The Sex Talk

[Evergreen]

Re: The Sex Talk

My mom never had the talk with me. I don't know when I was first aware of sex, but it feels like I always knew the mechanics without ever being told. The only time my mom ever brought it up I was 17 or 18 and it was a brief 2 sentences each, casual exchange and was never brought up again. Now sure I was exposed to TV shows that had mild sex scenes at a young age; my mom and I watched shows like Hercules, Xena, and Law and Order: SVU together. To me all throughout my childhood and adolescence sex was just a part of life I shrugged off as no big deal.

To be honest I was never interested in sex like most teenagers. I was interested in guys but never sex. That part kicked in about age 20 or 21.

As to what I would say to my kids, if I had them, or kids in general I would be honest and age appropriate. Some kids, like me, don't need to be told. They just know without explanations or porn or books or anything. Just be aware. All kids are different.

[magusphredde]

Re: The Sex Talk

I must be weird ... I got interested in sex at an early age ... Around 12 I think ... Musta been that 16 year old baby sitter ... ... I never had much of a talk ... I learned all I could from books and asking friends ... Got a ton of misinformation from friends too ... Was a regular horn dog all thru high school and into my 30's ...

[Madness]

Re: The Sex Talk

Count me in the group that never had The Talk. I guess growing up with animals mating and giving birth made things a little easier. And my school had sex ed starting from 9 years old. It was mostly about your period, what isn't appropriate for an adult to do to you, etc. And anatomy.

I think my daughter will have the same farm animal sort of experience and get the basics from that, and then we'll go from there!

[thalassa]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=Madness link=topic=686.msg10858#msg10858 date=1289238114]
Count me in the group that never had The Talk. I guess growing up with animals mating and giving birth made things a little easier. And my school had sex ed starting from 9 years old. It was mostly about your period, what isn't appropriate for an adult to do to you, etc. And anatomy.

I think my daughter will have the same farm animal sort of experience and get the basics from that, and then we'll go from there!
[/quote]

I think thats the paranoia I have on the matter...like we had an open enough household, discussion and information wise, that it was never percieved as "the talk"...but I know that because of that (and in a different climate than that of today) that I was the most factually educated individual among my peers on the matter. I think what concerns me, both from my work with womens health in the military as well as my previous job prior to that with the Red CRoss in schools, and just from being on a college campus now and hearing what goes on...that whatever the hell these kids are being taught is effed up.

And that scares me...because thats how diseases spread, thats how peopleget pregnant before they are equipt to handle it....

[B. de Corbin]

Re: The Sex Talk

I just watched Law and Order: SVU with the kids, then answered the questions that came up...

Actually, since I had daughters, I was able to hand this task over to wifey, mostly (I actually have no idea what she told them, but I made sure it included birth control and STD's).

And SVU handled the problems that surround being careful about who you associate with, and where you do it, general dating stuff, and what your father will do to anybody who - in his judgement - is doing you harm....

[Raphaeline]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=B. de Corbin link=topic=686.msg10878#msg10878 date=1289242079]
I just watched Law and Order: SVU with the kids, then answered the questions that came up...

Actually, since I had daughters, I was able to hand this task over to wifey, mostly (I actually have no idea what she told them, but I made sure it included birth control and STD's).

And SVU handled the problems that surround being careful about who you associate with, and where you do it, general dating stuff, and what your father will do to anybody who - in his judgement - is doing you harm....
[/quote]

I think I know what episode you watched

[Madness]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=thalassa link=topic=686.msg10877#msg10877 date=1289241962]
I think thats the paranoia I have on the matter...like we had an open enough household, discussion and information wise, that it was never percieved as "the talk"...but I know that because of that (and in a different climate than that of today) that I was the most factually educated individual among my peers on the matter. I think what concerns me, both from my work with womens health in the military as well as my previous job prior to that with the Red CRoss in schools, and just from being on a college campus now and hearing what goes on...that whatever the hell these kids are being taught is effed up.

And that scares me...because thats how diseases spread, thats how peopleget pregnant before they are equipt to handle it....
[/quote]

Er, sorry lost me here! You are paranoid about sex ed classes? Or just that being the only source of info. I actually thought my sex ed classes were really good. At 9 we learned about periods, anatomy, etc. Then in middle school it was more about actual sex. But the worst was "Freshman orientation" at my college. The average age of a freshman at that college (small private art school) was 25. We actually had to put condoms on bananas and such. I loved the guy in the class that was married with 3 kids who fake fumbled with the whole thing, tore the condom and said "damn, no wonder I have so many kids!"

