Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

[anubisa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What do you live in denial about?

My career choices. Did I choose the right things to major in? Things like that.

[iris]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What do you live in denial about?

If I could tell you, would I be in denial? I'm trying to ingore the fact that I don't like university, and have no real desire to become a teacher.

[nbdy]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What do you live in denial about?

Probably our ability to be self sustaining. Truth is that we are "gentleman farmers" and we'd be about as screwed as everyone else if the going got tough.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What do you live in denial about?

I live in complete and utter denial about the level of damage my emotional soul is under. In brief glimpses of clarity, I see myself in a long term bout of depression. So deep I no longer can tell if I'm depressed or just always been this way. I have found my level. And it's underground. Then I fill that brief silence with background noise like the news or talking youtube videos and all is right with the world.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

[Willow]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

If the person is genuinely clueless about how their actions or words affected me, not difficult. If it was intentional, or if I made it clear to them what they did and how it hurt me and they still don't apologize, then I don't forgive.

I write them off, and move on with my life. I think that extremist attitude is a conditioned response from the weird of my child life, but it's something that I haven't been able to rewire (or had much of a real reason to rewire - as I don't need those kinds of people in my life).

[anubisa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

I usually try to forgive everyone. If they refuse to apologize, it might be hard though.

[nbdy]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

Very easy. Forgiveness has nothing to do with what they do or don't do and everything to do with who I am. The behavior of another will affect how I interact with them in the future, but has no bearing on my ability to forgive.

[Jembru]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

Very easy. Forgiveness has nothing to do with what they do or don't do and everything to do with who I am. The behavior of another will affect how I interact with them in the future, but has no bearing on my ability to forgive.

My answer exactly! I think I've forgiven everyone who's crossed me. Even my former best friend who started dating my boyfriend behind my back while I was in Japan. The discovery of this relationship led me to take up smoking and quitting my job, losing my dream of living overseas forever. What those people did probably had the biggest impact on my life of anything anyone could do. It affected how long it took me to master Japanese, it affected where I live and the fact I do a job that so many people look down on, when I used to have a comfortable teaching job with a decent wage. It even affected my health over the 8 years I continued to smoke after that fateful morning. The fact he used me for a free holiday in Japan, telling me he loved me while texting my friend back home that he misses her, damaged my self esteem, and ability to trust for years to come.

Yet I was the one who chose to quit my job, who decided to use cigarettes to get me through that horrible day. I was the one who blamed myself for being used. These two went on to become very unhappy people. The relationship (that she thankfully got out of), was emotionally abusive, and everything she describes, I can remember seeing the early warning signs of in my own encounter with the man, so in some ways, she took a bullet for me. Hating either of them, or refusing to forgive them, would only have stopped me from moving on from that chapter of my life. The hate would feel like a string holding me back, tying me to that horrible point in my history. Who'd want that? It took me a few years to realise this though.

Sometimes forgiving myself for my imperfections or unwise actions, takes a little longer to do though.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What insults your intelligence?

[thalassa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What insults your intelligence?

People that treat hyperbole as if is a real and realistic statement.

[Jembru]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What insults your intelligence?

Any kind of reality TV/talent show that involves voting via text message. Why is this still a thing?

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What insults your intelligence?

Patriarchy.

[Medusa]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

What insults your intelligence?

This is an question years in the making for me. And it's a big fat one. When I ask a question, do not answer with what you think I wanted to know. I know how to form my questions. Answer my question directly or you know..I get testy.

[kalynraye]

Re: Medusa's QDJ (the year of THE WOLVERINE!)

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

There are people in this world that I will let walk over me a 100x's over and forgive every time. Then there are people that for the life of me I cannot forgive. I don't forgive the man that abused my mother physically and emotionally for over 10 years. I don't forgive my molester. Do I hate these men and let them rule my life? No, but I don't forgive their actions.

What insults your intelligence?

I have ONE word for this. Condescension. This puts me in instant B@#$% mode. It flips the switch and I see red.