simply told them what works for her and her husband.

I actually agree with that. Getting mad at her for giving advice to people who asked for it is silly.