And I think that having animals as an example was also a good intro to the whole subject. Babies are born like kittens are born. Made total sense to me. Goat mating didn't make me very excited about having sex though. *shudder*

[thalassa]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=Madness link=topic=686.msg10932#msg10932 date=1289248088]
Er, sorry lost me here! You are paranoid about sex ed classes? Or just that being the only source of info. I actually thought my sex ed classes were really good. At 9 we learned about periods, anatomy, etc.
[/quote]

lol, no I'm not paranoid about sex ed classes (depending on the school system giving them...I've seen plenty of crappy ones), but about the *everything else*. Media, peers, etc.

[Madness]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=thalassa link=topic=686.msg10937#msg10937 date=1289248372]
lol, no I'm not paranoid about sex ed classes (depending on the school system giving them...I've seen plenty of crappy ones), but about the *everything else*. Media, peers, etc.
[/quote]

Gotcha!

My husband and I were listening to a local radio nutcase talk about some recent survey and she equated same-sex experiences with 'sexually dangerous' behavior. She was saying it's because of the hypersexualized media that kids these days are doing "bad" things. We then got into a big debate about that. My stance is that kids/people do sexually "stupid" things not simply because of the media, but because our general culture is also sexually repressed. We are AFRAID to talk about it in any normal conversation. So we shouldn't talk about "it" but "it" is all over the TV, news, movies, etc either explicitly or implicitly. It's confusing for young minds.

So we certainly want to be open at home and not make it into some big weird unknown.

[Corvus]

Re: The Sex Talk

Never had the talk. Never wanted to and never needed it( of course theirs still four years left eeep) I found a lot of books in middle school( sex ed program at school sucked) found dads porn stash when I was eleven. Acctually dad did say something once- don't get um pregant or ill beat ur ass- idiot still dosent know I prefer guys.
Still a virgin. I always knew about everything from when I was young (turbulent childhood involving someone who is now dead) but only recently have had any interest in sex, as I said the middle school had a large selection of sex ed books the high school has more.

[thalassa]

Re: The Sex Talk

I think (tries to figure out how to put this)...like, even by what everyone has posted in this thread...that when the subject "the sex talk" even comes up, that there is some sort idea that it is strictly about the BC issue, or STD prevention or the mechanics...

What about making sure your child is responsible enough to use that knowledge, or that they are self-aware enough to understand if they are not ready, or that they value themselves enough to be able to say "no" under pressure from someone they love...or that they have enough knowledge to enjoy it (dude, if we are all honest, we all know that it takes some work to get it spectacular).

I mean...(if you are in the US) we live in one of the most promiscuously repressed sexual cultures in the world. How effed up does *that* make our kids?

[Corvus]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=thalassa link=topic=686.msg10956#msg10956 date=1289250413]
I think (tries to figure out how to put this)...like, even by what everyone has posted in this thread...that when the subject "the sex talk" even comes up, that there is some sort idea that it is strictly about the BC issue, or STD prevention or the mechanics...

What about making sure your child is responsible enough to use that knowledge, or that they are self-aware enough to understand if they are not ready, or that they value themselves enough to be able to say "no" under pressure from someone they love...or that they have enough knowledge to enjoy it (dude, if we are all honest, we all know that it takes some work to get it spectacular).

I mean...(if you are in the US) we live in one of the most promiscuously repressed sexual cultures in the world. How effed up does *that* make our kids?
[/quote]

Very just ask my psychopath, I mean psychologist

[Medusa]

Re: The Sex Talk

What about the talk about masturbation? I don't think any girls ever get that talk.

[thalassa]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=Medusa link=topic=686.msg10970#msg10970 date=1289252132]
What about the talk about masturbation? I don't think any girls ever get that talk.
[/quote]

EXACTLY!!

I sure never had that talk! What if 1.0 wants a vibrator at 13? WTF do I say to that ?

ZOMG...that is only 10 years away.

[Medusa]

Re: The Sex Talk

[quote author=thalassa link=topic=686.msg10974#msg10974 date=1289252285]
EXACTLY!!

I sure never had that talk! What if 1.0 wants a vibrator at 13? WTF do I say to that ?

ZOMG...that is only 10 years away.
[/quote]
You do what all us girls did. You get a long handle shower head with the pulsing head. And you let her have 20 minutes of shower time.